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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you tolerate DP spending £7k on World Cup trip?

704 replies

Rigaboni · 06/12/2025 18:26

DP declared he is travelling to the World Cup and will be staying in Boston for 10 nights, to watch two games. He will miss DDs 2nd birthday. It will cost £4k for flights and hotels, perhaps around £2k spending money and maybe around £1k for tickets.

We have separate finances, I earn a bit more. We pay a percentage of our salary in to a joint account to cover joint bills.

How would you feel about this?

YABU = it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity and you can always earn more money
YANBU = I wouldn’t tolerate him treating himself to a £7k solo holiday

OP posts:
JacknDiane · 06/12/2025 20:05

Rigaboni · 06/12/2025 18:59

Scotland are shit and haven’t qualified in something like 23 years

Show quote history

He still can't afford it.

ChristmasinBrighton · 06/12/2025 20:06

Given your updates YANBU. He can’t afford it.

Obviously you can’t stop him from going, but I would cheerfully go on holidays without him whilst he repays his debt.

I would be fuming tbh given your financial situation.

Zero2ten · 06/12/2025 20:08

I see where he’s coming from. It’d be a great trip and possibly not quite once in a lifetime but certainly no guarantee they’ll qualify for 2030 which would be much more manageable cost wise.
I’d suggest he properly researched flight costs, there will be various ways of doing it which might make it cheaper. Get him researching basic air bnb’s, he’s hardly going to be in the accommodation.

Think I’d be going on my own holiday while he’s away though, go with a friend or your mum maybe?

Cazziebo · 06/12/2025 20:11

AlwaysRightISwear · 06/12/2025 18:34

Hardly a trip of a lifetime, it happens every four years.

Not if he’s a Scotland fan! Grin

SleeplessInWherever · 06/12/2025 20:11

The only way I’d tolerate my partner spaffing £7k on 2 games of football, would be if we were literally made entirely of money.

Absolutely not.

Tiswa · 06/12/2025 20:12

First off Foxborough is NOT Boston, it is the equilvalent of thinking Luton is London (and to be fair the airport can give that impression) so he has to allow for travel and costs of that.

then he is massively underestimating ticket prices of things around at the moment I ant find anything cheaper than $1200

Pineapplewaves · 06/12/2025 20:12

I would be upset that DP isn’t taking me and DD. I don’t like football and would be happy for him to go to that with his friends but there’s no reason why we couldn’t go as a family and do things on the other days. I’d be livid if DP booked that without telling me.

JoWilkinsonsno1fan · 06/12/2025 20:13

I think I would want to understand what it means for the family - can he still pay his bills? can you afford your family holiday? etc etc…

Calliopespa · 06/12/2025 20:14

I can't understand why a father would go into debt for two games.

It's a splurge if you were comfortably able to afford it. It's total extravagance if you can't.

But I don't know op: you will never hear the end of it if he doesn't go because he sounds like it is organised.

At the least I'd tell him you are disappointed by his priorities.

Shoxfordian · 06/12/2025 20:17

Its a lot of money to spend and a long way to go to see Scotland knocked out

Calliopespa · 06/12/2025 20:17

I think I'd pay for your own flights (and DD) and go with him. Presuming you can share his room. You can have a celebration for DD in Boston.

By the time he's paid for accommodation its false economy not to have someone sleep on the other side of the bed.

Bruisername · 06/12/2025 20:18

Calliopespa · 06/12/2025 20:17

I think I'd pay for your own flights (and DD) and go with him. Presuming you can share his room. You can have a celebration for DD in Boston.

By the time he's paid for accommodation its false economy not to have someone sleep on the other side of the bed.

OP hasn’t mentioned it but I imagine he’s going with his mates…

taralovey · 06/12/2025 20:19

Haven't read the full post but I'm assuming it's for Scotland in which case I'd let it slide if it's affordable because our chances are it'll be another lifetime before it happens again 😂

blankcanvas3 · 06/12/2025 20:19

I would be fine with it as long as he was paying. It’s a once in a lifetime situation

AfraidToRun · 06/12/2025 20:20

He just told you? No discussion?

jay55 · 06/12/2025 20:20

You might not have joint finances but you’ll be on the hook for all emergencies while he’s paying it off.
It’s really not him just spending his money/creating his own debt.

IceyBisBack · 06/12/2025 20:21

Nope!!! Hes missing an important event he will never see again...World Cup back in 4 years, your daughter will never be 2 again

Velveletteslonleylonelygirlami · 06/12/2025 20:21

I think expenditure for two tickets is going to be more than a grand by what's been coming out about prices.

PeloMom · 06/12/2025 20:22

Checking out of family life isn’t a unilateral decision. He can’t just decide and go- he isn’t single. Also it’s not a once in a life time event- it’s every 4 yrs!

FamBae · 06/12/2025 20:22

I was going to say his money his choice, but apparently (after your update) he doesn't have the money.
Your quite right he's being incredibly selfish and entitled op. and you're going to be expected to dig deeper until he's paid it off.
Part of being an adult is accepting that no matter how much you want something, sometimes you simply can't afford to have it.

SheSaidHummingbird · 06/12/2025 20:23

Rigaboni · 06/12/2025 18:59

Scotland are shit and haven’t qualified in something like 23 years

Show quote history

Disagree, the Scots rise above such competitions and are in a league of their own.

Nanny0gg · 06/12/2025 20:24

Rigaboni · 06/12/2025 18:34

Whilst we don’t have joint finances we have joint savings goals. For example, new carpets, get the garden done which now we won’t be able to afford to do because he’s getting himself in to debt and will spent the next however long paying it off. We also won’t be able to afford a family holiday for the next couple of years because I’m not prepared to pay for all of us. He doesn’t have £7k or anywhere close in savings so it will be going on a credit card

Then I'd have a problem.

Gettingbysomehow · 06/12/2025 20:24

Sure, if I could spend an equal amount on cosmetic surgery which I am actually doing but Im divorced so I do what I want.
A two year old won't be bothered about him being there for a birthday.
I guess it depends on if he is a decent husband and father in other ways and can your household budget afford this.

Haaaaaaan · 06/12/2025 20:25

ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/12/2025 18:30

2 year old won’t even understand so why’s 2 such an awful age to do it?

Show quote history

What?!?! My 28 month old is still talking about his 2nd birthday... If anything, it was the first celebration he properly understood although he enjoyed Christmas at about 18 months!

I'd be irritated that it was "declared" not told. Financially I'd internally tut and if it impacted the ability to go away as a family I'd be quite irritated, but otherwise it's his money and decision. If this is affordable in your lives, I'd be looking forward to a luxury 2 week £7k break with a friend while he does the childcare! For that price you could treat the friend! If you're struggling for money as a couple then it would warrant a serious talk about plans.

Oldntired · 06/12/2025 20:25

Yes I feel your pain op. Scotland are playing in Boston and Miami
DP has not stopped talking about it - in our house and with his family and friends.
but I’ve been clear - if he’s going me and DD3 are coming too. We will amuse ourselves quite happily while he is at the games (if he gets tickets)