Would you tolerate DP spending £7k on World Cup trip?

[Rigaboni]

DP declared he is travelling to the World Cup and will be staying in Boston for 10 nights, to watch two games. He will miss DDs 2nd birthday. It will cost £4k for flights and hotels, perhaps around £2k spending money and maybe around £1k for tickets.

We have separate finances, I earn a bit more. We pay a percentage of our salary in to a joint account to cover joint bills.

How would you feel about this?

YABU = it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity and you can always earn more money
YANBU = I wouldn’t tolerate him treating himself to a £7k solo holiday

If he could affirm to spend 21 k on a family holiday on top I would . Other way I would throw him out

If I had the money. I would be going myself and taking my husband with me.

Personally with a family I would say he is being absolutely selfish you could use that money for savings for the children or a family holiday. No single days should be behind you I suppose you should ask yourself would you as a mum go blowing 7K on a hobby even if you can afford it plus he's just off on his jolly for 2 weeks leaving you to deal with young children.

This is absolutely mental and anyone who says otherwise is also mental 🤣. You don’t spend that kind of money - almost 20% of your annual income on a trip for yourself when you have a child and next to no savings. I would be livid and questioning my future with that person as it is absolutely not ok to do all of that without consulting you first. Just because you aren’t married, you live together with a child. I can’t believe anyone would defend him and as I say, I would question my future in this relationship. It’s utterly selfish.

Yeah, so I would be fuming.
A) because it’s DD birthday
B) because 7k would be quite a bit of money for us and there are better things we could do with it, for sure.
C) England won’t bring it home. Sorry, but they won’t.

I wouldn’t mind this as long as he also lets you spend your money as you please and it isn’t taking away from any household finances.

Treat yourself to a round the world cruise while he looks after the children. 2 can play at that game. I'm a bit jealous tbh as I would love to go to a world cup (though not the North America one) but FIFA have totally overpriced the tickets

I wonder how he would react to you unilaterally declaring you’d be going on a £7k trip for 2 weeks and that he’d be looking after your 2 year old and organising her birthday party?

He didn’t ask you because he knew what your (totally justified) reaction would be.

Something like this has to be a family decision. You are not wealthy enough for him to afford this solo trip without an impact on family finances and family holidays. It is really unfair and I think he is a selfish pig.

As long as it doesn't affect the percentage that he pays out towards bills and doesn't affect any future holidays together..ie .using up holiday from work.
Is he going alone ?

I'm surprised people are agreeing with him. I do not know 1 parent that would go away and leave their family for a full 10 days. Especially to go away with their friends. (I could understand if it was for work) And he'll be missing a child's birthday. Doesn't sound like a family man.

Also, that amount of money is a lot to spend on himself. I'm sorry but I know I wouldn't stand for that. It's the world cup and he can go to one when the children are older and save up for it. We'll probably have it in the UK sometime.

The only thing that would bother me was him pricing himself out of future family holidays. It’s immensely selfish that he should expect you to either forgo holidays for the foreseeable future, go alone with DD, or go alone and leave DD with him, which you may not feel comfortable with whilst she’s so young.

I'd be really livid if my DH ever did this to me, why should you subsidise him? It doesn't sound as though you can do much to stop him at this stage, but he must surely cut back severely on his spending whilst he pays this back to the family finances. Does he have a credit card in his sole name?

Your daughter won’t remember her 2nd birthday. I wouldn’t mind at all.

I think in principle it should be fine as long as you can take trips as well from time to time as well, with him holding the fort.

However, if he’s getting into debt to go, he shouldn’t do it as he can’t afford it. He should save up first and go to the 2030 one instead.

Wait he booked before discussing it ??

I would let him go if it didnt effect the joint account as long as he paid for it himself i dont see a issue x ive gone on 2 hoildays without my husband due to his work commitments he dont mind one bit he gets peace and quite for a week or 2 lol. i can count on 1 hand how many times my husband has been at home on new yrs eve to celebrate our sons birthday and hes almost 14

I would be fucking LIVID

I mean yeah, he’s a total arse. I am not that ‘cool’ wife that would accept my husband getting into debt to watch a football match.
Did he have a conversation with you prior to booking? It seems like he ‘booked and informed’ which would piss me off even more than the debt.
not sure how I would handle it as my husband wouldn’t do this but it would make me think long and hard about the relationship if our long term goals didn’t align

Ask him where he will be living when he comes back.

Then remind him he has a family and will he be ordering a passport for DD, or will you do it and you are overjoyed at the thought of spending DD's 2nd birthday in New York.

It will. If he goes he won’t be able to afford to go on the family holiday for a couple of years, and the OP doesn’t feel like she wants to take her DD away by herself. He’s essentially spending their family holiday fund on himself.

Presumably you’re spending 7k on a holiday for yourself and leaving him to babysit for 10 days also ?

The trip id have no issue with. As long as you’re free to do something similar if the occasion arised. However, the missing of his daughter’s birthday is something I would be upset over.

I’d be pretty annoyed if my DH did this, mainly as I don’t see the point of spending that much to travel to watch football. However my DH goes on a cycling holiday each year abroad and I whole heartedly support him going ….. and look forward to him going 😂 we have Adult DC.

If you’re Scottish absolutely 100% we never qualify and it’s an actual once in a lifetime thing!
but only if it doesn’t get you into debt! I saved for Disnewyorld Florida as a single parent and not one single credit card or loan, even from my folks came into it. And I worked extra hours etc. it is doable without the debt side.