Would you tolerate DP spending £7k on World Cup trip?

[Rigaboni]

DP declared he is travelling to the World Cup and will be staying in Boston for 10 nights, to watch two games. He will miss DDs 2nd birthday. It will cost £4k for flights and hotels, perhaps around £2k spending money and maybe around £1k for tickets.

We have separate finances, I earn a bit more. We pay a percentage of our salary in to a joint account to cover joint bills.

How would you feel about this?

YABU = it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity and you can always earn more money
YANBU = I wouldn’t tolerate him treating himself to a £7k solo holiday

I think he’s being optimistic re costings. I was looking at Boston accommodation last night and it is eye watering…

I agree @secretrugbyfan FIFA have been sending me ticket information for weeks including before the club World Cup the delight of spend £500 to get club world tickets and a right to buy at the World Cup
mixed with that fact these things just aren’t for the teams playing as fans either anymore we did two Euro matches in Germany last year and the amount of neutrals is high - the number of seats say for Haiti Scotland seems high when you think of the numbers of Haitians/Scottish who want to see it but again it will have neutrals in it

food prices as well US hotels don’t do half board

I would say he is ill prepared and under budgeted. We love football and as I said went last year and it was amazing but. I won’t touch this one with a barge pole due to costs and infrastructure. it’s a FIFA issue

and it isn’t a US issue we are happily going to watch Lakers Basketball in April

and look the Euros are in 2 years in oh where Scotland (amongst others) where he will be able to watch

This!

In this house £7k would represent 3 months' total income and I would have a breakdown if my dh spent it on anything. If you can afford it (and you could feasibly spend similar on a trip of your choice sometime), that's different. Tbh the birthday wouldn't be that big a deal, a 2 yr old isn't going to be upset or even remember really.

I wouldn’t object in principle to dh wanting to do something like this once every few years however “declaring” he is going -over dc’s birthday- without proper consultation is pretty unacceptable IMO.

DH has sometimes been away with friends/brothers and it’s always been a discussion and agreement, mostly just for practical reasons with me needing to juggle work and kids single handedly while he is away. Ditto when I’ve gone away.

I recognise that you have separate finances but it would also worry me a lot if he didn’t have the cash upfront to pay and was going to rack up a huge debt. You could argue that he could do what he likes if he has a lot of personal cash and it isn’t going to affect family finances but that clearly isn’t true

finally I’d be pissed odd that presumably that is going to rule out a family holiday that year, for both annual leave and financial reasons

yanbu!

In a reply today, OP has said he’ll be sharing a room. But yes the prices there next June are crazy high - £6k is the average total cost for a ten night stay in a three star hotel.

Won't let me edit but having read your update, if it's going on credit and impacting family finances, no. I'd be livid.

Haitians aren't allowed to travel to the US, so they will have no fans in the stadium (and, tbh, if you were a Haiti-born American resident, you wouldn't want to be anywhere near there given what's going on with ICE)

Given that he’s Scottish I can totally see his point. I’d have less sympathy if he was English.

The 10 days wouldn’t outrage me but on the assumption that he was going to work hard to make sure my 10 days of 24/7 solo parenting were as easy as possible. I’d expect him to be leaving a spotless house with a well stocked fridge and hitting the ground running when he gets back. The birthday is not ideal but it’s a scheduling crash rather than thoughtlessness and the baby won’t know enough to mind.

The money would bother me a lot. It’s 3 months take-home roughly and separate finances of not, it will impact. I would expect him to pay for it in entirety without impact on the family finances. How he will do that idk. I’m a 0% credit card juggler - I took one just last week to pay dds uni rent due in January (September payment on a card that runs out next September). The plan for the new card is dds rent - 2 instalments (£4600). New varifocals for me (budget £400). Ds2s first car insurance (based on what I paid for older kids in same car £1200) - total £6200 (ish) . It’s a 22 month card but I’ll spread it over 20 months £310/month (ish). Just say he can’t get as good a deal as me (I earn more and my credit score is spectacular, perversely, as I’m always borrowing). Say he has to stump up £2k on a normal card and can pay £5k off 0% over 12 months.

£2k at 27% will be £200/month for 12 months (£250ish interest)
£5k at 0% will be £416/month for 12 months
£614/month for a whole year

So he’s in the soup for something between (best case £7k at 0% 20 months) £350/month for 20 months to (worst case 34% card for full £7k) £700/month for 12 months - or even worse stick with £350/month on a high rate card and be in debt until the baby is in school.

He needs a plan to pay that debt. I have a side hustle of bank/locum in my normal profession and an 8/h a week contract in a min wage hospitality job. Dh does UberEats in his spare time. What is your dh proposing to fill the hole? Be poorer?

True I still can’t see a single ticket at the moment under £900 and it is all seat geek/Ticketmaster as well

I think he is massively under budgeting as well

the thing is most football fans would love to watch it - just be realistic about cost and he can’t afford it

Following OP,'s updates it is absolutely unaffordable. Does he already have any debt? He seems financially improvident.

I would not want to give the Trump Regime seven grand of my money so no

I clicked you were unreasonable before I read it was on credit card and he doesn’t have the money, that I would object to. Not the going, but I’d expect my husband to only spend on what he can afford, and not impact family ie no hols, back burner for home improvements etc, I find that selfish and unacceptable.

This is that I thought. It's not a 10th birthday or anything. WC is a once in a lifetime opportunity whilst the birthday will be swiftly forgotten. Nobody will be thinking back to 2nd bday when she's 4yo.

Although will be lolz if England get knocked out straight away. 😂

The purpose of the holiday is irrelevant.

He can’t afford the trip and will be clocking up debt to do it. Debt which will impact your family. Assume all of calculations will be on the low side so the amount will be higher.

Really poor idea.

Given that he’s a Scotland supporter, I don’t think he’ll mind too much England going home early

For gods sake it isn’t once in a lifetime it’s more 3-4 times a lifetime for a start. It is the 9th time they are there not the first. Yes it is a great opportunity to watch them but Scotland do manage tournaments every now and then and the 2028 one will be in Scotland.

then even if it was he can’t afford it. His budget is already looking unrealistic and he can’t afford that

All Scottish football fans want to go I imagine most are far more realistic as to affordability

plus if he really was family focused he could easily work it around the fort lauderdale match and make it a family holiday for that one

this.

No debt and he informs me he has £2k put aside and will put his £600 bonus towards it. It still leaves a massive shortfall

And when you mention the DIY and family holidays what does he say?

But he’s getting into debt to do it. For me that level of credit card debt is fiscally irresponsible, even if he can pay it off, even though it will be at the detriment to family activities, plus he will have no savings.

as said I’d have no issue with the trip itself, I’ve always felt we should both be able to support each other to go and do things we wish and enjoy, life doesn’t stop with parenthood, but I do expect financial responsibility.

So he can probably buy the tickets, travel to and from the stadium and some food.

So nowhere near what he needs then

How long has he taken to save £2k and is that to the detriment of household savings?

My hubby spent 5k on a 6 day jolly to the USA to watch PGA golf in North Carolina. Did some sight seeing en route. I didn’t mind as we could afford it. I’d treated my daughter and myself to a holiday to Malta and just returned from a week in Egypt.

if I was in your position I would have to say no, it’s just not fair, 🤗

Scotland playing in world cup is a big deal

Occasional holidays separately is fine

Could celebrate 2nd birthday late

And he'd be paying for it himself

So far, so good

But he can't afford it, so it's a Nope from me. We should all be living within our means. YOLO is all very well, but people need to take responsibility for themselves, and this will increasingly be the case, IMHO

Scotland playing in world cup is a big deal

Occasional holidays separately is fine

Could celebrate 2nd birthday late

And he'd be paying for it himself

So far, so good

But he can't afford it, so it's a Nope from me. We should all be living within our means. YOLO is all very well, but people need to take responsibility for themselves, and this will increasingly be the case, IMHO