Burst my friend's bubble?

[Flyingmonica]

My friend goes on about her son likely being tall - 6 foot 3 based on the UK growth chart. Would I be unreasonable in telling her that because she isn't very tall, this is unlikely to be the case and that the growth chart predictions are rubbish?

She is sold on the idea of her son being tall and her son has come to believe that too but I think that now he is approaching puberty, he may become very disappointed.

Should I just leave it be or should I give her a dose of reality?

How tall is his dad?

Why would you want to give your friend a dose of reality? That sounds nasty. Just let it be. Time will tell how tall he ends up.

I’m 5’3” and DS is 6’4”.

It does happen.

And what makes you the expert anyway?

I have 4 siblings and we're all different heights. My parents weren't tall, and yet two of them would be in the higher range.

Let them be.

Not necessarily. I'm 5ft2 and my dc are 6ft2 and 6ft1 (and growing). Dh is only 6ft, so dc can well be taller than both parents.

TBH in our dc's generation 6ft2 doesn't even come across as that tall, young people are on average much taller than they were when I was their age. My brother, who is 6ft2 was considered very tall. Now 6ft2 or 3 is tall, but not unusually so any more.

Sons are usually taller than their mother’s though aren’t they? My sister is around 5 foot 4, her husband maybe 5 10, and all of their boys are over 6 foot. So maybe he will be. Does it matter?! Of course just leave it!

YABU. It happens all the time. My uncle is 5,9 and his wife is 5,1. All three of their sons are over six foot. One is 6,5.

What will be will be. Why does it matter to
you. Some buys don’t reach their full height until late teens

Yeah if the dad is tall and her siblings or parents were tall he could easily be.

If both their families are all below average then it's more unlikely.

Plenty of average or short women have six foot plus sons though. Just wait and see what happens.

Sons are usually taller than their mums

What does it matter to you?
THINK is what you are going to say True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind

His dad is about 5 foot 10.

Telling her would save her and her son from disappointment by helping them to temper their expectations.

My dad is 6’ and his parents were 5’ 6 and 4’ 10.

DH is 6’ 2 and his parents are 5’ 7 and 5’9.

You never know.

Honestly you sound really awful. You can’t predict it at all. Plenty of short parents have very tall children.

You aren't bothered about tempering their expectations or cushioning their disappointment. You've used phrases such as 'burst her bubble' and 'dose of reality'. You just want to take away something that is making your friend happy.

But you have no idea how tall he is going to be so why tell her it's not going to happen? its possible he could be tall as bigger height is linked with better nutrition than it was years ago.

This seems like a really spiteful odd thing to do and frankly, I dont think you want to do this out of concern for your friend. I think you have your own nefarious motives.

I'm much taller than both my parents.

Things like diet in early childhood make a difference too.

Oh come on! It wouldn’t save them anything. If that are that wedded to the idea of him being tall no snide comments from you will make a difference.

Why does this matter to you? Enough to come on MN and sneer about your friend?

Some self reflection might be in order.

No you're just being nasty for some reason. YOU have no idea how tall he's going to be.

valvulation from their height at 2 is far more accurate than you looking at his parents and going 'nah'

ask yourself why you wish to knock your 'friend' and her DS down a peg or two. Deal with your own inadequacies

Telling her would do nothing but upset her, and you might turn out to be wrong anyway.

People are often a bit misguided about their own children. Good friends just smile and nod, and then act supportive if they end up disappointed.

If he's on course to be tall he very likely will be, more likely than if he was always short for his age. Some children do slow down after puberty rather than having the big growth spurt, but tall children usually become tallish adults. And they will get used to him not being particularly tall if he's not. Why would you want to argue about it?

Butt out, you sound really mean and ovet invested in another person's family. This is totally trivial.

You and your friend both sound weird as fuck. Why is she so fixated on her son being tall? And why are you so fixated on her fixation?!

OK, so he'll be at least 5ft 10 by the sound of things which us reasonable tall. I mean, even if the dad was really short, I'd just leave her to it. But why are you bothered by what she thinks about how tall her son is going to be?