Burst my friend's bubble?

[Flyingmonica]

My friend goes on about her son likely being tall - 6 foot 3 based on the UK growth chart. Would I be unreasonable in telling her that because she isn't very tall, this is unlikely to be the case and that the growth chart predictions are rubbish?

She is sold on the idea of her son being tall and her son has come to believe that too but I think that now he is approaching puberty, he may become very disappointed.

Should I just leave it be or should I give her a dose of reality?

My eldest is so tall! Has to stop through doorways. And then my younger one is about 5’10. I’m 5’7, and the shortest in my family. All the next generation apart from my youngest are like giants.

Everybody thinks you are over-invested and nasty because telling your friend that her son probably won't be a tall adult won't help either of them. If she's going to be disappointed why make that happen today rather than in 6 years time? If you were really concerned for her you wouldn't be reinforcing height=happiness and success (and I'm speaking as a tall person with tall DC) but emphasising other important qualities like honesty and decency.

People are "going on" about their childrens/brother/parents height because you claimed he wouldn't be tall because his mum isn't tall, which clearly isn't the case. There does seem to be a weird obsession with height from your end though. If he's 5'6 in his early teens he is unlikely to be a short man. Does the exact height matter at all. I hardly think this kid is desperate to make 6'3 and will feel that his life is ruined if he doesn't make it. You aren't doing them a favour by telling them especially as you have absolutely no way of knowing how tall he will end up, kids his age have massive growth spurts, so in a couple of months you could be proved very wrong.

Your motivation seems to be very unpleasant. Burst her bubble?

Everyone in my family is considerably taller than either parent.

Just butt out.
Honestly what faux concern you have OP. Be honest with yourself as to why this bothers you, and why you’re posting about it on here. Seriously!

I think it’s often the case (although not an exact science) that men get their height from the maternal line so usually the maternal grandfather is a good indicator. I don’t think it’s good to place so much on a child regarding something they have absolutely no control over

i have two dd (now adults ) one Is 5.8 and the other is 5,2 🤷‍♀️

I've just read your further posts op. You want to save him from disappointment? You have no idea how tall he will be so why worry them for the next few years?
Maybe you do care about his disappointment in the future but yoir terminology "bursting their bubble" & "dose of reality" is making you sound nasty

Not in our case. My dad was 6' 2' but my son is only 5' 9" or 5' 10", I forget. He definately takes after his dad's side.

My kids 25th centile what am I looking at height wise? To save him disappointment of course

You are odd for even caring about this.

He may take after his Dad or another family member. Just because the mum is short is meaningless. Why don’t need to say anything? Just nod along and change the subject.

I'm 5'1, my son's dad is 5'4, my son is 5'11. It's entirely possible he'll be tall

Let them deal with it if it doesn’t happen. Why burst their bubble? These things can only be guessed at on both sides so I wouldn’t let it bother you.

Weird thread, who cares?!

The only reason height matters is if it makes your life difficult - so if you are really tall or really short and can’t find clothes to fit, bang your head on doorframes, get lost in crowds etc.

It doesn’t matter to anyone else. It seems as though it is you who is obsessed with height and you are projecting onto your friend!

Place marking for the OP’s update in 8 years time

Op, you sound very mean,

The boy has quite a few years of growth left.
Boys growth spurts start later,
Hold off on your bubble bursting, you may very well be wrong. Why do you even want to burst her bubble anyway?

You sound more frenemy than friend.

It can't be purely genetics because if it were, average heights wouldn't increase. It's down to childhood nutrition too. Where I live I regularly see young teenage school kids as tall as me, and I'm just shy of 6ft. So there's probably a decent chance he'll be tall.

Height is a strange thing. I know a couple who had two boys. Both boys are 6th 2” Mother was 4ft 10” and father 5ft 1”

My own dd is 7” taller than me and 2”
taller than her father
Ds is 1” taller than his sister

Both dc’s growth charts were very wrong. They were a lot taller

People are about ‘going on’ about thier tall children - they are giving you examples of where they have tall children when the parents are not particularly tall.

DH is about 6ft and his mum if 5ft nothing and his dad about 5ft 6.

i dont think you really need to get involved with your friend. You sound more obsessed with it than her!! I am sure they will work out what height he may be soon enough. Plus nothing can be done about it anyway.

Kids in the better off half of scout district are taller than the kids from the less well off half of the district - to the point it's noticeable.

Part of this could be genetically related - taller men are more likely to be successful. However it has to be more related to environmental factors such as diet - cos we know there are significant differences along economic lines.

It's actually frightening.

Ive heard if the mum and dad are similar heights boys will be taller than their dad because their mum has more tall genes. For example im 160cm and ex is 168cm so not huge difference. Im more average for a woman and my dad is taller than his parents so that should pass down. If that makes any sense.