over a bloody booster seat 🥵

[StarDolphins]

My 9 year old is being taken to a party in Manchester (1 hour journey) today by the birthday girls parents. She is 134cm (she’s a bit less actually but because her Dad told her she’s that, she’s sticking to it)

Sges currently sobbing and shouting (since 7am off & on) because I’m insisting she has her booster seat when all the other 7 kids won’t have one. She said she’s going to get laughed at and she just wants to fit in & be the same. I’ve tried to be understanding, I’ve said blame it on me, I’ve said they’re not good friends etc.

AIBU to stick to my rule? She’s nearly there but technically still needs a booster until 135cm. I’m just worn down as she’s been crying over this ALL morning🙄

They have a booster seat in the car for a 4 year old cousin but their daughter hasn’t used a booster in a few years, she just gets in and wears seatbelt🙄

If the girls are this mean, surely they will just find something else to pick on her for. They don't sound very nice and at that age if asking why she still needs a car seat should be able to understand the rules and safety.

What's the party? Hope that doesn't have a height limit as while you have let this go, if the activity has strict guidance on height they will not be so lenient and have to abide by whatever rule is in place.

Totally agree with you and I hope I haven’t made the wrong decision.

You are actually ridiculous

You’re absolutely right and they will find something else to pick on her for. It’s an inflatables place.

Thanks for your input🤣 threads moved on though…

My youngest son is a bit shorter than average. I made him use the booster seat, especially if it was a long journey including motorways. I just used to tell him "it's the law, nothing I can do mate." Nothing is more important than his safety.

There are loads of things I do to make him feel better about his height. He's a great gymnast, footballer and distance runner. I always remind him that shorter compact builds are an advantage in many sports and disciplines, he has the edge on taller competitors - which is true. I point out all the amazing, tallented shorter men on tv. He's proud of his height now.

There are quite a few posters on here who I wouldn’t trust to drive my DC.

When your DC are old enough to drive will you tell them to ignore these rules

What happens if you never get to 150cms - so you have to use a booster forever?

I hope none of them have a height restriction 🙈
We went to a trampoline park and all the way there my DD sulked as she had looked it up online that they had an obstacle course but you had to be something like 130cm (which she isn't). She made such a fuss about how she wouldn't enjoy it. Thankfully when we got there they had changed it to 120cm and it was an old video she had seen.
I hope she does have a good day though and there isn't anything that causes an issue

Ignoring the law and ending up with a life changing injury, or worse is a pretty big deal at any age.

Exactly, in the UK you can age out at 12. I imagine most of Europe is the same.

Actually that would be another daft senario 130cm kid ages out at 12yo, taller younger sibling still needs a car seat at 140cm!

Germany is 150cm or 12 years old. Whichever comes first.

But a booster seat adds about 10 cm of height when a child is sitting on it. What is the difference that happens between 134cm and 135cm that means 134cm needs that 10cm of height and 135cm doesn't?

This law also doesn't account for body proportions. It's meant to be about where the seat belt sits but if a child has very long legs they can be above 135cm and still have the seatbelt dig into their neck whereas a child with a long torso could be 130cm and not have the seatbelt dig in.

Squid games no: stranger things fine 🙂

tbh though - if you’ve had to speak to school about these mean girls - why is she invited and why are you letting her go in the first place?

When it comes to children, you cant be rigid all the time. Its not like shes letting her go for a joyride on the bonnet

Well this is why it's important to understand the reasons behind the law, rather than just blindly (or loosely) following it. Safety wise, closer to 150cm is a seatbelt starts to fit properly.

yes but those examples are exaggerated. to continue your analogy to match with the actual difference in this instance (1cm!) it would be more like
"I only had a sip of a pint"
"I was only going at 71mph"

Isn't part of the car seat legislation also due to bone structure as well as height, weight etc, hence the age rule as well?

She invited because she’s grown up with one of the girls as the mum is my friend.

When she got the invite, I said it’s up to you but don’t forget how mean some of them have been and how they’ve made you feel. Have a think and let me know. She said she wanted to go so I said the same again and she kept saying she wants to go. Her dad sent me a barrage of texts blaming me saying I should tell her she can’t go, calling some of the kids fat little fuckers and all sorts!

I don’t think it’s my place to tell her she can’t go. She is 9, which I know is young, but how is she ever going to learn if I step in and refuse invites because some kids are awful. She has to navigate this through her own decisions. I can only advise and coach her as to what is a good and healthy friendship - and I spend a large proportion of time doing so. I just hope that she’ll realise as she develops.

Would dad be happy that you have broken law re car seat? Does he use booster seat with her?

This.

The little square boosters are about as effective as a cushion from your lounge. If you want her to be safe she would need to be in a high back booster which wouldn't fit with so many in the car.

Which (and others) have been campaigning to "ban the booster" for years. They are just not safe

Yes he’ll be fine, he does it. He also added a cm on when he measured heras e wants to be her bestie🙄🤣

Accidents can happen even if only a five minute local trip, so need to use one every time if she needs one

Okay - her dad aside (😳 that’s a different thing to unpick)

I think perhaps I would have said “you can’t go we have plans” and done something completely different with her today just to make her think that. Yes deceptive but keep her away from the mean girls but also gives her the get out clause cos you said no

I get where she’s coming from - she’s constantly trying to fit in and she’s hoping each contact allows her to do that.

can I ask is the friends daughter one of the bullies or is it her friends?