over a bloody booster seat 🥵

[StarDolphins]

My 9 year old is being taken to a party in Manchester (1 hour journey) today by the birthday girls parents. She is 134cm (she’s a bit less actually but because her Dad told her she’s that, she’s sticking to it)

Sges currently sobbing and shouting (since 7am off & on) because I’m insisting she has her booster seat when all the other 7 kids won’t have one. She said she’s going to get laughed at and she just wants to fit in & be the same. I’ve tried to be understanding, I’ve said blame it on me, I’ve said they’re not good friends etc.

AIBU to stick to my rule? She’s nearly there but technically still needs a booster until 135cm. I’m just worn down as she’s been crying over this ALL morning🙄

I’m 5ft with shorter legs than torso. I use a booster cushion when I drive (a Yaris) to help me reach the pedals plus the seatbelt adjusted as low as it can go.
If I don’t use the cushion, I have to have the seat really far forward. Even with the cushion, the sun visors are useless.
A driving instructor friend suggested it as an air bag could do some serious damage when you’re very close to the steering wheel!
So not a booster seat as such but I do need a little help. The only car I have no problem driving is a BMW Isetta.

Anyway, I think the decision has to be made between the OP & the actual drivers.
Is it a hill to die on?
I’m not sure - I grew up being transported in the boot when the car was full as I was the smallest & could fit better but I think the adults should have the final say.

Shorter women drivers can be at higher risk in accidents, usually as can be too close to the air bag if it goes off. Also seat belt doesn’t always sit correctly

Thanks and I will be having a chat with her once it’s all calmed down. She said she hates me and that I’m embarrassing and various other things with lots of eye rolling and I just can’t let that continue.

⬆️ This.

Seat belt legislation isn’t designed to prevent accidents.

She's alright when she's driving but can only choose certain cars as it depends on how the seat adjusts! As a passenger she can't see much 😁. My dad is 5'7 and so is my brother, I'm the family giant at just shy of 5'10 , DH is 6'4, DS is only just 7 and will overtake my mum soon. My gran was even smaller, she used to say 4'10 and a fag paper! DH jokes with my parents that the family heirloom is a reaching stick 😂

Absolutely! One of us was going to be unhappy today and I’ve taken it but I won’t rest until she gets back.

I tell parents of kids under 135cm to bring their booster seat when travelling in my car.

My mum is an elf, and has travelled in a kids booster seat, complete with back.

I drive a small car, baby seat and booster in the back both isofixed in. Can you drop Betty off? It was late at night. I didnt want to faff getting car seats out. "Betty in thr front, Mum just sit in the car seat it will be fine"

The driver of the vehicle is legally responsible for her whilst on the journey. Being 1 or 2 cm under height does not excuse not using the booster. If there’s an accident which will involve an enquiry by the police the driver could be prosecuted and the seat belt, even though worn, wouldn’t be as effective as a child of the specific legal height.
The other children are old enough to have this explained to them.

Yep, and I’d be left dealing with it for the rest of my life.

Is the booster seat you use a full body seat (like a aeroplane seat) or just a square that just sits on the main seat of the car to ensure the seatbelt fits correctly? If it just the square that sits on top in the event of an accident the booster will come out from under the child sitting on it anyway.

My brother in law was a firefighter for 25 years and he always said how useless the square ones were. So many RTCs where the booster pad just flies out as it’s only the child’s weight keeping it in place.

What a silly comment

yes - as with most things in life- car safety has moved on

I was taken in the back in a Moses basket

car safety is non-negotiable so I would use a booster seat. I can’t believe some of the comments on here

embarassment doesn’t trump safety

and yes seatbelts were not designed for smaller frames - that isn’t sexism per se just fact!

I mean tampons were once considered luxury items ffs - these things happen

it’s also the driver who would be liable!

If car seat belts are so unsafe for small people, why do countries legislate for booster seats rather than mandate higher standards for car manufacturers? It seems daft everyone buying and ferrying boosters for 10yo (and adult women) when car builders could just design slightly lower sitting / adjustable seat belts.

To re-phrase the question: should you / the driver break the law because you and the other adults are too craven to stand up to a 9 year old having a strop?

https://www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules

You can get some of the cushions with guides for the seatbelts also some have Isofix. Not easy to find but they do exist.
They were just becoming available when I was looking for my oldest child.

Its only 1cm under.
Its only half a pint over the limit.
That tyre is only 0.5mm under the limit
I was only going at 80mph
He's doing his test next week, he's fine
I'll pay my car insurance next week
The Mot will be fine for another month

They are all arbitrary laws really... but all are there for a reason!

It’s not a wrap one, it’s just the square one that sits on the seat to lift her.

Absolutely this!

1cm under. Well is it the same for 3cm?

there are boundaries, rules, limits for a reason

people haven’t plucked this stuff out of thin air - especially with car safety!

Thanks and this is how I see it. I am the minority seemingly.

I’m on team booster seat. All my kids are tiny and we’re in booster seats in our cars until pretty old (y6 I guess). Decent journeys in other peoples cars they took a booster seat. A few miles on suburban 20/30mph roads I didn’t worry. We had little blow up ones so they didn’t take up excess space for when other people were travelling with a car full. 9 is old enough to understand the A - the driver, who is doing a nice thing taking you out, can get in trouble with the police and B - cars are designed to be safest for adults (average men specifically), not 9yo girls and you have to go make your path through life adapting to one fits all systems and C - your mum not wanting you to be hurt is a good thing that you should be pleased about.

I’m one of those short women for whom a booster seat would be ridiculous. I use a booster seat. Tbf it’s more for comfort than because I am statistically much more likely to be killed or seriously injured than an average sized man in an identical crash. I go in other cars as a passenger without one but I do sometimes sit on a rug or my coat.

Yabvu sorry girl

Edit, seen your updates, glad you let her go without it

Not sure what she said to you, but being seen as a baby and made fun of is a big deal at that age xx

Have a word with the parent taking them.

When my daughter was officially tall enough, she still preferred to use a booster in the front for comfort/better view. When I gave her friends a lift, I just said to the smaller one "why don't you sit in the front?" The booster was already there, no embarrassment.

It's likely the family still have a booster seat - it's easy enough to have one that happens to be already in the car - so someone has to sit on it.

I do agree with you, I do. I hate that I’ve let her go without it. I was very torn but she’s having ongoing issues with some of these shitty girls and I didn’t want her to be bullied for it. But I can’t say I disagree with you.

On this. Who cares if you are the minority

the kids are old enough to understand. And embarrassment should not trump safety

these other replies are mind blowing to me