over a bloody booster seat 🥵

[StarDolphins]

My 9 year old is being taken to a party in Manchester (1 hour journey) today by the birthday girls parents. She is 134cm (she’s a bit less actually but because her Dad told her she’s that, she’s sticking to it)

Sges currently sobbing and shouting (since 7am off & on) because I’m insisting she has her booster seat when all the other 7 kids won’t have one. She said she’s going to get laughed at and she just wants to fit in & be the same. I’ve tried to be understanding, I’ve said blame it on me, I’ve said they’re not good friends etc.

AIBU to stick to my rule? She’s nearly there but technically still needs a booster until 135cm. I’m just worn down as she’s been crying over this ALL morning🙄

Yabu

She's 1-2cm off. I wouldn't be making this a hill to die on.

Sorry but I think you’re being unreasonable too. She’s nine and only just short of 135cm. She’d also be embarrassed if none of the others have one.

You are being massively unreasonable

Depends how far under 134 she is. But I couldn’t give in to the hysteria, I don’t think it’s productive. I’d be telling her she can’t go at all unless she can sit down and have a reasonable discussion and then I’d be open to letting her go without the seat if she does that.
It’s also up to the parent driving whether they want to take her without the seat.

What are they travelling in if there are 8 kids? A car or a minibus? Boosters aren’t required in minibuses. If it is a car I would leave it up to the driver.

She's 9 and a few cm off and you're insisting she uses a booster seat what a ridiculous thing to be so fixated on.

Are the other children not using one because they’re taller? Because it might not be up to OP to say her DD doesn’t have to use one - it’s the driver of the car who’d get the fine/penalty points (I appreciate that’s unlikely, but it is still the driver who could insist she uses one).

I wouldn’t be bothered about this as a one off. My DS is 140cm but still has a booster in our cars as he actually prefers to be higher up and see out the windows properly, and says it’s more comfortable, but he finds it embarrassing around his friends as most kids do at that age. Depending on the seat it may also be difficult to fit all the kids in the back if you insist on her taking it.

I’m with you, mine used them until 12 as still under 150cm (most of Europe is 150cm for good reason)

Your poor daughter.
Why would you willingly do this to her?

Wow. I mean no one wants to put their kid at risk but 1cm???
it really also depends on the build - is the height in the torso or the legs. My DD has very long legs for example.
just let her go.

Half in dads car & half in mums car

Are the other parents happy for your daughter to travel in their car without a booster seat, knowing she's slightly under the legal requirement to go without?! You're not driving, it's not your car and it's not your insurance! You need to check with them. For all you know, they might not be happy if they found out you'd allowed them to take your daughter, when if there were to be an accident, they'd be liable. I do understand how your daughter feels, she doesn't want to be seen as a 'baby' and wants to fit in.

YABU... just let her go without one for the sake of 1cm

You will make your child a target of piss taking for the sake of a centimetre.

Because I want her to be safe on a long journey in the rain the morning after a lot of Xmas parties where people have been very pissed

It’s up to the driver - offer one for the driver to use but do not force it on your daughter. Having learnt the hard way not to humiliate my dc over things that I thought were reasonable but to them were crushingly embarrassing to them and their friends. Been there and got the social anxiety tshirt years on.

The tantrum wouldn’t impress me at this age, but, she’s 9 and it’s a huge thing to fit in. Discipline the tantrum later but let her go without the booster seat she’s not far off the height

For this I would attempt to unclench.

If it's a relatively short journey and I trusted the driver (professional driver? minibus?) then I would not insist on this, especially for the sake of 1 and a half centimetres off. She will be humiliated and potentially set up to be bullied on the day and afterwards.

My 9 year old DD is only 126cm tall and she has a booster seat. On a five minute local journey, fine but on a one hour trip using major roads, no way.

I am a booster seat witch and have made mine use them until 153cm (y5). But I’d still let her off on this occasion. Not least because it makes the other 2 kids in the back really squeezed.

Thanks all, I really don’t want her to feel upset and conscious having kids call her a baby but if anything happened, I would have to live with that and I just like to stick to rules. Safety first🤣

I have taken it on board and will let her not have the booster seat and have a chat with her tomorrow about how she’s speaking to me!