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Original poster

Family Christmas Issue

644 replies

ChristmasIssue · 06/12/2025 02:55

We are staying at home for Xmas this year as we got a dog back in April, don’t have anyone to have him and don’t want to leave him anyway.

As we wouldn’t be visiting anyone, back in September, we said to our family that everyone is welcome to come to us if they would like but we understand if people want to do other things or stay at home themselves.

8 relatives have chosen to come to us, including my cousin with 2 children aged 7 and 2. Everyone coming is aware we have a new dog and that he was our reason for staying home for Xmas.

Now we are less than 3 weeks til Xmas and my cousin has said that she isn’t happy with her children being around our dog and asked us what we plan to do. I was a bit annoyed as we had been clear about everything but I’ve said the dog will be here, although I’m happy to keep the dog out of one room all the time and in another room whilst we eat dinner. My cousin has said this isn’t good enough, that her children should be able to move around the house as they wish without worrying about our dog. She is suggesting kennels or that our dog stays outside or is made to stay in one room. Our dog is small, very clam etc, so no trouble but I do understand that dogs aren’t for everyone.

Another relative has waded in and is asking if our dog can go elsewhere for the time they are all visiting, which is 3 days in total. I’ve said no, that won’t be happening. Now cousin and this other relative are trying to involve more relatives and get them to say they are not happy with the dog being here. I’ve ignored their texts and calls today. The texts are saying that cousin and her children will no longer be able to come if the dog stays, that I’m cruel to prioritise our dog over a child and that it’s too late for them to go anywhere else so I’m making her spend it alone as a single mum. The other relative is also now saying she is allergic to dogs so I would be making her Xmas difficult. There was no mention of this previously and she agreed to come knowing we had a dog.

Tomorrow I plan to text to say that if they no longer want to come, that’s a shame, but I understand and that if anyone else feels the same, to let me know due to food and drinks order.

My partner and kids (older) have said that next year we are staying home and no one is invited!

What do you think of the whole situation and do you think I’ve been fair? I really wish I hadn’t bothered inviting anyone.

OP posts:
NoisyViewer · 06/12/2025 18:27

ChristmasIssue · 06/12/2025 02:55

We are staying at home for Xmas this year as we got a dog back in April, don’t have anyone to have him and don’t want to leave him anyway.

As we wouldn’t be visiting anyone, back in September, we said to our family that everyone is welcome to come to us if they would like but we understand if people want to do other things or stay at home themselves.

8 relatives have chosen to come to us, including my cousin with 2 children aged 7 and 2. Everyone coming is aware we have a new dog and that he was our reason for staying home for Xmas.

Now we are less than 3 weeks til Xmas and my cousin has said that she isn’t happy with her children being around our dog and asked us what we plan to do. I was a bit annoyed as we had been clear about everything but I’ve said the dog will be here, although I’m happy to keep the dog out of one room all the time and in another room whilst we eat dinner. My cousin has said this isn’t good enough, that her children should be able to move around the house as they wish without worrying about our dog. She is suggesting kennels or that our dog stays outside or is made to stay in one room. Our dog is small, very clam etc, so no trouble but I do understand that dogs aren’t for everyone.

Another relative has waded in and is asking if our dog can go elsewhere for the time they are all visiting, which is 3 days in total. I’ve said no, that won’t be happening. Now cousin and this other relative are trying to involve more relatives and get them to say they are not happy with the dog being here. I’ve ignored their texts and calls today. The texts are saying that cousin and her children will no longer be able to come if the dog stays, that I’m cruel to prioritise our dog over a child and that it’s too late for them to go anywhere else so I’m making her spend it alone as a single mum. The other relative is also now saying she is allergic to dogs so I would be making her Xmas difficult. There was no mention of this previously and she agreed to come knowing we had a dog.

Tomorrow I plan to text to say that if they no longer want to come, that’s a shame, but I understand and that if anyone else feels the same, to let me know due to food and drinks order.

My partner and kids (older) have said that next year we are staying home and no one is invited!

What do you think of the whole situation and do you think I’ve been fair? I really wish I hadn’t bothered inviting anyone.

nope just reiterate that you made it perfectly clear the dog was staying

GreenFrogYellow · 06/12/2025 18:27

thepariscrimefiles · 06/12/2025 03:28

I would actually uninvite these ridiculous people. Tell them that they knew when they accepted the invitation that you had made Christmas plans based on your dog being at home with you and you have no intention of either putting the dog in kennels or confining the dog to another room so it would be best if they made other arrangements.

This. Cheeky fuckers.

raspberrieswithchocolate · 06/12/2025 18:28

Mydoglovescheese · 06/12/2025 17:38

OP I think that if your cousin and children come, when they are there you will be put under pressure to comply with her wishes about keeping the dog away from her children.

I would be worried about this as well, if she agrees to visit she might make your Christmas stressful by complaining about the dog all the time.

I hope your little dog enjoys his first Christmas with you, there's great excitement in this house on Christmas morning because my little dog is as excited as any toddler about opening presents, I'm sure your little dog will have great fun too! He's now family and deserves to be comfortable and happy in his new home.

Have you heard from the complainers yet?

House12 · 06/12/2025 18:32

Terrifictiger · 06/12/2025 15:31

It’s not obsessive. I just dislike them so would much prefer not to be around them.

Show quote history

She didn’t invite you, so chill.

LighthouseLED · 06/12/2025 18:32

Terrifictiger · 06/12/2025 06:25

How anyone can prioritise an animal over a child is beyond me but some people do.

The relatives have dodged a bullet here and can now enjoy their Christmas.

Show quote history

They are not prioritising an animal over a child. They are just refusing to allow other people to dictate what happens in their own home.

Don’t want to be around dogs? Don’t accept an invite to a house where dogs live. It’s not rocket science.

LighthouseLED · 06/12/2025 18:36

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 06/12/2025 15:25

What that none dog people are weird and manipulative, yes she has hasn’t she.
Weird and manipulative.

Show quote history

TBF most non-dog people have agreed that the family are being ridiculous and the OP is perfectly reasonable to allow her own dog in her own house. This really isn’t a dog people vs non-dog people thing; it’s one slightly strange poster.

RedToothBrush · 06/12/2025 18:40

You said "We have a dog. We are staying home for Christmas because of new dog. But you are welcome to come and visit"

They said yes, but then go "oh but only if you ditch the dog, you are staying home for"

Na, fuck em. You were clear and up front.

Thats their problem to resolve. Invitation as originally issued for reasons previously stated. Their call on what they do, but they need to confirm this week either way.

You are 100% reasonable.

Overtheatlantic · 06/12/2025 18:45

It’s the dog’s home. They can jog on.

MyRubyFox · 06/12/2025 18:51

You made it clear from the outset what the deal was. Stick to your guns.

Ladymeade · 06/12/2025 18:54

DeftGoldHedgehog · 06/12/2025 02:58

Tell them to get lost unless they can get on with your dog, absolute cheeky twats.

Nailed it 👍

Yourlifeinyourhands · 06/12/2025 18:58

ChristmasIssue · 06/12/2025 06:25

Thats fine and I understand your choice. My cousin accepted the invitation with her children, knowing that we had a dog though. We had said we didn’t want to leave him and had no one to look after him, so she knew he would be here. The other relative who is apparently allergic to dogs, also knew this when she accepted the invitation. If they had said no at the time, I would have been fine with that. I feel like they have left it late to try to guilt and force us into changing our plan.

Show quote history

@Terrifictiger why so OTT about dogs?

TheCoralDeer · 06/12/2025 19:00

ChristmasIssue · 06/12/2025 02:55

We are staying at home for Xmas this year as we got a dog back in April, don’t have anyone to have him and don’t want to leave him anyway.

As we wouldn’t be visiting anyone, back in September, we said to our family that everyone is welcome to come to us if they would like but we understand if people want to do other things or stay at home themselves.

8 relatives have chosen to come to us, including my cousin with 2 children aged 7 and 2. Everyone coming is aware we have a new dog and that he was our reason for staying home for Xmas.

Now we are less than 3 weeks til Xmas and my cousin has said that she isn’t happy with her children being around our dog and asked us what we plan to do. I was a bit annoyed as we had been clear about everything but I’ve said the dog will be here, although I’m happy to keep the dog out of one room all the time and in another room whilst we eat dinner. My cousin has said this isn’t good enough, that her children should be able to move around the house as they wish without worrying about our dog. She is suggesting kennels or that our dog stays outside or is made to stay in one room. Our dog is small, very clam etc, so no trouble but I do understand that dogs aren’t for everyone.

Another relative has waded in and is asking if our dog can go elsewhere for the time they are all visiting, which is 3 days in total. I’ve said no, that won’t be happening. Now cousin and this other relative are trying to involve more relatives and get them to say they are not happy with the dog being here. I’ve ignored their texts and calls today. The texts are saying that cousin and her children will no longer be able to come if the dog stays, that I’m cruel to prioritise our dog over a child and that it’s too late for them to go anywhere else so I’m making her spend it alone as a single mum. The other relative is also now saying she is allergic to dogs so I would be making her Xmas difficult. There was no mention of this previously and she agreed to come knowing we had a dog.

Tomorrow I plan to text to say that if they no longer want to come, that’s a shame, but I understand and that if anyone else feels the same, to let me know due to food and drinks order.

My partner and kids (older) have said that next year we are staying home and no one is invited!

What do you think of the whole situation and do you think I’ve been fair? I really wish I hadn’t bothered inviting anyone.

Well, at least that's about 4/5 less to cater for.....your house, your rules, they knew about him before they decided to come & they don't get to make these kind of demands.

Gonners · 06/12/2025 19:00

OP, have a lovely Christmas, minus the entitled loons. And make sure to get one of your kids to photoshop a picture of your lovely dog sitting at the table, wearing a bib and staring at the turkey, for next year's family Christmas card.

DilemmaDelilah · 06/12/2025 19:00

I'm not a dog person myself, but if I were you I would send a message round to everybody to say the reason you are staying at home for Christmas this year is because you now have a dog you do not want to leave or put in kennels. Therefore the dog will be with you over the entire Christmas period and you will quite understand if they don't want to send Christmas with you and your dog.

Then it's up to them to let you know if they won't be coming, or whether they want to come (and put up with the dog) anyway.

Nevernonono · 06/12/2025 19:02

DilemmaDelilah · 06/12/2025 19:00

I'm not a dog person myself, but if I were you I would send a message round to everybody to say the reason you are staying at home for Christmas this year is because you now have a dog you do not want to leave or put in kennels. Therefore the dog will be with you over the entire Christmas period and you will quite understand if they don't want to send Christmas with you and your dog.

Then it's up to them to let you know if they won't be coming, or whether they want to come (and put up with the dog) anyway.

🤦‍♀️

Pistachiocake · 06/12/2025 19:17

I'd find it hard to believe, except for the fact I know a new employee complained about a coworker's guide dog being in the office.
These are the kind of people who are going to get their kids scared of dogs, and then complain they can't go to places where there are dogs because their children are afraid of them.
One of my best friends has a fear of dogs, but has always encouraged her son to be around them, and has worked on her fear.
Some people don't like children (which is fine) but would she send hers out if guests asked? No, because she chose to make children part of her household, just as you have with dogs!

knor · 06/12/2025 19:22

While I understand not wanting a dog around a toddler (I feel similar as in, feel I can’t relax as have to watch and manage at all times) I do not understand how they’re trying to dictate in your house!
I would politely say “the dog is staying so either adapt or don’t come.”

loobylou815 · 06/12/2025 19:34

Terrifictiger · 06/12/2025 05:33

I would never take my DC to a house with a dog or allow a dog into my home for that matter.

It is of course your choice to have a dog there but get used to a lot of cancellations in your social diary because a lot of people won’t put up with them for good reason.

Are you okay @Terrifictiger?? The OP has a dog not a bloody tiger!!! And it’s a small dog at that!

Buffs · 06/12/2025 19:41

They sound ridiculously entitled and a little unpleasant. I would reiterate that the whole point of hosting was not to leave the dog (as you have explained here) and to let you know in these circumstances if they wish to attend. Then I’d hope that the entitled demanding lot of them don’t come!

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 06/12/2025 19:44

LighthouseLED · 06/12/2025 18:36

TBF most non-dog people have agreed that the family are being ridiculous and the OP is perfectly reasonable to allow her own dog in her own house. This really isn’t a dog people vs non-dog people thing; it’s one slightly strange poster.

Show quote history

Agreed

Evaka · 06/12/2025 19:46

Oh my god, are they for real

Julimia · 06/12/2025 20:37

Stop allowing yourself (and dog) to be manipulated. You've said it as it is and if now they don't like it they can stay away. End of!

B33cka8 · 06/12/2025 21:36

ChristmasIssue · 06/12/2025 02:55

We are staying at home for Xmas this year as we got a dog back in April, don’t have anyone to have him and don’t want to leave him anyway.

As we wouldn’t be visiting anyone, back in September, we said to our family that everyone is welcome to come to us if they would like but we understand if people want to do other things or stay at home themselves.

8 relatives have chosen to come to us, including my cousin with 2 children aged 7 and 2. Everyone coming is aware we have a new dog and that he was our reason for staying home for Xmas.

Now we are less than 3 weeks til Xmas and my cousin has said that she isn’t happy with her children being around our dog and asked us what we plan to do. I was a bit annoyed as we had been clear about everything but I’ve said the dog will be here, although I’m happy to keep the dog out of one room all the time and in another room whilst we eat dinner. My cousin has said this isn’t good enough, that her children should be able to move around the house as they wish without worrying about our dog. She is suggesting kennels or that our dog stays outside or is made to stay in one room. Our dog is small, very clam etc, so no trouble but I do understand that dogs aren’t for everyone.

Another relative has waded in and is asking if our dog can go elsewhere for the time they are all visiting, which is 3 days in total. I’ve said no, that won’t be happening. Now cousin and this other relative are trying to involve more relatives and get them to say they are not happy with the dog being here. I’ve ignored their texts and calls today. The texts are saying that cousin and her children will no longer be able to come if the dog stays, that I’m cruel to prioritise our dog over a child and that it’s too late for them to go anywhere else so I’m making her spend it alone as a single mum. The other relative is also now saying she is allergic to dogs so I would be making her Xmas difficult. There was no mention of this previously and she agreed to come knowing we had a dog.

Tomorrow I plan to text to say that if they no longer want to come, that’s a shame, but I understand and that if anyone else feels the same, to let me know due to food and drinks order.

My partner and kids (older) have said that next year we are staying home and no one is invited!

What do you think of the whole situation and do you think I’ve been fair? I really wish I hadn’t bothered inviting anyone.

You cousin is welcome not to come. Why is she making demands as a guest?! Absolutely not! This isn't a negotiation. Dog is here, dog is not a prisoner in its own home. Highly annoyed for you. I'd tell her not to come then.

Ohnobackagain · 06/12/2025 21:42

OMG @ChristmasIssue the reason you are staying home is - to be with your dog, as is your right. You have not tried to force your dog on anyone else. You would happily stay home with your dog because people may not want you to bring it. I don’t go to family’s house because I am allergic. I don’t hold it against them? I have invited them to ours but if they turn down the invite - no hard feelings.

You are not being unreasonable - they can stay away or join you - but your house, your rules!

cotswoldsgal1234 · 06/12/2025 22:05

Your house. They are being entitled and should stay away. I am not a dog person, but would never ever lay rules down for the hosts. They can stay at home, dog free.