Family Christmas Issue

[ChristmasIssue]

We are staying at home for Xmas this year as we got a dog back in April, don’t have anyone to have him and don’t want to leave him anyway.

As we wouldn’t be visiting anyone, back in September, we said to our family that everyone is welcome to come to us if they would like but we understand if people want to do other things or stay at home themselves.

8 relatives have chosen to come to us, including my cousin with 2 children aged 7 and 2. Everyone coming is aware we have a new dog and that he was our reason for staying home for Xmas.

Now we are less than 3 weeks til Xmas and my cousin has said that she isn’t happy with her children being around our dog and asked us what we plan to do. I was a bit annoyed as we had been clear about everything but I’ve said the dog will be here, although I’m happy to keep the dog out of one room all the time and in another room whilst we eat dinner. My cousin has said this isn’t good enough, that her children should be able to move around the house as they wish without worrying about our dog. She is suggesting kennels or that our dog stays outside or is made to stay in one room. Our dog is small, very clam etc, so no trouble but I do understand that dogs aren’t for everyone.

Another relative has waded in and is asking if our dog can go elsewhere for the time they are all visiting, which is 3 days in total. I’ve said no, that won’t be happening. Now cousin and this other relative are trying to involve more relatives and get them to say they are not happy with the dog being here. I’ve ignored their texts and calls today. The texts are saying that cousin and her children will no longer be able to come if the dog stays, that I’m cruel to prioritise our dog over a child and that it’s too late for them to go anywhere else so I’m making her spend it alone as a single mum. The other relative is also now saying she is allergic to dogs so I would be making her Xmas difficult. There was no mention of this previously and she agreed to come knowing we had a dog.

Tomorrow I plan to text to say that if they no longer want to come, that’s a shame, but I understand and that if anyone else feels the same, to let me know due to food and drinks order.

My partner and kids (older) have said that next year we are staying home and no one is invited!

What do you think of the whole situation and do you think I’ve been fair? I really wish I hadn’t bothered inviting anyone.

Your house, your rules.
Im never keen to have a dog in my house but am perfectly happy to visit someone else’s house who has a dog. As long as it’s not snapping as ankles, pinching food off the table or barking excessively, no issues surely!

It what about all the making up stories to suit your narrative, telling OP ahead of time won’t have visitors, because you dislike dogs, I mean that’s just crazy!!

Barking mad in fact!

The dog lives there, the child doesn’t. The child’s mother accepted the invitation with full knowledge there is a dog in the household and is now attempting to twist a situation she was fully aware of, and play the victim. Absolutely ridiculous, and unreasonable. OP, just cancel & enjoy a lovely peaceful Christmas with your husband, kids, and dog.

You sound similar to me. I just know I would be feeling physically sick with anxiety about this and I completely understand the temptation to call your cousin or sent multiple texts etc.

But I would leave it for now. You've put it out there. You've given her the choice and it's up to her now what to do with it. Remember that and just get on with it, regardless of what her choice is. Don't take on the burden of guessing at people's motives and then trying to work around them.

If she decides not to come, that's fine and her choice. It's got nothing to do with you. You've kindly offered to host. If she doesn't want to take you up on the offer then so be it.

But you’ve got it all wrong….

they accepted the invite, then want OP to make other arrangements for the dog!

Read slowly the OP and then comment based on the actual situation, not a made up scenario!

Your post itself is ‘utterly’ nothing to do with the thread, since you’ve not understood the circumstances. OP made everyone aware that they were not visiting because of the dog. The invitation made it clear that the dog would be at home. If the relatives didn’t want to be around the dog, they shouldn’t have accepted the invitation. As it is, they accepted it and then tried to make OP’s life uncomfortable because of it.

So read and understand that the invitation makes it clear the dog will be at home. If you don’t like that then decline the invitation. Don’t accept and then try to make OP shut the dog away in its’ own home.

They can all get together in one of their houses.

Simples

Perhaps you have misunderstood. OP's relatives knew about the dog weeks ago. They knew OP was staying at home because of the dog. They've now decided they are more important than the dog and should dictate where the dog is or is not allowed to be.
Op's relatives are entitled loons.

OP I think that if your cousin and children come, when they are there you will be put under pressure to comply with her wishes about keeping the dog away from her children.

You sound obsessive tbf. Stuff about cancelled engagements because of a small, harmless, nearly toothless dog. Bit OTT.

I remember when my children were around the ages of her children and I felt quite stressed at times and I had a partner and other people close by to help out.

Yes me too. I would have been very stressed about trying to take two kids those ages to someone else's house on my own. Also I was probably just generally unreasonable at that time due to lack of sleep.

I hope she comes round and you can sort it out with her!

I think Terrifictiger has spent the afternoon in the pub enjoying the festivities.

The PP who said they were barking mad made me laugh, I think just because the OP is in the doghouse she shouldn’t let sleeping dogs lie because her relatives clearly have barks worse than their bite. This whole situation is a right dogs dinner, and the OP must be dog tired of it all. I bet Terrifictiger will need some hair of the dog tomorrow.

It's probably better if the cousin and "allergic relative" don't come anyway now as other people might not play along so nicely. I know in my extended family that there would be some pretty pointed comments directed at them for complaining about the dogs presence (in its own home). I think that's why having said what they've said, I would have retracted their invitations to save further awkwardness.

Why? What do you think is going to happen?

Cheeky F%^kers the dog stays if you dont like it Cook your own turkey
good on you enjoy lots of waggy tails xxx

Tell them that the dog is a member of the family and will be celebrating Christmas with everyone else. Tell them they are more than welcome to find somewhere else to spend Christmas, there are two and a half weeks to go yet and plenty of turkeys in the shops if they choose to stay at home.

well done for messaging, hopefully they will just cancel

Strewth. Get another dog. Get several, spare yourself any future visits from these absolute blisters.

Omg!!! How dare they?!!! Who do they think they are? You could not have made your plan plainer and now they start this??? Id tell them where to go!

Well I reckon you should just enjoy a nice Christmas without them!
Do make sure you send them a festive photo of yourself with your dog though as they sit at home enjoying a Christmas by themselves.

I think you should be a lot more precious about your own Christmas with your children.
Do you really want all these difficult people in your home, causing stress about your family pet?

I am actually furious on your behalf. The entitlement!

I'm assuming they all knew you had a dog and still agreed to accept your generous invite of hosting Xmas. It's your home and your dog is part of your family - why on God's green earth would you lock him in a room so her kids can spouch around your entire house? Or why does she expect you to go to the expensive of putting YOUR dog in a kennel for HER kids.

Why doesn't she want a dog around her kids anyway? You know what, that doesn't even matter. If she doesn't want her kids around the dog she knew you had then the solution is very simple - she doesn't come to your house.

I can’t actually believe anyone is this unreasonable! Let alone this number of people. You’ve been very welcoming. Send that text tomorrow 100%

Please tell them to bugger off.

Your house, your rules.

They're free not to like dogs and pay for and cook their own lunch x