Family Christmas Issue

[ChristmasIssue]

We are staying at home for Xmas this year as we got a dog back in April, don’t have anyone to have him and don’t want to leave him anyway.

As we wouldn’t be visiting anyone, back in September, we said to our family that everyone is welcome to come to us if they would like but we understand if people want to do other things or stay at home themselves.

8 relatives have chosen to come to us, including my cousin with 2 children aged 7 and 2. Everyone coming is aware we have a new dog and that he was our reason for staying home for Xmas.

Now we are less than 3 weeks til Xmas and my cousin has said that she isn’t happy with her children being around our dog and asked us what we plan to do. I was a bit annoyed as we had been clear about everything but I’ve said the dog will be here, although I’m happy to keep the dog out of one room all the time and in another room whilst we eat dinner. My cousin has said this isn’t good enough, that her children should be able to move around the house as they wish without worrying about our dog. She is suggesting kennels or that our dog stays outside or is made to stay in one room. Our dog is small, very clam etc, so no trouble but I do understand that dogs aren’t for everyone.

Another relative has waded in and is asking if our dog can go elsewhere for the time they are all visiting, which is 3 days in total. I’ve said no, that won’t be happening. Now cousin and this other relative are trying to involve more relatives and get them to say they are not happy with the dog being here. I’ve ignored their texts and calls today. The texts are saying that cousin and her children will no longer be able to come if the dog stays, that I’m cruel to prioritise our dog over a child and that it’s too late for them to go anywhere else so I’m making her spend it alone as a single mum. The other relative is also now saying she is allergic to dogs so I would be making her Xmas difficult. There was no mention of this previously and she agreed to come knowing we had a dog.

Tomorrow I plan to text to say that if they no longer want to come, that’s a shame, but I understand and that if anyone else feels the same, to let me know due to food and drinks order.

My partner and kids (older) have said that next year we are staying home and no one is invited!

What do you think of the whole situation and do you think I’ve been fair? I really wish I hadn’t bothered inviting anyone.

It’s not obsessive. I just dislike them so would much prefer not to be around them.

You have done the right thing OP. It seems like a them problem, not a you problem.
You have a family pet, they knew this when the invite went out, they should have mentioned any hang ups about the arrangement then or simply declined the invite.
I assume they knew the reason on why you were inviting them to yours, is because you didn’t want to be anywhere without the dog?

It just seems a bit entitled on their behalf. Dogs are not for everyone, but you have offered to put the dog in other rooms and that is accommodating enough. It is a solution. If it isn’t enough of a solution to them, then I’d be shrugging my shoulders and saying “sorry, it was take it or leave it”

Personally, I class my dog as an immediate family member. This is my dogs home as much as it is mine and my children’s. Extended family are guests….

OP I'm usually quite a polite person, but I'd tell them to fuck off to somewhere where there are no dogs then. It's not like you were keeping your Ddog a secret!

You just “dislike” them?

You don’t think they should be part of normal civilisation?

You’re so obsessed in this thread you are making ip
mad scenarios, like the relatives thought that she’d make “make” suitable arrangements for the dog!

When it was clear to 99% of the people on this thread what the actual situation was.

If that’s a dislike of something, then fuck me if you really hate something god help them.

As other’s have said though, thanks for the laughs.

Well at least it's straightforward what you need to do.
Repeat that the dog will be present at all times and that you are sorry not to be seeing some of your family this year.

I would not want a dog in my house but this is your home and your choice. If they choose to come for Christmas they will have to fit in with your home and its routines.

Hmm, tough one. I have come on MN to make a post about my own Christmas issues, but got distracted as usual.

I am having lots of people over this Christmas and I will have to put my dog outside and in another room as he gets stressed out around people and I can't be sure someone might get a nip. My kids will hate this, but what can I do?

People act weird at Christmas. They seem to get very angry if they are not invited or don't have their needs catered for. They get tunnel vision and seem unable to see the massive effort and inconvenience to the host.

I always write myself notes for the next year. Last years said don't invite anyone over for 2025. Turns out, due to circumstances beyond my control, that I will be having more guests coming in and out of my house than ever before. Also, the people who are coming will no doubt moan that there are too many people around.

DH and I are already planning our next Christmas away on holiday with our DC.

Personally I would put the dog out the room and I'd tell my relatives that next year you are not hosting.

You invited them, they don't like your dog, they chose not to come based on that... not on you.

Its an invite not a summons, just tell them 'sorry you'll be missed' and thats that.

RTFTFFS

I feel so sorry for you OP. What nutty relatives you seem to have. In 12 years of owning a dog, I have never ever had someone decline an invite to my home because of the presence of a (small) dog. Never once!

Forget all about it now and enjoy your Christmas. I suggest buying you dog a lovely Christmas sweater if it doesn't already have one.

By the way, I don't for a minute believe @Terrifictiger is for real - just a wind-up.

Anyone that has an issue being around the dog, or has gobbed off about it is uninvited.. simple. I wouldn't want to spend the day with them anyway after all that

'expect cancellations because a lot of people wont put up with them'

Nope, wildly wrong. 36% of households personally own a dog (that doesn't account for ones that previously did) thats over 13.5 MILLION dogs and more than half the remaining do not 'hate' dogs so much they change their lifestyle and go drastically out of their way to avoid them. Most people are either animal lovers or simply 'indifferent' to other peoples pets. What you are describing behavior wise is a phobia of dogs.

If your scared of dogs that is fine, some people are same way people are scared of spiders etc... yes it can be horrible to live in fear of something and people can't just 'snap out of it' like they can't just magically fix any MH thought process but usually they are aware enough to know its an issue having an effect on their life (in this case missing out on family) and not just try to pass it off as 'everyone else also feels this way so I'm right and everyone else is wrong'.

They'll all be making their own plans for Christmas then. What a bunch of cockwombles they are!

Personally I would go even harder in my response.

Dear all. We decided this year to stay at home specifically because we now have a family dog. We invited any family members who wanted to join us to do so, as we were not going elsewhere due to now having our dog. It would have (or should have) been abundantly clear to everyone accepting our invitation that in doing so, they were agreeing to come to a house where there would be a dog. To now attempt to place demands on us about where our dog should be/what we should do with our dog is wholly unreasonable. You knew what you were signing up to - and if you say that you didn't you are either being disingenuous or showing yourself to not have applied much thought to the scenario. We will not be guilted into changing our plans. We are not responsible for your decisions and you are not in a position to dictate what someone else does in their home. We are under no obligation to host you. We are still more than happy to do so, and would love to have you here, but our family dog will be here in its home as normal while you are. If you do not want to come as a result of this, which should not be news as no plans of ours have changed, please do let us know by (insert date) because otherwise we will have catered for you and incurred costs.

You are not the keep of the thread or the authority on who can post or what they can say... stop wasting comments on utterly nothing to do with the thread since it bothers you so much.

Nor are you and if you post nonsense that you would have known was exactly that had you read the thread, I will tell you to read it!

I think they either come and accept the dog or lump it. It’s your house and you shouldn’t have to accommodate their nonsense

Id have a 'that's a shame you can't make it, I hope you have a lovely Christmas and look forward to seeing you another time' message saved in my phone and forward it to anyone threatening not to come.
On what planet do people think it's okay for kids to freely roam around someone's house?! When other kids come here they do not roam around as they please ,there are room that are out of bounds that I would not expect them to venture into. How rude

Well done OP for getting a little rescue! I'll bet he brings you all a lot of love & laughter, hope he enjoys the rest of his Advent calendar!

I would tell them all to fuck off.

We often get invited because of our lovely dog. Animal haters are the worst type of humans.

I'd be tempted!

I guess the ones not making a fuss shouldn't have to be uninvited because others are either entitled, selfish or stupid.

"Come to our house where we will be because we now have a dog & want to be with the dog."

"Ooh, can you stick it outside/in kennels/in another room for the duration?"

You must have money, as I cannot imagine anyone tolerating you otherwise.

What place do you have in civilised society?

How overdramatic is that... ridiculous!

A classic example of the pot calling the kettle black here.

It’s not obsessive. I just dislike them so would much prefer not to be around them.

Your melodramatic replies would indicate otherwise. Did you join this thread to see how much you could wind people up or do you really obsessively and unhealthily hate dogs this much?

@ChristmasIssue you sound lovely. I hope the unreasonable relatives don't spoil your Christmas, and if they try to put the blame on you for spoiling their Christmas plese remember they did it to themselves.

Exactly. If you have a severe aversion to dogs you avoid accepting invitations to locations in which a dog will inevitably be present. That includes the homes of friends & family.

You don't accept the invitation and then kick up a fuss about the dog weeks later.