Family Christmas Issue

[ChristmasIssue]

We are staying at home for Xmas this year as we got a dog back in April, don’t have anyone to have him and don’t want to leave him anyway.

As we wouldn’t be visiting anyone, back in September, we said to our family that everyone is welcome to come to us if they would like but we understand if people want to do other things or stay at home themselves.

8 relatives have chosen to come to us, including my cousin with 2 children aged 7 and 2. Everyone coming is aware we have a new dog and that he was our reason for staying home for Xmas.

Now we are less than 3 weeks til Xmas and my cousin has said that she isn’t happy with her children being around our dog and asked us what we plan to do. I was a bit annoyed as we had been clear about everything but I’ve said the dog will be here, although I’m happy to keep the dog out of one room all the time and in another room whilst we eat dinner. My cousin has said this isn’t good enough, that her children should be able to move around the house as they wish without worrying about our dog. She is suggesting kennels or that our dog stays outside or is made to stay in one room. Our dog is small, very clam etc, so no trouble but I do understand that dogs aren’t for everyone.

Another relative has waded in and is asking if our dog can go elsewhere for the time they are all visiting, which is 3 days in total. I’ve said no, that won’t be happening. Now cousin and this other relative are trying to involve more relatives and get them to say they are not happy with the dog being here. I’ve ignored their texts and calls today. The texts are saying that cousin and her children will no longer be able to come if the dog stays, that I’m cruel to prioritise our dog over a child and that it’s too late for them to go anywhere else so I’m making her spend it alone as a single mum. The other relative is also now saying she is allergic to dogs so I would be making her Xmas difficult. There was no mention of this previously and she agreed to come knowing we had a dog.

Tomorrow I plan to text to say that if they no longer want to come, that’s a shame, but I understand and that if anyone else feels the same, to let me know due to food and drinks order.

My partner and kids (older) have said that next year we are staying home and no one is invited!

What do you think of the whole situation and do you think I’ve been fair? I really wish I hadn’t bothered inviting anyone.

Ohhhh! Whoops 🤭

Wow!

I'm not a dog person but this is ridiculous, it's your home and you sound like you've been really generous already.

Er - you do know they mean polystyrene packing peanuts ?!

Based on the posts up to now, neither !! My dog is a lot more civilised, and sociable by the sounds of things.

They are ludicrous
You don't accept an invite to someone's home then expect them to turf out their dog.

🤣

Er. No I didn't! But as of 10:59 I do now 😄

Tell them ALL to Fuck off!

.

FWIW, I think you've done exactly the right thing, OP. You've thought it all through, including consulting us Wise Women of Mumsnet, and stuck to your guns. You've been reasonable throughout, as far as I can see.

Merry Christmas!

Your relatives are nuts. I'm glad you've stood firm and told them. Fair enough that some people are not keen on dogs but the obvious solution is that they don't accept the invitation in the first place.

Sorry but you've been saddled with a family of selfish twats.

Maybe you should have waited until later in the day instead of making daft remarks in your sleep? You’ve blatantly missunderstood or misread OP’s opening post.
Or you’re imitating the potential guests who didn’t make sure to understand the invitation they’d received!

Well done op. Please let us know what the reply is!

Cannot wait for your children to grow up, get their own minds and properties and get a dog.

Telling their friends and partners, god my mum was batshit crazy about dogs not having a place in civilised society. How mad and wrong was she, but I’m not unhappy she won’t be joining us for Christmas, because she doesn’t like Fido.

YANBU and I hate dogs! They knew you have a dog and they still agreed to come. They can’t tell you what to do with your own dog in your own home. Poor DDog! DDog is part of the family, dogs are for life as well as for Christmas!

They're wrong for this. I wouldn't wanna be around a dog so I'd decline the invite. It's your dog's home and therefore they come first

I do a bit of selling online and they’re the bane of my life !!

Huh? I don't even like dog and I'm absolutely perplexed by your response. A dog is a very normal family pet, 40% of households in my country have a dog 🤷🏼‍♀️

I am not a dog fan. I quite like people though, even the ones who love their dog. I'm also not a psychopath so wouldn't be cruel or unpleasant to the dog!

In your cousin's shoes, I would have either accepted the invitation as issued (ie with dog in situ) or declined it, back in September! Demanding the dog being removed so close to Christmas is just wierd behaviour.

You are 100% right to prioritize the dog over these relatives. You said clearly you were staying home for the dog!

"Tomorrow I plan to text to say that if they no longer want to come, that’s a shame, but I understand and that if anyone else feels the same, to let me know due to food and drinks order." I would actually say to actively confirm if they will be coming so you can buy food and if you do not near you will assume they are not coming!

"My partner and kids (older) have said that next year we are staying home and no one is invited!" Totally agree.

"What do you think of the whole situation and do you think I’ve been fair? I really wish I hadn’t bothered inviting anyone." I think it just shows how cheeky extended family can be.

I hope you ahve not spent lots of money on food etc.

Very entitled behaviour. I would send a photo of the dog enjoying a big slice of Turkey 😂😂. Their silly behaviour their loss.

Your sense of entitlement is off the scale, again as said I'm my previous comment to you I don't even like dogs but I tolerate them in other people's houses and don't even mind giving them a little pet if they're well behaved (all be it washing my hands asap after) but I would never expect someone to remove their dog unless it was bothersome.
It's definitely a revelation to me that there are many people who wouldn't visit due to a household having dogs, in fact it's unheard of. What country do you live in/what's your nationality because I have found the only people who seem to have an such issue with dogs are those who aren't from Western culture.. where pet dogs are very much the norm.

Thats too nice. Just stand up to family and say xmas isvnow vancelled at your house.
I much prefer to be with my dog than you lot.