Family Christmas Issue

[ChristmasIssue]

We are staying at home for Xmas this year as we got a dog back in April, don’t have anyone to have him and don’t want to leave him anyway.

As we wouldn’t be visiting anyone, back in September, we said to our family that everyone is welcome to come to us if they would like but we understand if people want to do other things or stay at home themselves.

8 relatives have chosen to come to us, including my cousin with 2 children aged 7 and 2. Everyone coming is aware we have a new dog and that he was our reason for staying home for Xmas.

Now we are less than 3 weeks til Xmas and my cousin has said that she isn’t happy with her children being around our dog and asked us what we plan to do. I was a bit annoyed as we had been clear about everything but I’ve said the dog will be here, although I’m happy to keep the dog out of one room all the time and in another room whilst we eat dinner. My cousin has said this isn’t good enough, that her children should be able to move around the house as they wish without worrying about our dog. She is suggesting kennels or that our dog stays outside or is made to stay in one room. Our dog is small, very clam etc, so no trouble but I do understand that dogs aren’t for everyone.

Another relative has waded in and is asking if our dog can go elsewhere for the time they are all visiting, which is 3 days in total. I’ve said no, that won’t be happening. Now cousin and this other relative are trying to involve more relatives and get them to say they are not happy with the dog being here. I’ve ignored their texts and calls today. The texts are saying that cousin and her children will no longer be able to come if the dog stays, that I’m cruel to prioritise our dog over a child and that it’s too late for them to go anywhere else so I’m making her spend it alone as a single mum. The other relative is also now saying she is allergic to dogs so I would be making her Xmas difficult. There was no mention of this previously and she agreed to come knowing we had a dog.

Tomorrow I plan to text to say that if they no longer want to come, that’s a shame, but I understand and that if anyone else feels the same, to let me know due to food and drinks order.

My partner and kids (older) have said that next year we are staying home and no one is invited!

What do you think of the whole situation and do you think I’ve been fair? I really wish I hadn’t bothered inviting anyone.

Stop being such a martyr op. If your cousin was that nice a person then she wouldn’t have even suggest you turf out a member of your family. She knew about the dog, no excuses. Sounds like she left it to the end to put you in a position to send your dog away.

which is why you and your DC need to stay at home

Dangerous dog enabler no doubt.

@Terrifictiger is just rage baiting at this point. Best ignore them.

Agree best to ignore@Terrifictiger. Sounds like a joyless human being.

Merely pointing out the gross selfishness of many dog owners. They are a blight on society.

Yanbu op as you know! It does sound like it would be extremely unrelaxing if cousin did still come. Also re relative with allergy. My dp and ds1 are allergic to cats and have had really awful reactions around them in the past.This is why they do not stay in houses where people have cats. So I cannot understand your relative with allergy deciding to visit.
I read that you want to be kind to cousin etc as she dosen't get much help. You have been kind but really you can't 'make everything better' Some good suggestions on here re ways to cancel.Good Luck.

Sorry, I don't understand how relatives can choose to visit you.
I don't need to say it would never happen here.

I would resend the original message.
Then reiterate that the dog will not be going anywhere. He's a recent rescue who is now part of your family. The whole reason you're spending Christmas at home this year is to be with him, as already explained in September.
If they've now realised they're allergic, that's no problem to cancel. Same with if they're no longer happy with their children being around him - no hard feelings.
Things don't need to be awkward.
The presents can just be collected or posted , as their expense, as they are the one to cancel.

Op he sounds gorgeous 😍

Nah. You can have an animal and still be a responsible parent who teaches their child how to behave properly around them and towards them. Whether or not you like dogs has sod all to do with OP’s post. She was clear that the dog would be present at Christmas, so maybe take your rage bait somewhere else.

I will change what I wrote earlier. on one premise.

What breed of dog are we talking about ? If it is something considered dangerous around children then frankly I would not have agreed to go in the first place.
If it is a placid breed then my previous post applies.

What do you mean? I'm puzzled by this!

If you had read all the ops posts you would see what sort of dog she has. I advise you go back and have a look.

Why can’t people stay in their own homes at Christmas? Especially when they have family and kids of their own.

I’ve never known Christmas drama like it until I read MN.

There are also non dog owners who make it their life’s work to be a blight on society.😀

They all sound like a bunch of grade A morons.

Again not your problem. She comes to collect or organises someone to do it on her behalf. I assume she would be taking them home on Christmas day anyway so must have transport to accommodate these items.

We’re all waiting with bated breath for your decision !! And maybe read the updates because OP has already specified the type of dog.

I am allergic to dogs (for real) and dislike them. I would not be going to your house.

HOWEVER. You are absolutely in the right here if you've laid your stall out in advance and they are cheeky fuckers of the highest order. If your plans haven't changed then they're bonkers.

Tell them all to fuck off

You can be a responsible parent and a dog owner!

There can be a lot of benefits of raising a child with a dog especially, but also with other pets.

Can she courier them back to hers?? I don’t see this as your issue. She agreed to come and has now changed her mind.

If would be different if OP was bringing her dog to someone elses for christmas, its her home, shes allowed to have a dog, no one has been forced to come!

OP you haven't done anything wrong at all, you were clear ,from the beginning. You do not need to make any accommodations at all. I know you feel guilty but stick to your guns, it is your house, your dog and your boundaries. You've handled everything perfectly well. I hope you don't experience too many issues off the back of this.