If I see any more comments on Mumsnet of it's just a dog

[Lifeneedsaresetagain]

Do people not realise that for those who welcome them into the family they are part of the family. And if you have a dog and say it's just a dog, I'm not sure you should have one.

Plenty of dog owners do, though - see this thread!

Yep.

The threads are almost always an entitled dog owner sulking because their dog isn't invited everywhere with them including peoples houses.

YANBU

"Just a dog" hits really hard when you have just had to say goodbye to one.
My dog is my family. No one has the right to tell me otherwise. Me calling her my family has zero impact on other people.

I have been called weird on here for putting jumpers on my dog. She is a very old and skinny greyhound. She needs a jumper.

My Dsis had just had her dog of almost 17 years PTS. My BiL was all "it will be ok, she is just a dog" in the lead up, but has been absolutely taken aback by how much the grief has hit him. He is utterly devastated. He has taken time off work.

This seams such an odd statement on a website designed for commenting. Maybe take a step back and ask why the way people comment about dogs on an anonymous forum winds you up so much.

Absolutely. I’m disgusted at the amount of people saying YABU. Don’t get a dog unless you welcome it as part of your family.

That's the difference, however.

If I hear that someone's dog has died, then I'll feel sorry for the owner. If I hear that someone has lost a child or another family member, then it's seems tragic to me.

A month or so after my husband died, I got a phone call from his (middle-aged) daughter. She sobbed. "I don't know how to tell you."

My knees gave way. I thought that another family member must have died. It turned out that her brother's very elderly cat had died.

Now, I get that she too had suffered a bereavement and was possibly not in her right mind. I certainly wasn't in mine - the funeral was during lockdown and I left the house on my own for the crematorium and returned to an empty house with no family members to support me.

However, I found myself in the bizarre situation of trying to hold myself together and being expected to phone her brother and to extend condolences on the death of his extremely elderly cat.

I felt obliged to do so and phoned his number. I got his partner, who seemed quite bemused that I'd phoned.

I get that animals are important companions for many people, but there's no comparison between a pet and a human being.

Dogs are animals. People are people. And yes, people matter more. A baby or a child trumps a pet every single time. A person can choose not to have animals in their home or business for any reason.

And yes, it’s desperately sad when you lose a pet, but it is frankly offensive to compare that grief to the loss of a family member. It’s just a dog.

I get it. I grew up with dogs and have always been heartbroken when they've died, and I was just as heartbroken when I lost my dad earlier this year. We took his dog for a walk in their regular park a couple of days later and I could tell he was looking for dad, and that broke my heart too. I believe they're family members. Fair enough, they don't have the same status as kids, but at least with a dog, you'll always get an enthusiastic greeting when you come home! Dogs love their families just as much as their families love them.

but it is JUST a dog !

But it isn’t. It’s a pet. Not the same at all.

Of course, care for it and give it the best life that you can. Our dog had a blissful life, our cats still do. But they’re pets.

Not for their owner, why it is so hard to understand?

People are animals.

A stranger's child will never trump my dog, and why would they? By all means come up with bizarre hypothetical situations in which you can shame me for that. The often trotted out burning building scenario - where are the parents?

In terms of grief, it is a known thing that losing a pet can hurt more than losing a relative. And our pets are family.

To outsiders my dog is "just" a dog but she isn't "just a dog" to me and that's all that really matters to us both. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I don't need other people to understand.

My hamster is like a child to me.

Yes, it is the 'just' that is the problem, it is belittling and sneery. I have children and grandchildren so am well aware of the difference between them and my dogs. I would never take my dogs to visit anyone who didn't like dogs or didn't want them in their home. I do expect people to respect the fact that I love my dogs deeply and not call into question that love because they are 'just' dogs.

Short version of a tale that I've told elsewhere on Mumsnet.

An elderly friend asked me to agree to look after her cat if she predeceased it. She lives in a small one bedroom flat with a balcony.

I agreed. Next thing, she wanted a plan of my house, wanted me to agree to build on balcony or construct a catio...

Then, when she heard that I needed some work on my pipework, wanted to know how I would keep the cat safe and make sure it didn't run out the door while the workmen were here. (Ideally, she wanted me to build on an enclosed porch with a second front door.)

I told her that I'd shut the cat in one of the upstairs bedrooms while the workmen were in. "Oh no! That's CRUEL! She is used to having the run of the flat!"

I still don't see how confining a cat to a spacious double bedroom for a few hours a day is any worse than keeping it in a small crowded flat all the time, but...

If a dog owner considers their dog to be family, fair enough. That's up to them.

The issue is when they expect everyone to treat the dog like that, demand the dog is invited everywhere, guilt people with the ''but it's Christmas'' etc.

Aw, that is so sad. Dogs definitely feel grief too. My parents had two dogs, and when the oldest one died, the other got so depressed.

My grandad had a JRT who witnessed him having a catastrophic stroke. He just sat there and howled whilst the paramedics were there. It was like he knew he was losing his dad. He was shut down for months after. He came to funeral too. That is a no no on MN it seems.

Agreed. I've never had a child of my own but I can assure you that if I was in a burning building and had to chose between grabbing and running out with a child or a puppy, I'd be leaving with the child.

Reading the plethora of dysfunctional and low/no contact families on here, I'm really not sure how you can justify that comment. The difference between dogs and people is dogs love pretty much unconditionally. Look after them and you have a wonderful companion. People are self serving.

I can't understand people who don't "do" pets/animals; can't see what the fuss is about. Animals (and nature) are the jewels of our environment.

I love my dog very much, but It's not a "fur baby" and I'm not going to condem myself to dog friendly uk holidays for the next 10 or so years. I'm not going to only eat in dog friendly restaurants/cafes, it stays home when we eat out, because he's a dog 🤦‍♀️

Tell you what, everyone we meet is a lot more delighted to see these little boogers than they are me.😁

This is bullshit though. In what scenario would this be a reality?

It is just used as a way to shame people for picking their pet over a stranger's kid. Where are the parents? Why would you be in a building with your dog and unaccompanied kids? How would you know there are kids there to start with?

I'm a huge animal lover. I've had numerous rats. I have two cats, who are very much beloved members of my household. I will be devastated when they die. But they aren't human beings. The life of my pets will never be more important than the life of a child, be it my own or a stranger's.

If you'd seriously choose the life of an animal over the life of a human child, you need to have a word with yourself tbh 🤷

Let me get this right.
If you have a dog and you love your dog, you're supposed to get pissed off at people who state "it's a dog".
Actually no, it goes further. If you have a dog and you love your dog and somebody states that it's a dog that you have, you are supposed to disenfranchise yourself from that person completely in disgust, even though that person who says of your dog "it's a dog" has way more in common with you than you will ever have in common with the dog that you profess to love.
Meanwhile, whilst being disgusted by people who state that a dog is a dog, you're supposed to pick up the warm turds left by the dog that you love and find that less disgusting than someone telling you that your dog is... wait for it... a dog.
Meanwhile in the kingdom of dogs, they're all laughing their asses off at us. The takeover is almost complete.