Things you hate.

[divorcinganabsolutewanker]

We've had 2 birthdays in work today and I didn't join in with the singing of happy birthday. I hate it. Have a great day and all that but I don't feel the need to go and join in.

I also hate Christmas, it's a waste of money. Love the time with family but the rest of it can fuck off.

I also hate going for a wee and stopping for diesel.

What do you hate?

Cyclists in packs! They block the road by cycling five abreast across the road. They come into the cafe in their clackity special shoes and their puffed up arses and take aaaaages to order a latte without milk and egg white omelette.
I don't hate individual cyclists but those who go out in groups drive me wild!
And slugs and snails.

Coriander
Parsnips
People who don't move down to stand in the middle of the carriage on trains when they're full, because god forbid you might be 'stuck' on the train when we get to the station and you can't say 'excuse me' or move just before your stop.
People who put their feet / bags on seats on the train contributing to the above, because people don't want to ask them to shift their stuff.
'Twixtmas' - both the name and the time itself.
People who walk slowly, or randomly stop, or amble about changing direction with no awareness of people around / behind them who are either in a hurry or just walk faster.
Having to decide what's for dinner, cook it, wash up.... every bloody night. Being single sucks sometimes.

I am on it and sadly it hasn't that much difference to my rage 😂Think I have always been a bit of a miserable git anyways so peri menopause was always going to exacerbate it!

Slow walkers
The sound of people breathing - Yes mouth breathers I'm talking about you
The woman in the office who pebble dashes the toilet bowl daily and doesnt clean up after herself
People who leave coffee in the sugar canister (just use a different spoon!)

Oh yes, those cyclists! They're also the sort who'll shave as much excess weight off their bikes by disposing of their bells etc whilst simultaneously being 20KG overweight because it'll give them the edge.

OMG this - blocking shop door ways. Even if you are alone.

I found myself doing it the other day - walked out of a shop, and stopped about 2 feet from the door while I recalled which way I wanted to go next.
I had to have a stern word with myself as soon as I realised.

Faffers and fanniers.

Folk who only start rummaging for their money or card when the cashier tells them the amount.
People who make an absolute pantomime of sorting themselves out in a cafe or at the petrol station.

But equally machines and systems that force you to fanny about. The parking meters that need to know your name, car registration and inside leg measurement before you can park.

Zero tolerance for buggering about.

Twats who big themselves up on LinkedIn, glorifying normal training and achievement like they’re the next Steve Jobs.

People who talk about themselves constantly - ask questions people!

unisex toilets! We have them at work and dear lord, some people are utterly disgusting. We had a ‘pot luck’ lunch the other day where everyone brought something in that they’d made, I avoided it because I know how little hygiene some of these people have.

There’s a bar/restaurant in our little town that had a nice vibe and good food. I refuse to go there anymore because they have unisex toilets and I invariably have to clean up the spray of some stupid fecking man before I can use the loo.

Oh lord, yes to those who start rummaging for their money only when they get to cashier or self serivce checkout. It makes me want to shout 'You've been standing in the queue for the last few minutes! Exactly what about paying is a surprise to you?!'

People who let their much bigger and older kids smash around inside the baby and toddler section of soft play. Winds me up the fucking wall.

I hate
My own birthday
Nicola Walker talking to herself in Annika
Christmas - well the ridiculous present buying stuff
People who state the obvious
People who hang around for hours, don’t know when it’s time to go home
Being the only one to decide what to cook

• Loud eaters
• people who chew with their mouth open
• mouth breathers
• people who can’t use cutlery properly
• people who walk around in public as though it is their first day on earth
• the wilfully ignorant
• people who lie and say they enjoy matcha and hot honey
• having to bring cake to the office on my own birthday

It’s a non exhaustive list but those are the more lighthearted ones.

Today. Sodding bloody Christmas presents. Looking. Buying, waiting for delivery, trying to remember what you’d ordered, then wrapping the things. Grrrr.

I love snails, but I hate how they hide in silence in the dark on the path so you stand on them and crush them.

People who can’t locate their payment cards, despite being at the front of the fucking queue.

Private school vat, we would raise more money by charging those who use state schools a very small service charge fee.

Elf on the Shelf, the most boring and inane trend I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Having to greet people ( who aren’t close relatives) with a kiss! I actually cringe or try to get out of doing it.
Its awkward as anything and should be banned ( Covid times was great as nobody could be too close. About the only good thing about any of that awful time )

Have you considered getting catheterised?

Phone ins on the radio. I have to turn over. The general public are mainly awful.

Having to visit in-laws for them to see DC, only for those in-laws to sit on their phones the entire time they aren’t watching football. So glad we drive across the country to sit there watching you look at your phone or try to keep DC silent while you watch the football. Apparently us going and doing anything is rude. I have a DH problem.

Bit like a Slinky with a Roomba on both ends?

People who eat stuff in Supermarkets before paying. That goes for kids too, they won’t starve or faint away from malnutrition in 45 minutes. I had a colleague who’d eat a sandwich and chug down a bottle of Vimto as we picked up some bits the odd lunchtime, she’dvthen dump the empty bottle/wrapper on the belt to be scanned. She was 45 fgs. So uncouth. Oh and kids on the radio, they all seem to put on a baby voice despite being 9. It’s normally a pushy Mother saying ‘oh little Harry wants to say Hi’.

I like Christmas, that is the day itself lots to eat and drink. See my family, slump in the chair watching tv. It’s all the faffing you have to do beforehand. I’ve had the bright idea not to do stockings this year. Instead I’ve bought baskets that I’m going to lovingly fill and tie up with cellophane and ribbon. Ffs

'Elf on the Shelf, the most boring and inane trend I’ve ever laid eyes on.'

Even worse than that - parents who do Elf on the sodding Shelf but come into work and bore me to death by moaning about it. You decided to do it, get yourself organised and crack on! Performative martyrdom is so tedious

Oh and my fucking door wreath is going to get frisbee’d over the church steeple next time I open the door to see who’s knocking and it’s that poxy thing blowing in the wind.