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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have said that women should be drafted equally to men??

350 replies

Pukkajones · 05/12/2025 11:33

Chatting to a group of friends about the state of the world etc and while in theory I’m against conscription and forced national military service I did say that I think it’s right that there is more equality in girls/women being treated the same as boys/men in the countries that have service.
One friend who has 3 teen girls really had a go at me and got very upset. I have a teen boy and teen girl. While I hate the idea of EITHER being forced to enter the military I think they should be treated equally ( roles allowing - ie some combat roles aren’t open to women) if it came to it. ‘it’ being an actual war with Russia and/or its allies.

it got VERY heated, even though I and another friend pointed out that there are many non-combat roles in the military. And that if we did end up in a World War we’d likely have a role in it regardless of sex or age.

YABU - only men should be drafted
YANBU - in the modern world both sexes should serve in the military.

OP posts:
SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 05/12/2025 13:13

roseymoira · 05/12/2025 13:10

I think when women cause and go to war, then yes. But for now wars can mostly be attributed to violent males and their egos, so no I wouldn’t send women to fight for them

You’d be fighting for yourself, your family and frankly th 51% of women. If war comes you don’t get to opt out because you don’t like it.

MrFluffyDogIsMyBestFriend · 05/12/2025 13:14

No-one should be conscripted unless they're suitable. Many would just be going out there to die and would be completely ineffective anyway so a lethal injection would be better. God I hate humans.

BoredZelda · 05/12/2025 13:17

Soontobe60 · 05/12/2025 12:10

The only issue I can see with male and female conscript is that you could end up with children whose parents are both of conscription age being left with neither parent to look after them. That needs to be addressed.

This.

People can scream about equality but that always seems to mean that women have to do more whilst men just carry on. We talk about conscription in the world wars only in the context of men, as if women were sitting at home having a whale of a time, living it up. Women were the backbone of the war. They joined up to the ATF, WAAF, WRNS to provide logistical, administrative and domestic services, as well as being involved in things like code breaking. They joined the Land Army to keep agriculture going. Those who didn’t join up quickly re-skilled to take on work they were previously excluded from, (which they were paid way less for and duly excluded from again after the war) They banded together to look after each others’ children, and the evacuated children of complete strangers. They made sure everyone was kept fed whilst rationing reduced food availability, coming up with new recipes, many of which we still use today. They tended to wounded soldiers, dealing with some horrific situations. They even kept football going, which raised loads of money for charity and became way more popular than the men’s game (which led to it being banned for 50 years)

And they did all this not knowing whether their husbands and sons would be coming back. They didn’t have to face the horrors of the front line, but what they did wasn’t nothing, not even close.

In a world where we have made it possible for men to take extended paternity leave and barely any men do, and where women in the Armed Forces are routinely treated terribly by their male colleagues, it’s extraordinary that men will complain if women suggest conscription isn’t something they should face.

IBorAlevels · 05/12/2025 13:17

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 05/12/2025 13:13

You’d be fighting for yourself, your family and frankly th 51% of women. If war comes you don’t get to opt out because you don’t like it.

To be honest woman stayed out of it as much as they could in previous wars, the men wear themselves out and come back.

This one would be likely to be fought through cyber warfare for women I suspect. No army will want women being raped and murdered by their own side to be the talk of the war.

shuggles · 05/12/2025 13:18

OurChristmasMiracle · 05/12/2025 11:38

So long as they are also being paid equally to men and given the same career progression respect etc

Reading this response made me cringe.

Do you think conscription is like working in a little office job with Teams calls or what?

Conscription involves pulling in people involuntarily for extra man power. There is no "career progression" for conscripts. You would likely be paid a minimum wage for your time before being released from service.

OutsideLookingOut · 05/12/2025 13:18

Do people think most women are sitting comfortably in a war? They held the country together doing roles men always said they couldn’t. Look at what is happening in Rwanda. The surgeon who had to put women and children together after rape.

If equality means treating everyone exactly the same I say let’s have men start giving birth - which you will need if you want to put all your young women in combat. That is the surest way to decimate your population. Good luck.

Fearfulsaints · 05/12/2025 13:19

I thought childless women did get conscripted in ww2 for the war effort.

Id fully expect to get conscripted to something i could do.

Id not be thinking front line aa id be crap.

Beserkering · 05/12/2025 13:20

If there is a “draft” (which there won’t be) then yes, men and women of fighting age should
both be called up. If we accept women can fight on the front line, then there’s no rationale not to call up both.

It’s the same as other industries - we should be striving for an equal balance in other industries and jobs that are heavily dominated by men. Bricklaying, labouring, haulage, oil rig work.

OneMoreProfiterole · 05/12/2025 13:22

If ANYONE is expected to fight for their country they need to be given a country worth fighting for.

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 05/12/2025 13:23

IBorAlevels · 05/12/2025 13:17

To be honest woman stayed out of it as much as they could in previous wars, the men wear themselves out and come back.

This one would be likely to be fought through cyber warfare for women I suspect. No army will want women being raped and murdered by their own side to be the talk of the war.

I really don’t think you have any idea what the reality of a war where we conscripted people would actually be like?

it would be an existential war, a fight or we’re all actually dead war, not one you can opt in and out of, certainly not one we have been involved in since 1939.

thats the only time anyone, male or female will be conscripted. You won’t have a choice.

Tinnybinnylinny · 05/12/2025 13:23

Pukkajones · 05/12/2025 11:33

Chatting to a group of friends about the state of the world etc and while in theory I’m against conscription and forced national military service I did say that I think it’s right that there is more equality in girls/women being treated the same as boys/men in the countries that have service.
One friend who has 3 teen girls really had a go at me and got very upset. I have a teen boy and teen girl. While I hate the idea of EITHER being forced to enter the military I think they should be treated equally ( roles allowing - ie some combat roles aren’t open to women) if it came to it. ‘it’ being an actual war with Russia and/or its allies.

it got VERY heated, even though I and another friend pointed out that there are many non-combat roles in the military. And that if we did end up in a World War we’d likely have a role in it regardless of sex or age.

YABU - only men should be drafted
YANBU - in the modern world both sexes should serve in the military.

All combat roles (UK) are open to women, albeit to date, no woman has passed SAS selection.

EvelynBeatrice · 05/12/2025 13:24

Sure. If guaranteed female only units, accommodation and training. Otherwise high chance sexual harassment assault and rape as evidenced by far too many accounts of young female soldiers and officers.

IBorAlevels · 05/12/2025 13:24

Beserkering · 05/12/2025 13:20

If there is a “draft” (which there won’t be) then yes, men and women of fighting age should
both be called up. If we accept women can fight on the front line, then there’s no rationale not to call up both.

It’s the same as other industries - we should be striving for an equal balance in other industries and jobs that are heavily dominated by men. Bricklaying, labouring, haulage, oil rig work.

As long as we can pick some to rape and assault as frequently as the women will be, let's do it. Completely fair. They also can't actually complain about that or ask for compensation or tell the media, deal?

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 05/12/2025 13:24

Tinnybinnylinny · 05/12/2025 13:23

All combat roles (UK) are open to women, albeit to date, no woman has passed SAS selection.

Edited

That’s actually, no female has passed Royal Marines training.

AgnesX · 05/12/2025 13:26

Equality means equal - that's the good and the bad where it's physically possible.

IBorAlevels · 05/12/2025 13:27

Tinnybinnylinny · 05/12/2025 13:23

All combat roles (UK) are open to women, albeit to date, no woman has passed SAS selection.

Edited

No woman in their right mind would want to be surrounded by this level of toxic masculinity. Hearing what they do to women in other countries and when they've been retired is enough for most of us.

Tinnybinnylinny · 05/12/2025 13:29

IBorAlevels · 05/12/2025 13:27

No woman in their right mind would want to be surrounded by this level of toxic masculinity. Hearing what they do to women in other countries and when they've been retired is enough for most of us.

You are making an assumption of a level of toxic masculinity within the Special Forces.

Isthismykarma · 05/12/2025 13:30

I call myself a feminist and don’t believe in conscription. However if I did, I think it would make more sense to conscript men only.
We don’t have equality in our society, it would make more sense for women to be left to take care of the children etc.

GeneralPeter · 05/12/2025 13:31

Men and women should be equally conscriptable.

In a real war, though, there are many reasons why it makes sense to draft unequally.

Men are both physically stronger (relevant to many roles) and more disposable (crucial if you want to rebuild and recover after the war).

Plus the kinds of roles women did in wartime last time (without a draft) were absolutely crucial, not some fluffy opt out. War production, agriculture, administration, intelligence, morale, caring for children, injured and elderly. Without those you a) can’t fight and b) don’t have much worth fighting for.

CurlewKate · 05/12/2025 13:33

If there is conscription, then of course women should be conscripted too. Obviously there shouldn’t be conscription for anyone.

AngelinaFibres · 05/12/2025 13:35

In previous wars young men were often too thin, too ill ( TB etc), suffering from malnutrition to pass conscription. These days the majority would be too fat and too unfit. They'd need months and months of training to get them anywhere near useful.

TheRealMagic · 05/12/2025 13:37

SnoopyPajamas · 05/12/2025 13:03

This. I would never send my daughter off to face likely sexual harassment by her own side, knowing she would also suffer hideous sexual violence her brother wouldn't, if captured by the other side.

I think this a failure of the media, to be honest. We've become so squeamish in recent years that the full horror of the sexual violence women face in war effectively gets censored. With the result that a number of women seem to really believe it doesn't happen anymore in the modern day.

I think you've had some of your information censored too, if you think that there is no chance of a man in a war situation suffering sexual violence.

BlueJuniper94 · 05/12/2025 13:38

Wildbushlady · 05/12/2025 12:57

Seems like an extension of the madness that wants to completely ignore any biological differences between the sexes. It might not be popular to say biology predisposes either sex to be better or worse at a small section of jobs, but it's true none the less.

I want a six foot male police officer or fireman to rescue me. I wouldn't mind a six foot similarly strong woman either, but I've seen female police officers (and some very short male ones) lately that would struggle to physically restrain my toddler. I've watched criminals in town literally laugh and skip away from them.

And on the flip side of the biological coin, I would want a female nurse or nursery/primary school worker too, because of the significantly reduced risk that they are a violent/sexual threat to those weaker than them.

This This This.

The bonkers idea that men and women would be equally useful as combatants as they would holding the fort at home is evidence of how cushty we really have it. And the awful truth is that even our fighting age men are not in great shape. I am absolutely against sending anyone anywhere into the meat grinder but the hard fact is that if you are not able or prepared to stand your ground you will lose sovereignty. A front line of women against a fit army of men is beyond ridiculous and only something entertained by idiots.

BlueJuniper94 · 05/12/2025 13:40

TheRealMagic · 05/12/2025 13:37

I think you've had some of your information censored too, if you think that there is no chance of a man in a war situation suffering sexual violence.

There is a chance. But men don't get pregnant. While sexual torture happens to men it is far less likely.

Justlostmybagel · 05/12/2025 13:40

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 05/12/2025 13:12

I don’t think you’ll have any choice when the time comes and acting as if you will have a choice is foolish.

When the time for enlistment comes? I won't be eligible anyway.