AIBU to be furious?

[havasack]

On Thursdays I meet my childminder at the school gates to hand over my 1 year old while I’m picking up my 6 year old.
We had a brief chat and then she said (in front of a few other people) she’d seen we’d been away at the weekend and that ‘maybe I should pay my childcare bill before I book holidays’. Three people turned around and I was bright red in the face. How unprofessional!
For context - payment was due Monday and she’s sent me no reminders which she usually does after 2/3 days then I always pay! I’ve never not paid.

I’m thinking of transferring to a nursery as there may be more professional boundaries in place. She should not have mentioned that in front of others. AIBU?

Always interesting when someone is expecting to be treated respectfully but has no intention of extending the same civility.

I guarantee if our work payroll was ‘just a few days’ late people would be up in arms.

Or does she not deserve to be paid on time because she is ‘just a childminder’?

At first I was all set to say YANBU and she was unprofessional and indiscreet. But if you're a persistent late payer, to the point where she's threatened to suspend care and added a late fee, then she's absolutely justified IMO.
I'm freelance and people are maddeningly casual about paying me on time. I think people on a salary just don't appreciate the seriousness of the cashflow issues late payments can cause. If your salary was persistently late by 'just a few days', would that be OK with you/your bills and outgoings that go out on a certain day?
And that's not to mention the admin time and hassle/awkwardness of having to chase people up.
I'd say she's more than earned her late fees. I think she'd be thanking her lucky stars if you did decide to transfer to a nursery. Will you be paying them 'a few days late' too?

She should not have said that

and

You are an absolute CF and taking the piss. End of the day Thursday is 4 days late. You have no business waiting for her to remind you. It is not ok to just casually be a few days late and needing reminding before you pay.

YANBU in being upset that she said that in front of others
SINBU to be equally furious with you for your lax selfish behaviour.

You are beyond unreasonable.

You wouldn't accept work paying you late so why should she accept it?

Good luck if you think a nursery would accept late payments.

Oh yes I remember that one. The OP couldn't understand why it was her own responsibility to set one reminder to pay her child's music tutor, and expected the tutor to do it amongst all the other things that tutoring numerous children involves. Definitely the same "I'm so important, you all need to pander to me" vibes here.

Wow I was on the fence as to whether Yabu before as she was unprofessional to say it in front of others but equally you should have paid on time, without the need for her to remind you. But the fact you’ve paid late before, object to late payment charges and think that she hasn’t earned the penalty fee shows that you are being vv unreasonable.

YABU pay on time and you won't be embarassed. Would you be ok if your work paid you late 'just a few days' every month?

YABU….

be careful… you’ll end up with a reputation as a late payer and no local childcare.

set up a direct debit and hopefully your CM won’t kick your kids off her roll

It seems like she's addressed it with you professionally - even to the point of adding late fees to your bill - and you've continued to be a CF piss-taker, so now she's taking the unprofessional route to see if she can actually get her money from you on time.

Take responsibility for yourself and pay the childminder on time.

With the massive drip feed and all the info now - YABU.

Pay for your children's care.

Sounds like you can expect to be given notice shortly.

So she regularly has to chase you for money...

You are taking the piss, Why are you waiting 3 days to receive a reminder?. stop paying late. Paying her bills late will fuck up her credit rating, you wouldnt like it if your employer paid you late. stop being an ass hat and just pay on time.

Sounds like you would also be okay if you salary was paid late 🤔🤔🤔🤔
Thought not so why is it acceptable to pay someone else's salary late.

Would you like to be paid late? You shouldn't need reminding. I wouldn't care you're embarrassed I think she had every right to mention it. Why should she be worried about bills when you're galavanting. Imagine if all the parents did that.

Looking at your replies it seems you have been late more than once you also don’t seem to care that’s it’s an inconvenience for her. She also has bills to pay just like you!

I agree she should have handled it better but if you have been late more than once and she has even charged you fees for being late with paying it’s obviously isn’t working and she is pissed off with you.

Find a nursery and let the childminder find a family that pay her on time. Also good luck with paying the nursery late they won’t stand for your nonsense.

Fair play to her.

You're a terrible employer

She should not have to keep sending you reminders. I too would be annoyed

You pay for your kids services when asked for. Its unfair to expect her to send reminders each time. Just pay when you are meant to.

Dont expect good relationships with nursery, school, kids camps, clubs and tutoring in the future if you need reminders after every initial request for payment.

Its entitled of you to think that people should wait about for their payment and that they have to beg you to be paid every month, how demeaning for them and very, very rude and disrespectful of you.

I don’t believe this is true. I refuse to believe anyone lacks self awareness to this extent.

But just in case…

She did earn it, because you paying late might be impacting her credit record when she can’t pay bills, she might have bounced direct debit costs or overdraft interest costs to pay because you’re too lazy and disrespectful to pay on time. She will at least have had to spend time on the admin of chasing you and arranging her finances, and £100 doesn’t seem anywhere near enough to compensate for that happening regularly.

Polite chasing and financial penalties hasn’t changed your behaviour. Maybe public shame will.

Give your head a wobble OP!

You've not paid for the services you've used.

It's not the childminders responsibility to remind you, nag you, and now shame you to pay on time. It's your child, your bill, your responsibility.

I'm not surprised the poor childminder said something to you - I'd just be grateful that she's 'embarrassed' you rather than telling you to sling your hook and find alternative child care.

If she took the same attitude towards you - “I’m only a couple of days late, she needs to chill” - how would you feel if she chose not to turn up at the school gate on Thursdays to meet you and showed up on a Friday or waited to the Monday “because I’m only a couple of days late. Just chill. And don’t you dare say anything about me being a couple of days late infront of other people because that will make you a CF”. I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t like it and would fire her.

You sound very entitled OP. It must be stressful for her having to chase you for money.

Hahaha you’re not actually serious, surely 🫠

Again BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T PAY ON TIME. Multiple people have already asked you why she needs to remind you to pay her on time. Your an adult you shouldn't need reminding to pay every month