Page 27 | AIBU to be furious?

havasack · 2025-12-05T07:35:11+00:00

On Thursdays I meet my childminder at the school gates to hand over my 1 year old while I’m picking up my 6 year old. We had a brief chat and then she said (in front of a few other people) she’d seen we’d been away at the weekend and that ‘maybe I should pay my childcare bill before I book holidays’. Three people turned around and I was bright red in the face. How unprofessional! For context - payment was due Monday and she’s sent me no reminders which she usually does after 2/3 days then I always pay! I’ve never not paid. I’m thinking of transferring to a nursery as there may be more professional boundaries in place. She should not have mentioned that in front of others. AIBU?

Sleepeazie · 05/12/2025 21:09

@havasack one of you is wrong. It’s not your childminder……

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 05/12/2025 21:09

@havasackprobably missing the point here but why do you hand over a 1yr old when picking 6 year old up?? Do you take 6 home and collect 1 later on in the evening?

MrsPrendergast · 05/12/2025 21:15

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

It also wouldn't be hard for you to be an adult and PAY ON TIME

Grow up

Thepossibility · 05/12/2025 21:21

Team childminder here. She needs her income to survive and it IS cheeky you've gone off on holiday instead of paying her the money she EARNED. And she mentioned it publicly because you are a repeat offender!

dementedmummy · 05/12/2025 21:23

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

Let's turn this on it's head shall we? What if your employer constantly had to be reminded to pay you? Would you be happy? No you wouldn't. Why? Because you are relying on that money coming in to pay the bills. It's the same principle for your child minder - she has provided you with a service. She expects you to pay on time. Why? Because she is relying on that money to pay her bills. Whether you believe she is well off is irrelevant. Why should she be put out because you can't be bothered to pay on time? I'm glad she has a shiny spine to charge you late fees and I'm glad she called you out for going on holiday instead of paying her. Either you will take your child elsewhere and she fills the space with a person who pays on time or in future you will pay her on time so you aren't embarrassed. Another thing - presumably you use the same hours each month so your bill shouldn't alter from month to month? Set up a standing order for the due date (dead simple on online banking - just make it a recurring payment) and then you will never be late, she won't need to call you out in public and your child will be looked after and everyone is a winner. Or set a reoccurring reminder on your phone to prompt you to pay. Or both! This is not rocket science.

Skippydoodle · 05/12/2025 21:24

what she does with her money is NOT your business. You should pay on time. If your or your partners employer paid you late, you could miss a mortgage payment etc and you would be up un arms. You are a CF.

Aligirlbear · 05/12/2025 21:24

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:37

Only by a few days. She’s acting like it’s weeks.

And how would you feel if your employers decided to pay you a few days late. While not great she mentioned this in front of others clearly she is fed up with late payments. Waiting for a reminder and then paying 2 or 3 days late for a service is not acceptable. The childminder has bills like you and needs to pay them as they fall due. You might find it tricky fining another childminder as they tend to talk to each other and if you have a reputation for late payment this will get round the childminder community.

Timetochillnow · 05/12/2025 21:27

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:37

Only by a few days. She’s acting like it’s weeks.

Does your workplace pay you on time or do you have to remind them to pay you? It’s the same thing

CherrieTomaties · 05/12/2025 21:29

Do you have to remind your employer to pay you? Or do they pay you on the designated pay day that’s written in your contract?

If it keeps “slipping your mind” because of the “busy time of year” just set a reminder in your calendar or on your phone. That’s not a hard thing to do.

PolyVagalNerve · 05/12/2025 21:29

She’s a child Minder - not your PA

have fun pulling the paying late stunt for a nursery -

how do u think the rest of us manage to pay bills on time ???

sort yourself out

Ireolu · 05/12/2025 21:31

Yup that's a great idea annoy the person providing care for your child. Pay on time.

Macaroni46 · 05/12/2025 21:32

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

Geez your entitlement gets worse. Just pay the invoice straightaway or set yourself a reminder. You’re clearly one of these people who has no respect for childcare professionals (yet you probably expect them to go over and above to look after your precious DC and are quick to complain).
Hope the CM dumps you and replaces you with someone who values her.

Saharafordessert · 05/12/2025 21:33

Wow OP, you should be seriously embarrassed, not because she called you out but by your consistent late payments and your inability to own the fact that it’s on you to remember!
Sounds like shes reached the end of her rope with you and that the relationship has broken down. Time to find alternative childcare, it seems you have no respect for the woman who cares for your child.

HisNibs · 05/12/2025 21:34

I guess you pay using online banking OP? In which case, you can set up the payment to come out on the correct day in advance. There is no reason you can't create the payment when she sends the invoice - that is your reminder. I haven't come across a banking app yet where this isn't an option. Give up with this crap about needing text reminders, it's up to you to find a method that works to ensure the CM is paid on time. Wouldn't be the least bit surprised if you didn't find that she gives your place to someone else soon.

LongJoanneSilber · 05/12/2025 21:36

Yabu. Do you have to remind your employer to pay for your work on time?

Why not pay her invoice upon receipt, of course she doesn't want to have to remind you, nor should she, time to grow up OP. I'd be very embarrassed. FYI a nursery will give you a late fee immediately, or refuse to take your child.

JifNtGif · 05/12/2025 21:37

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

Ah well. Fully deserved then.

Soonenough · 05/12/2025 21:39

I would do exactly the same as your childminder. You are a CF . She has already tried fining you to encourage you to pay on time . In fact come January I would be giving you notice .You clearly don't value her or her time .

Good luck trying to find anyone else or a nursery that will put up with late payments.

Ivy888 · 05/12/2025 21:39

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:37

Only by a few days. She’s acting like it’s weeks.

You are wrong to pay late. It’s very disrespectful. Do not wait for her to send reminders. This behaviour is clearly really pissing her off, and rightly so. How would you feel if your boss payed a few days late regularly?
I think you brought this on yourself. If you’re only paying when she sends reminders, you’re forcing her to try a different tactic to get you to pay on time, or to resign.

Whichone1 · 05/12/2025 21:39

You’re so ridiculously out of order- she should have let you go as a customer by now

Wordsmithery · 05/12/2025 21:41

She shouldn't have said that in front of others but perhaps she's fed up with reminding you to pay. She's a small business and having to remind you every month is another burden on her time. So I have a lot of sympathy witn her.

Hankunamatata · 05/12/2025 21:42

Wow
Your so entitled

EmeraldPebble · 05/12/2025 21:43

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

You just sound lazy and nonchalant in this reply to be honest.

ThatCyanCat · 05/12/2025 21:48

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

Good Lord.

I always remember once she sends a reminder

She shouldn't have to send a reminder and you don't get kudos for paying the bill you owe.

I have paid on time the last few months.

You're supposed to pay on time! Are you expecting a reward?

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind

You've accumulated at least ten days of late payments already, what were the other ten excuses?

she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.

That's your fault!

she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.

What the flippity flappity fuck? You think you don't need to pay your bills unless you've failed to pay them for so long that she's no longer got a life because she's impoverished? She's not allowed to take leave, she doesn't need to be paid because she's taken a break? Can your employer fail to pay you for two weeks because you went on holiday? Do you hear yourself?

I understand it’s my fault for paying late

No you don't or you wouldn't immediately blame her by adding...

but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

You are absolutely 100% in the wrong here and you're lucky she's still serving you. She's your childminder, not your PA, she provides a service, she's entitled to be paid on time, she's entitled to go on holiday like you and you need to set up your own payment reminder, do your own admin and stop deprioritising paying her.

And the absolute cheek of complaining she didn't earn her late payment fees!

Honestly, this is jaw dropping.

CunningLinguist2 · 05/12/2025 21:54

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

She’s not your mom. Just set up a SO/reminder on your phone etc. Be an adult

TallMam · 05/12/2025 21:55

I would drop you as my client with your attitude. Can't believe how blasé you are about paying her late. And regarding her late fees...she runs a business! She has earned those late fees, they are not a credit in your name. Grow up a bit please and be more respectful of the next one.