AIBU to be furious?

[havasack]

On Thursdays I meet my childminder at the school gates to hand over my 1 year old while I’m picking up my 6 year old.
We had a brief chat and then she said (in front of a few other people) she’d seen we’d been away at the weekend and that ‘maybe I should pay my childcare bill before I book holidays’. Three people turned around and I was bright red in the face. How unprofessional!
For context - payment was due Monday and she’s sent me no reminders which she usually does after 2/3 days then I always pay! I’ve never not paid.

I’m thinking of transferring to a nursery as there may be more professional boundaries in place. She should not have mentioned that in front of others. AIBU?

She's totally earned it!
Her assumed payment was late and she had to chase it up. That takes time and stress.
I'm really surprised you are still with her, because relations are clearly going a bit sour. Where is your dignity?
If pushed to take sides in this I am on team child minder. You cause her stress and upset and won't engage with that fact because nothing is your fault is it?

This one aint never coming back 😂

No! 🤔

Nope. Arse handed to her on a plate and rightly so.

Pretty sure it was rage bait

She probably doesn't get to have holidays thanks to people like you.

Oh, she's MORE than earned it.

I can tell that just from your 3 micro-contributions to the thread.

Does your employer need a reminder to pay you on time? She has bills to pay like everyone else so yes I would be cross if you hadn’t paid me for looking after your children but managed to find money to go on holiday.

In your shoes I would remove your child and put in a nursery. The childminder can then take on somebody who respects her work enough to pay her on time.

You sound very entitled. She likely saw it as her opportunity to call you out to make you pay on time.

My DH is not impressed by an employer who pays late - I am freelance and have been paid late in the past, and he thinks it's very bad form.

If someone has worked hard to give you their services, you should pay on time.

If the boot wss on the other foot, how would you feel?

I suspect it’s a reverse

But sounds like it has happened ed more than once?

How would you like it if your wages were a few days late every month?

Well if you’ve paid a £100 in late fees that’s 10 days of lateness

pay on time 🤷‍♀️

I can see the lips and eyebrows from here.

Look I think the way she did it was unprofessional, but you should just pay her on time going forward. Set reminders. Or if it’s the same amount each time then automate the payment.

You don’t know everyone’s story. She might be forced into payday loans or charged to be in her overdraft if you pay late. If your employer (I appreciate that may not be the relationship here) paid you late regularly you would not be happy.

try to forget this incident and be on good terms with the person who is looking after your children.

Why do you want her looking after your baby if that’s the disdain you have for her? I would go to a nursery at this point. It seems you have had enough of one another. I think you’re both unreasonable tbh, she should have spoken to you in private but also you can’t just pay late semi regularly.

guessing this means you paid late 10 times or a total of 10 days that time… try to see why she might be at the end of her tether and act unprofessionally.

So you clearly make a habit of not paying on time.

It's clients like you who make being self employed extremely stressful. I'm totally team childminder here and don't blame her at all for calling you out in public. I'd have binned you off months ago.

I was on your side until I saw this.

Don't make people beg you for money they're owed.

I'd love to see your reaction should either your or your partners employers pay a few days late. It's absolutely not ever acceptable to pay employees late, you have a legal and moral duty to pay on time. People have their own mortgages to pay and their own kids to feed. She should be furious with you. She probably shouldn't have said something in front of people but in my opinion you should be shamed for treating her so shoddily.

The Op hasent posted since 7.39 am i really dont think she's coming back.....

@havasack YANBU to be annoyed at her making such a remark in public within earshot of others - that was totally unprofessional of her. However, YABVVVU to pay your childcare bill late - this is part of her salary and she has other bills of her own to pay. Why should she have to send you reminders? You know when it's due each month, so what's your excuse for paying it late? Get organised; set yourself a monthly recurring diary reminder and pay it on time - because she's every bit as justified to be furious with you.

You're 100% right, she is fed up. The fact CM is on time and reliable is the professionalism you need, despite late payments so I kind of feel this has been addressed privately on a number of occasions....and that is the CM's get out of jail card inmho.

If I was your childminder, I’d let you know your place was being given to someone who was able to pay my fees on time. ‘Didn’t send me a reminder as usual’ she’s not your mum. Christ, some people are the absolute limit.

You shouldn’t be late at all.
She shouldn’t have addressed like she did, that was unprofessional, but maybe she’s annoyed she has to remind you again, having found you been on holiday owing her money.