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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be furious?

802 replies

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:35

On Thursdays I meet my childminder at the school gates to hand over my 1 year old while I’m picking up my 6 year old.
We had a brief chat and then she said (in front of a few other people) she’d seen we’d been away at the weekend and that ‘maybe I should pay my childcare bill before I book holidays’. Three people turned around and I was bright red in the face. How unprofessional!
For context - payment was due Monday and she’s sent me no reminders which she usually does after 2/3 days then I always pay! I’ve never not paid.

I’m thinking of transferring to a nursery as there may be more professional boundaries in place. She should not have mentioned that in front of others. AIBU?

OP posts:
DogsandFlowers · 05/12/2025 14:39

You need to adult better, she’s got a point

Acommonreader · 05/12/2025 14:39

Good god why don’t you pay on time!
As everyone else has said- she was unprofessional but you are an absolute piss take. I expect she will ditch you soon then your problem and hers will be solved.

shhblackbag · 05/12/2025 14:47

The childminder might be unprofessional, but I fully understand her. She's had enough of OP fucking around. At least this got a reaction. What she should have done, though, is drop OP as a client.

MyPurpleHeart · 05/12/2025 14:50

LOL at OP coming here for justification for her shitty actions and getting absolutely flamed

I love mumsnet 😂

Intrigued20 · 05/12/2025 14:51

Just pay on time. Why would you not do that?

outdooryone · 05/12/2025 14:55

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:37

Only by a few days. She’s acting like it’s weeks.

I would like to see how you respond to your salary being 'only a few days' late this month.
It is rude not to pay on time, particularly when it is directly her salary.

LydiaRidesAgain · 05/12/2025 14:56

Pay on time CF!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/12/2025 14:58

This woman is caring for your child, @havasack - you need to be sufficiently well organised to pay her on time!

If you decide to move your child to a nursery, good luck finding one who will happily let you pay ‘a few days late’ on multiple occasions!

Bikergran · 05/12/2025 15:01

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

So you've been late 10 times since she added the late fee, and who knows how many times before? It's due Mondays, pay Mondays. Stop being a CF.

DaisyChain505 · 05/12/2025 15:02

You’re totally unreasonable and completely cheeky.

why do you think it’s acceptable to pay her late?

She has bills and a home to run and if every parent she works with pays her late that’s a big issue.

she shouldn’t have to be reminding you at all and she’s correct that maybe you should pay people money you owe them before you swan off on your holidays.

PeachBlossom1234 · 05/12/2025 15:03

Pay on time.

TeaAndTattoos · 05/12/2025 15:04

I don’t blame her for calling you out in front of others maybe embarrassing you like that will make you pay her on time without needing any reminders. This is her job she has bills to pay just like you she needs paying on time not when you decide to pay her. Turn it around how would you feel if your work constantly paid you late and needed reminders to pay you.

JoieDeLivres · 05/12/2025 15:06

I'm a childminder. On Thursdays I meet my client at the school gates to pick up her 1 year old.
Today I was fifteen minutes late. We had a brief chat and then she said (in front of a few other people) she’d seen me in the supermarket an hour earlier and that ‘maybe I should pick up my clients kids on time before doing my shopping’. Three people turned around and I was bright red in the face. How rude!
For context - we agreed I'd be there at 09:00 and I was there at 09:15. She didn't ring me like she usually does when I'm late then I always jump straight in the car! I’ve never not met her.

AIBU??????!!!!!!

NKU2029 · 05/12/2025 15:07

Wow, you sound awful.

whatistheworld · 05/12/2025 15:08

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Wow! how you you like to be paid late by your employer?? you are 100% in the wrong and it sounds like she has had enough of your entitled attitude

pikkumyy77 · 05/12/2025 15:10

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

You don’t understand what a late fee is, do you?

Dinoswearunderpants · 05/12/2025 15:11

Completely agree with your childminder. If you paid your mortgage late, you'd get fined.

You are entrusting someone who is supposed to be one of the most important people in your life and you don't respect her enough to pay her on time.

Do better!!!!!

Rosscameasdoody · 05/12/2025 15:17

pikkumyy77 · 05/12/2025 15:10

You don’t understand what a late fee is, do you?

Show quote history

Agree. In what world is this classed as ‘unearned’ income. I think this is a wind up. Either that or OP is a hugely entitled CF. I hope the childminder stops services. OP will get a lesson in reality if she has to put her child in nursery.

user1471538275 · 05/12/2025 15:23

I initially thought you were not being unreasonable then I read your updates and realise that this is a you problem.

She's threatened to suspend care, presumably because you are not actually paying her for the service you are using in a timely manner.

And she certainly did 'earn' those late payment fees - by you making her chase you repeatedly.

I doubt she will care if you choose a nursery instead.

Rosscameasdoody · 05/12/2025 15:24

TheIceBear · 05/12/2025 14:22

Regardless of whether or not you paid late or not it was rude , unprofessional and uncalled for to say it like that in front of people. If it’s an issue she should speak to you privately. Yanbu

Late payments resulting in threats to stop care. Late fees added as a last resort. And OP still insists on paying late - even blaming the childminder for not sending a reminder and moaning about £100 in late fees - of her own bloody making !! That’s ten late payments. What’s wrong with a direct debit or standing order to ensure payment on time ? If OP had had a weekend away, it shows that there are no money issues, so no reason for her to habitually pay late. Good on the childminder for calling her out. OP shouldn’t be embarrassed that she was called out in front of witnesses. She should be thoroughly ashamed that she put the childminder in that position in the first place.

momtoboys · 05/12/2025 15:25

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

No, she earned that money because you are taking the piss and not paying her on time. Clearly even late fees don't change your behavior. You are coming off really poorly in this thread.

MixedFeelingsNoFeelings · 05/12/2025 15:27

Presumably the childminder saying that "she’d seen we’d been away at the weekend" meant that she saw a post of yours on social media. Combined with you consistently paying late, I guess this would have been the last straw.

I'm not surprised she responded as she did, despite it making her look a bit of a dick in front of potential customers. Sounds like she was desperate.

It's not a small thing, to pay late. Even by 'only' a few days. As for expecting a childminder to manage your financial admin...!!

Paying her for the extra time she's worked (does she have to ask for that as well?) is the least you can do, otherwise it's theft. Genuine contrition and respect for her would have helped, but the relationship may be beyond that now.

If you think a nursery would be more professional, as you call it, go for it. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you breeze in 5 minutes late for them, or miss their payment day!

MrsJeanLuc · 05/12/2025 15:30

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:37

Only by a few days. She’s acting like it’s weeks.

Try that next time you go to Tesco's. "Is it alright if I pay you in a few days time?" doesn't get the groceries home!

Yes she was rude to bring it up in that manner - perhaps she was pretty fed up with you. And a nursery won't put up with that behaviour either.

LilacReader · 05/12/2025 15:33

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

That says more about you than her!!!

Pippa12 · 05/12/2025 15:44

She’s done it on purpose so you’ll bugger off and she can childmind for a family that pays on time and doesn’t make her ‘ask’ again for what’s she’s rightfully owed!

Embarrassing for everybody!