AIBU to be furious?

[havasack]

On Thursdays I meet my childminder at the school gates to hand over my 1 year old while I’m picking up my 6 year old.
We had a brief chat and then she said (in front of a few other people) she’d seen we’d been away at the weekend and that ‘maybe I should pay my childcare bill before I book holidays’. Three people turned around and I was bright red in the face. How unprofessional!
For context - payment was due Monday and she’s sent me no reminders which she usually does after 2/3 days then I always pay! I’ve never not paid.

I’m thinking of transferring to a nursery as there may be more professional boundaries in place. She should not have mentioned that in front of others. AIBU?

Well if you paid on time then you wouldn't be charged those late fees would you?

You'll get no sympathy here. Just pay the bill on time and stop being a CF.

YABVU! You're continuously late paying your childminder and you really don't seem to be bothered by that. I can completely understand why your childminder is pissed off. Would you find it acceptable having to chase your employers for your wages each month? I doubt it! Why should she?
You know when the payment is due, either set up a recurring payment with your bank or set yourself several reminders and pay on time.
If you're complaining about having to pay the late fees, you only have yourself to blame.

This

Is this serious?

Of course you are being unreasonable. People rely on income being regular, as they need to budget. I would have some sympathy if you were living hand to mouth and had to wait to be paid to afford to pay out, but the minder is right that if you can afford a holiday you could afford to pay on time.

You are right that nurseries have more professional boundaries in place - they wouldn't take your child if you owed them money on a regular basis.

Why don't you pay on the day that it is due? Would you like to have to chase your employer for your wages if they 'forgot' to pay you on the agreed payment day?

You are treating her with disrespect. I doubt that a nursery would put up with late paymentt every month either as they have their staff to pay as well as other costs.

The Oxford word of the year 2025 is Rage Bait

A couple of times I was late paying my PT. He was too polite to say anything, bless him, I was mortified. When it happened the second time I set up a weekly reminder on my phone. If that hadn't worked I'd have created a standing order; it's totally unacceptable to be consistently late and I'm honestly astonished you have the nerve to complain about a late payment fee.

You need to pay her on time.

Yeah you’re one of those people, OP.
The woman was clearly at the end of her tether and snapped, and I don’t blame her. It’s incredibly frustrating having to remind someone time and time again that they need to pay for work already done.
Pay your damn bills on time.

To be fair i don't think you'd be any great loss to her if you left

She running a business and has her own bills to pay. You don't get to choose when you fancy paying. I'd have binned you by now

I had a feeling there was more to this right from the OP. You put this in terms of a payment arrangement with her, but that’s not the case. What’s actually happening is that you’re late each time and she has to remind you to pay.

And there’s been a pattern of escalation too. You’ve been late with payment so often that she moved to threatening to stop care and has now instigated a late payment fee as a last resort. So looking at it from a factual standpoint l really don’t blame her for the comment. It was a fair reflection of the situation and making it in front of other people was designed to embarrass you because you’ve racked up £100 in late payment fees, so even that’s not working is it ?

Being able to afford to go away for the weekend says that you’re not having money worries and you can afford to pay for her services - you just can’t be arsed to pay on time. You’re the CF here, and you know it. Instead of being embarrassed and accusing her of being unprofessional, be embarrassed about putting her in a situation where she felt the need to comment as she did, and do something about it.

Unprofessional but I can understand if you are constantly paying late by 2/3 days

are you fror real OP!?
Does your employer pay you late regularly? Do you always have to ask for your salary? No? Wtf

It sounds like she has done that already and OP continues to pay late anyway.

Clearly she felt like she was running out of options and now hopefully OP was shamed into not doing it again.

Or OP can try nursery and see how much they will put up with it.

Childminders are in high demand;she could probably drop you and find a more reliable client.

Good luck with paying the nursery late too

Quite apart from anything else, on the off-chance that this is for real, does it seem clever to you to leave your precious child in someone's care who you have repeatedly and deliberately mugged off and upset? I'm not suggesting she would treat your child any differently as a result, but it seems like a dumb move to me.

Stop paying late and you wouldn’t be called out on it in public. It’s very embarrassing to be wrong in public

you do realise that’s her JOB and without payment she wouldn’t be able to pay her bills?

how would you be if your pay at work regularly turned up late? How would you manage ?

Oh dear! It seems then that you regularly do not pay her on time. This is the person you trust with the welfare of your most precious ‘possession’. Tbh, I think you should show her more respect, and her observation was fair comment. I think you brought the public ‘outing’ on yourself, and are very unreasonable to be furious with her. Had it been the first time, she would have been out of order, but it appears to be a bad habit of yours to not pay when it is due.

Would you be chill if your employer regularly paid you several days late? I doubt it. It interferes with their bills getting paid if people are paying them late.

This is obviously a regular thing with you, she's tried imposing late fees and you still aren't paying on time so she's resorted to shaming you publicly for it. Next step will probably be to give you notice to leave.

Just pay her on time? it sounds like you always need reminders - that's pretty rude. She clearly brought it up as it's been annoying her. It's so rude to pay people late! Just set up a direct debit or something..

So if she's already raised it why are you still paying her late? Good on her for calling you out.

This! A nursery would not be as understanding as this poor woman has been.

Stop digging your hole. If you constantly are late in paying her, or a nursery should you find an acceptable one) expect to pay a late fee.

She is a small business trying to survive. It won’t be easy. Maybe she is reliant on payment coming in to be able to afford food and other basics. She shouldn’t have to remind you - yes, we all make mistakes occasionally but she absolutely should not have to be reminding you regularly. I manage things like this (as I am quite forgetful) through electronic diary reminders that pop up on my phone.

This response is so unpleasant that I’m not sure this is real, or perhaps it’s a reverse. She has had this extra money from you as a charge for the admin she is doing in reminding you to pay and to reflect the possibly significant inconvenience of you paying late. If this post is real, YABU.

If you regularly had to remind your employer to pay your monthly salary, and when you reminded them they were angry with with you because it was ‘only a few days’ late, you’d be kicking off.

Pay people on time. Clearly you had the money. It’s not difficult to pay people for the job they do. She shouldn’t ever have to remind you to pay her.

Do you really not understand that people rely on their wages to get by?