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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be furious?

802 replies

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:35

On Thursdays I meet my childminder at the school gates to hand over my 1 year old while I’m picking up my 6 year old.
We had a brief chat and then she said (in front of a few other people) she’d seen we’d been away at the weekend and that ‘maybe I should pay my childcare bill before I book holidays’. Three people turned around and I was bright red in the face. How unprofessional!
For context - payment was due Monday and she’s sent me no reminders which she usually does after 2/3 days then I always pay! I’ve never not paid.

I’m thinking of transferring to a nursery as there may be more professional boundaries in place. She should not have mentioned that in front of others. AIBU?

OP posts:
SpinandSing · 05/12/2025 10:08

Why on earth are you late every time? The expectation shouldn't be on her to chase you - do you know how stressful that will be for her. Have some respect and pay your bills on time...without being reminded. It's disgraceful and entitled behaviour. This person is looking after your most precious thing in the world...surely you want her to feel valued and respected?

RisingSunn · 05/12/2025 10:08

She probably thought you were taking the mick - going away - but not scheduling her payment - and just couldn't hold it in.

It wasn't the right place to do it - but I bet if you keep her - you will never make a late payment again!

Wittyapple · 05/12/2025 10:09

Do you know how difficult it can be with clients paying late constantly? It's not her job to remind you. She shouldn't have said anything in front of other people or in front of the children in my opinion, but she's probably had enough. Maybe she just wants to be able to pay her bills on time but can't, and sees you on holiday. I'd be pissed too.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 05/12/2025 10:09

LakeGeneva1 · 05/12/2025 10:02

Not the point is it? She still shouldnt have been so rude.

Show quote history

Maybe she was desperate. Politeness isn't going to get her bills paid.

LakeGeneva1 · 05/12/2025 10:09

Grammarnut · 05/12/2025 10:04

It is the point. How would you like your employer to frequently pay you late? You'd be furious. OP should pay on time.

Show quote history

Yes, of course she should pay on time HOWEVER, even if I was furious, I would take her to one side and not shame her. I'm not like that. I am assuming you are?! There are boundaries.

rainbowstardrops · 05/12/2025 10:10

Did you have some spare time before you had to go to school this morning? Obviously a wind up.

Howarewealldoing · 05/12/2025 10:10

You should pay on time it’s her job , I’m sure you wouldn’t like being paid late

latetothefisting · 05/12/2025 10:11

Yabvu and I assume the only reason 14% have voted the other way is because they haven't read your dripfeed further posts and assumed payment was due the following Monday, rather than you already being overdue and that this happened repeatedly.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/12/2025 10:11

You really need to start paying when you get the bill or at least on time, not waiting for a reminder.

It must drive her absolutely bonkers having to chase you every single time.

Yes, it was a bit unprofessional to discuss in front of others, but she really must be driven to distraction by the constant late payment and need to chase you. She shouldn’t have to be begging you to pay her- you should do it on the first time of asking.

brunettemic · 05/12/2025 10:11

So you’ve paid her late at least 10 days over the period since she brought in the late fees, stop whining and just pay her on time.

You’re in the wrong, she should be paid. I’m going to go out on a limb and say she’s got bills to pay. YABU.

I bet your paid your holiday off on time…

LeastOfMyWorries · 05/12/2025 10:14

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Are you for real? Yes it wasn't very professional of her to mention in public but I'd have binned you off by now. "hasn't earned"- how do you know she isn't having to pay late fees on her bills that haven't been paid while she is waiting for you to decide to pay her? Honestly, who do you think you are?

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 05/12/2025 10:14

latetothefisting · 05/12/2025 10:11

Yabvu and I assume the only reason 14% have voted the other way is because they haven't read your dripfeed further posts and assumed payment was due the following Monday, rather than you already being overdue and that this happened repeatedly.

Or some of them are as much of a CF as the OP and see nothing wrong in leaving someone hanging for money they are owed "for a few days".

DustyGrapevine · 05/12/2025 10:16

MermaidMummy06 · 05/12/2025 07:44

A simple rule is to pay as soon as the bill arrives. Budget for it. Put the money aside or if it's the same amount, an auto payment.

Rude is not paying on time. If she's put a late fee in place it's to try and get you to pay!! The comment publicly was unprofessional, but likely out of frustration. She has bills too. If my employer paid late there'd be mutiny!

Also, chasing you takes extra time out of her day that she shouldn’t have to waste, so she actually is earning the late fee.

Gribouille · 05/12/2025 10:16

Apropos of nothing, did you know that Rage Bait is the OUP Word of the Year for 2025... ? 😗

Shefliesonherownwings · 05/12/2025 10:17

Are you for real??

From the reading of the OP it sounds like you are always late to pay her, you wait for the reminder 2/3 days later and then pay?! Just pay her on time, how hard is it?

Im not surprised she called you out in front of other people, she’s the one who should be furious at your continued disrespect in paying her late every time.

ClairDeLaLune · 05/12/2025 10:19

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Haha good one OP you’ve jumped the shark now! You’re totally unreasonable. Stop paying her late. You’re lucky she hasn’t binned you off. She was only unreasonable in not shaming you to even more people.

ThatGladTiger · 05/12/2025 10:19

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:37

Only by a few days. She’s acting like it’s weeks.

What if your employer paid you a few days late!

This one is on you, pay her on time.

TheCountessAtChristmas · 05/12/2025 10:19

I assume this is a reverse? Pay your bills ON TIME and dont expect the childminder to have to always remind you...and THEN pay.
Terrible entitled behaviour

Lifebeganat50 · 05/12/2025 10:20

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

I love your childminder!

Hellohelga · 05/12/2025 10:20

Just pay her on time. Problem solved. BTW you can’t pay nursery fees late.

YourWildAmberSloth · 05/12/2025 10:21

YABVU. She should not have to remind you/chase you for payment. I assume you work OP, if your salary wasn't in your account on payday, what would you do or say? Shrug and say well at least it will only be a few days late, its not weeks. She had every right to call you out. When you enrol your child in nursery, you are the one that will have to be professional and pay on time - you won't be able to take the piss out of them by paying as and when you feel like it. Clients like you are the bane of small businesses and the self-employed. Grow up, be responsible and stop taking the piss - it really isn't difficult.

cgpcbtm · 05/12/2025 10:23

For context - payment was due Monday and she’s sent me no reminders which she usually does after 2/3 days then I always pay! I’ve never not paid.

Why don't you pay her on time instead of waiting for her to remind you?
I am private music teacher and I stop lessons for anyone who behaves like that because I've got a waiting list. I can't afford to have people not paying on time. Also the people who don't pay on time tend to mess about in other ways too and it just isn't worth my while when I've got others waiting to start.

DisforDarkChocolate · 05/12/2025 10:24

She could well have had bills due she couldn't pay because you were late.

Livpool · 05/12/2025 10:24

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Because you keep paying late! Would be happy if your employer didn’t pay you on time?!

Andromed1 · 05/12/2025 10:26

She's probably annoyed and inconvenienced by you repeatedly paying late. Finally she's managed to draw your attention to something which is wrong. How would you like having to wait for your salary to arrive?