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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be furious?

802 replies

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:35

On Thursdays I meet my childminder at the school gates to hand over my 1 year old while I’m picking up my 6 year old.
We had a brief chat and then she said (in front of a few other people) she’d seen we’d been away at the weekend and that ‘maybe I should pay my childcare bill before I book holidays’. Three people turned around and I was bright red in the face. How unprofessional!
For context - payment was due Monday and she’s sent me no reminders which she usually does after 2/3 days then I always pay! I’ve never not paid.

I’m thinking of transferring to a nursery as there may be more professional boundaries in place. She should not have mentioned that in front of others. AIBU?

OP posts:
CatchTheWind1920 · 05/12/2025 09:11

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

This cannot be real 😂😂

If it is, you are a fully functioning adult, op. Sometimes we can let things slip but to continually pay late, you're ridiculous and deserve to be called out.

NameChangePoP · 05/12/2025 09:11

notallwhowanderare · 05/12/2025 09:07

Yep, complaint for unprofessional conduct. No need to pretend not to understand me again, as I completely disagree with you.

Ciao.

Show quote history

The Childminder is self employed. Who exactly is the OP going to complain to? I can just imagine the Ofsted eye roll now when the OP complains that the CM embarrassed her in front of other mums because yet again the OP didn't pay her...........
You are clearly the OP or a relative. The CM did absolutely nothing wrong.

ThisLuckyOpalShaker · 05/12/2025 09:12

This has to be a joke 😂 how RUDE to continuously pay late

MoonPixie29 · 05/12/2025 09:12

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

She should have addressed this with you privately, yes, but she sounds fed up of you consistently paying her late. She's introduced the late fee to deter you from always paying her late! It's your own fault you've had to cough up extra money because you can't organise yourself to pay her on time.

She shouldn't have to send you reminders. I am sure you would be furious if your employer didn't pay you when they are suppose to. That is her income, she has bills to pay.

If you can't pay the invoices as soon as you receive them, set yourself reminders. A nursery will most likely have less tolerance for late payment than your childminder.

SouthernNights59 · 05/12/2025 09:12

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Well she wouldn't have had the extra money from you if you paid on time - it's quite simple really.

I bet you would be complaining if your employer paid you whenever they felt like doing so.

Mylovelygreendress · 05/12/2025 09:12

Here’s an idea - pay on time !

ParmaVioletTea · 05/12/2025 09:12

So it was Thursday, 3 days after payment was due?

I’m not sure your childminder is the unprofessional one here.

Limon87 · 05/12/2025 09:14

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Oh my god your entitlement is ridiculous. If she’s got 100 pounds off you you’ve clearly been late ten times. You’re clearly not respecting her boundaries with payment dates. The woman is running her business she has her own bills to pay. She is right if you can’t pay on time you probably shouldn’t be going on holiday before it. Sort it out and stop moaning because she called you out on it. I’d be mortified to post all this on here.

ParmaVioletTea · 05/12/2025 09:14

YABU. Totally

You’re lucky she keeps you as a client.

ShizIsWicked · 05/12/2025 09:14

Wow you are entitled!

If she is still turning up on time, looking after your child well, she is being over professional. I wouldn't have the audacity or the confidence to leave my kids with someone I have done this to. Hasn't earned it lmao she's had £100's so at least 20 days late paying????

whiteroseredrose · 05/12/2025 09:16

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Good grief. Set up a standing order. Would you like to have to keep reminding your employer to pay you?

Oops, you’ve missed your mortgage payment, sorry but that’s your fault for not reminding the payroll team.

Ohhhtheshameofit · 05/12/2025 09:17

YABU. If I was her, I’d be furious that an apparently fully functioning adult couldn’t be arsed to pay me on time, but could organise herself a holiday? I don’t blame her at all. And, let’s be honest op, if you hadn’t done anything wrong, you’d have nothing to be embarrassed about.

wrongthinker · 05/12/2025 09:18

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

OMG pay her on time! She's obviously struggling to account for the fact that you consistently pay late. You could avoid the £10 late fee by actually paying her when you're supposed to. She's done nothing wrong here.

Shedeboodinia · 05/12/2025 09:18

Imagine your work paying you late by a few days, you struggle through the weekend budgeting your food and cancelling the nice thing you had planned. Then your boss swans in on Monday having been on a fun weekend away and youve seen pictures of him jollying it up, dumps a load of work on your desk and doesnt even mention your wages.
Pay her on time.

Cordeliasdemonbabies · 05/12/2025 09:20

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

It is incredibly disrespectful of you to pay late multiple times. Once is bad enough and you should be grovelling let along keep doing it and expecting her to send you reminders like she is your PA.

She will have bills to pay and you may well be causing hardship, penalty banking fees and so on for her by paying late. Of course she should charge late fees.

The extra £100 has been earned through extra work chasing you, extra stress in managing her cash flow and extra good faith in not dropping you at short notice.

JoWilkinsonsno1fan · 05/12/2025 09:22

You have absolutely no insight into the impact this may be causing her and her family do you? This is her income, this is the way she pays her bills? How would you feel if you had to remind your boss repeatedly to pay you?

I think the childminder should ask you to leave - especially after your 2nd update, where she has had to put 10 charge on your bill. FFS grow up and pay her properly.

ShizIsWicked · 05/12/2025 09:22

100% with you!

Unicorntearsofgin · 05/12/2025 09:22

Would you be happy to chase your employer for payment every month and have it late? Would your rent or mortgage accept late payments? If not then obviously set reminders and pay on time.

Shedeboodinia · 05/12/2025 09:23

Good luck with nursery when you get charged £10 for 10 minutes late and £1 for every minute thereafter.

99bottlesofkombucha · 05/12/2025 09:23

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Excuse me? She bloody well earned her late fees, and then some for also having to put up with attitude like yours.

Barnbrack · 05/12/2025 09:23

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

It's easily £10 worth of admin work to chase you monthly.

vickylou78 · 05/12/2025 09:24

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Does this mean you've paid her late 10 times!!!

ThatCyanCat · 05/12/2025 09:25

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

So you've been at least ten cumulative days late in paying her overall? And chasing you for the money and having to deal with the restricted cash flow doesn't deserve compensation?

ShizIsWicked · 05/12/2025 09:25

This! You sound how I feel. I can't believe there are people thinking this is acceptable. She has literally come back from a holiday and not paid her, then is embarrassed for being called out? Not worried that the woman she regularly screws over is going to look after her 1 year old.

99bottlesofkombucha · 05/12/2025 09:25

ParmaVioletTea · 05/12/2025 09:12

So it was Thursday, 3 days after payment was due?

I’m not sure your childminder is the unprofessional one here.

Why the uncertainty? The childminder is very professional but increasingly frustrated. The op is a nightmare parent.
I volunteer on the committee for our not for profit childcare. I’d have authorised the director to give you warning that the next late payment would lose your place. We don’t need parents who don’t value the service and care we provide.