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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

FiL crawling round on work video call

306 replies

RuralStyleless · 04/12/2025 21:30

drunk leonardo dicaprio GIF

Am I being over-sensitive here?
I was on a video call this morning when my 73yo FIL came to get some things from the room. I realised, muted, said I was on a call and assumed he would wait until I said I was free. A minute later, I realise he has come inside and is crawling around trying not to be seen (he absolutely would have been seen). It was an external call, so not even colleagues I could laugh it off with). I'm absolutely livid.

For context, my study / home office is used as our guest room. This is not normally an issue. I had also warned him I was starting work and had to be on video calls 30 minutes earlier.

YABU - he is old, doesn't get tech, and no one said anything
YANBU - what sort of idiot does that?

OP posts:
Pukkajones · 05/12/2025 11:05

Sorry, but that is hilarious! At that age I would let it go, but tell him he could be seen and not to do it again!

Namechangerage · 05/12/2025 11:12

RuralStyleless · 05/12/2025 11:02

I was focusing on my call?

Show quote history

I would have had to mute and cut the camera and say “GET OUT” then blame the wifi 🤣

Namechangerage · 05/12/2025 11:13

But seriously OP - you should get an internal bolt on the door. Install it while they are there and then actually use it whenever he is in the house!

jollygreenpea · 05/12/2025 11:18

This reminds me of the time when the father was doing a live interview and both children came marching in.
Virtually everyone found the funny side to it including the family.

CruCru · 05/12/2025 11:29

Some of the responses on here are a bit strange. It would be awesome if the OP had a whole separate room / floor / wing for guests to stay but she doesn’t. If people want to stay, they have to stay in her office.

Part of the problem is that few houses in the UK were designed to have people working in them. The concept of WFH was a bit alien to the Georgians / Victorians (apart, perhaps, for authors).

A couple of the posts make me think that the posters are in jobs that don’t really work if they are done from home. If it is a big deal to have someone appear behind you in a meeting, then that implies that the subject matter is very important and / or confidential.

jollygreenpea · 05/12/2025 11:33

A 73 yo that can commando crawl, retrieve something, turn and crawl out and is confident they can stand up is doing alright by me.
Plenty a lot younger couldn't do that.

GasPanic · 05/12/2025 12:16

Surely if you were in the SAS or something it would be an asset to have family members crawling all over the floor like this on a work call.

What he making "hurr hurr" noises while he did it while pretending to hold a rifle ?

LittleBitofBread · 05/12/2025 13:09

CruCru · 05/12/2025 11:29

Some of the responses on here are a bit strange. It would be awesome if the OP had a whole separate room / floor / wing for guests to stay but she doesn’t. If people want to stay, they have to stay in her office.

Part of the problem is that few houses in the UK were designed to have people working in them. The concept of WFH was a bit alien to the Georgians / Victorians (apart, perhaps, for authors).

A couple of the posts make me think that the posters are in jobs that don’t really work if they are done from home. If it is a big deal to have someone appear behind you in a meeting, then that implies that the subject matter is very important and / or confidential.

The concept of WFH was a bit alien to the Georgians / Victorians (apart, perhaps, for authors)

WFH was quite common in the 19th century for pieceworkers in areas including seamstressing and making small items.

WiddlinDiddlin · 05/12/2025 13:42

Mm, WFH was very common for both rich and poor - the wealthy having a study or office at home, the poor using their living space to do all sorts of jobs!

The Victorian semi i grew up in had a study - we converted it into a bedroom of course but it was on the original plans as a study, and unlike the actual bedrooms, did not have a sink.

MustWeDoThis · 05/12/2025 14:20

RuralStyleless · 04/12/2025 21:30

Am I being over-sensitive here?
I was on a video call this morning when my 73yo FIL came to get some things from the room. I realised, muted, said I was on a call and assumed he would wait until I said I was free. A minute later, I realise he has come inside and is crawling around trying not to be seen (he absolutely would have been seen). It was an external call, so not even colleagues I could laugh it off with). I'm absolutely livid.

For context, my study / home office is used as our guest room. This is not normally an issue. I had also warned him I was starting work and had to be on video calls 30 minutes earlier.

YABU - he is old, doesn't get tech, and no one said anything
YANBU - what sort of idiot does that?

Stop being awkward and move your laptop.

You're both at fault, but don't put presumptions on guests when it comes to not entering the room. WFH is a privilege (I also WFH)...just let it go.

Carycach4 · 05/12/2025 14:22

So funny! Op you will have made someone's day!

LittleBitofBread · 05/12/2025 14:22

MustWeDoThis · 05/12/2025 14:20

Stop being awkward and move your laptop.

You're both at fault, but don't put presumptions on guests when it comes to not entering the room. WFH is a privilege (I also WFH)...just let it go.

Show quote history

Yes, what a 'presumption', eh – please get your stuff out of your room or give me an hour or so of privacy while I'm in a meeting. Hmm Grin

PurpleThistle7 · 05/12/2025 14:42

We have an office guest room too but when we are hosting my husband works elsewhere as it’s appears too difficult for our parents to understand working at home as a concept. It seems really tricky for them to respect in the same way they’d understand working in an office

Alliod40 · 05/12/2025 14:44

This reply has been deleted

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Alliod40 · 05/12/2025 14:55

Ah now reporting my comment lol the truth hurts..poor you though..I stand by what I said though

Piknik · 05/12/2025 15:37

OP at the beginning of Covid, a friend was on a Zoom with clients. She was freelance so didn't even know the agency people she was working for that well and have never met the clients. Zoom was quite new and my friend had shut the kitchen door (working from the kitchen table) to concentrate. Her mother came in, walked up and stood looking over her shoulder and asked in a loud voice (mic on) "what on earth are you watching? It looks awful". When friend tried to 'sshhhush her', her mum said again, " but it looks so boring - just loads of rather unattractive people in boxes. Is it celebrity squares because I don't know any of those?".

Sounds like a lie but actually happened exactly like that. Nobody laughed. Friend died a bit,

We cry with laughter about it now.

Fuzzymuddle33 · 05/12/2025 15:46

I think this is brilliant!! It’s hilarious and it’s a Friday, no one will care

if your job was sensitive then you woudnt be risk assessed to work from home.

no biggie

i accept it isn’t ideal for you and maybe have a gentle word re ‘next time’

Bluedenimdoglover · 05/12/2025 15:51

Too late to worry about it now. Get a lock for the door and use it when you need privacy for calls.

user1467114819 · 05/12/2025 15:54

my mum did this to me once .. but walked by the camera in her BRA I immediately told her I was on camera she then decided to commando crawl behind me - I was mortified - the joys of wfh

Livpool · 05/12/2025 15:57

I’d have laughed my head off. I started a new job this week and they heard me say ‘love you’ to my son. Everyone laughed

MummaMummaMumma · 05/12/2025 15:59

Absolutely livid is very over the top. I'd have found that hilarious and adorable.
He didn't mean any harm, just explain why he can't do it again. He likely had no idea he could be seen.

Summertimesadnessishere · 05/12/2025 16:16

Marinade · 05/12/2025 00:26

You were totally reasonable to be livid though, that is mortifying. With external people and it was completely avoidable. Whatever he needed could wait. I would have been really annoyed, ignore the 'holier than though' folks who never put a foot wrong or experience a normal array of human emotions....

Show quote history

I’m glad you can see the funny side. Livid sounds a bit strong. I work at home in my own office and often have teams calls with clients and it’s a professional environment where I’d not expect to be interrupted. How I felt would depend on how important the call was. If I’m honest the only reason I’d be upset is if I myself was already a bit anxious and might be presenting and if it was quite formal/ senior execs / c suite which might make the humour side of things tricky.

But in the grand scheme of life , it’s just a 73 year old man with his trousers missing. He doesn’t put the same onus on your important call as you do as he has probably lived and experienced enough to know it’s all just a load of work bollocks. I can imagine my own Dad doing something crazy like this. I didn’t understand however why your background/ blur function didn’t work? Usually it works to some distance and be would have to be right where you are to the camera to be seen? So are you saying it was switched on but it wasn’t effective?

I don’t know what type of call you were on but unless it was highly confidential I think if handled correctly you can deal with it like a professional would. I’ve been on a big sales pitch before where our Head of Sales’s small daughter came in mid pitch as he was talking to give him a hug - he smiled, put his arms around her and just carried on. It was such a sweet moment that I think everyone on that call saw he was human and even more likeable for the way he dealt with that situation. And whilst we are not talking about a small child here, we are talking about an older man, maybe a bit dippy / bothered who just wants his trousers, your ability to respond in that moment just says everything about you rather than him in my view. I hope you can lighten up and not resent him too much more. It really is not a big deal.

Wingingit73 · 05/12/2025 17:08

Annoying. Also...hilarious

LittleBitofBread · 05/12/2025 17:17

MummaMummaMumma · 05/12/2025 15:59

Absolutely livid is very over the top. I'd have found that hilarious and adorable.
He didn't mean any harm, just explain why he can't do it again. He likely had no idea he could be seen.

Not the point. He shouldn't have come in.

eatingandeating24 · 05/12/2025 17:42

Explain and help him appreciate the nature of your work and especially your work on the phone. Maybe, the husband's help is need to explain this? If someone thinks naively that a personal is "just talking", she/he might wander in for whatever or anything trivial.