FiL crawling round on work video call

[RuralStyleless]

Am I being over-sensitive here?
I was on a video call this morning when my 73yo FIL came to get some things from the room. I realised, muted, said I was on a call and assumed he would wait until I said I was free. A minute later, I realise he has come inside and is crawling around trying not to be seen (he absolutely would have been seen). It was an external call, so not even colleagues I could laugh it off with). I'm absolutely livid.

For context, my study / home office is used as our guest room. This is not normally an issue. I had also warned him I was starting work and had to be on video calls 30 minutes earlier.

YABU - he is old, doesn't get tech, and no one said anything
YANBU - what sort of idiot does that?

I voted YANBU but changed my mind when I realized he was a guest staying in the guest room.

You should probably have put his bed somewhere else in the whole rest of the house, then, not somewhere he’s kicked out of at daybreak.
You are not being half as hospitable as you clearly think you are.

You're not being unreasonable OP. You have to work while your guests are there. I'm sure they're aware of your setup and if they didn't like it they could stay at a hotel. My brothers computer is in his guest room. He isn't working when I stay but if he was I absolutely would get my ass out of there. I wouldn't dream of going in while he's working. Do people have manners anymore?

No, not really. It's exactly my set up. Likewise, if I've a call I make it known (in case they need anything) and would expect adults to behave appropriately. What is so urgent it HAD to be retrieved at that point?

Bless him...lol....he thought no one could see him.

Solidarity OP, this is our set up too (office doubles as a guest room at a pinch). This is the reality of small UK houses, family needs, and the demands of WFH. I don’t understand some of the PPs here - what do they think we should put visitors in, a tent? Not everyone has huge houses (and/or no kids) with spare rooms for guests, but we do still have people who ask/prefer to come stay over rather than stay in a hotel. We do our best.

It being your set up too doesn’t make it not odd 😆

I would have turned off the camera briefly and let him get whatever he needed.

I would just laugh it off and put it down to an older generation not understanding.

Always use a teams backdrop then noone sees anything....

But yes what a DH he is.

If people dont find this very, very funny then they're an idiot
There's nothing bad happened here, at all

If he was being quiet I am not sure what the issue is, as people walk around behind colleagues in offices and it is fine.

I think if you’re having someone stay when you’re working you need to temporarily set up a make-shift office in your own bedroom for that period.

A 73 year old crawling round on the floor as he wanted something from his own bedroom is actually very considerate. Can’t imagine it was that easy getting up or down at 73.

However that generation won’t quite “get” they are interrupting you. A few years back my dad would forever just turn up at my house and expect to pop in for a cuppa or a chat middle of the day. I had to tell him to call me as I would be working and wasn’t just sitting around. He turned up one day and I was on a call, I managed to answer the ring doorbell and tell him I couldn’t answer the front door and he’d need to head home. It was an external customer call.

Years later he still tells me he needs an appointment to see his daughter - ignoring in his day, we didn’t just waltz into his office at work and he wasn’t even contactable! Haha

I'm so sorry OP, this made me laugh a LOT (thank you, it was badly needed!) but you are definitely NBU.
You are also not a bad host! It's your bloody house and you have the right to use any room you want to for whatever purpose you choose!
Ignore all the sanctimonious commentators, he was was totally out of order but I'm sure it left the other people on the call with an enduring image and a smile.

Me and my husband both wfh, me from the back bedroom which has a futon bed and him from the spare room which is first choice for guests. My mum was here a couple of weeks ago and was staying in the spare room so hubby moved his stuff and shared my 'office' for the week. I wouldnt expect a guest to be up and out of their bedroom for the day. If you cant move out then maybe dont offer to put FiL up as you dont have space, or, what's wrong with backgrounds on Teams, there are plenty available!

I've stayed in guest rooms that are home offices during the day. What kind of a guest is loitering about in their guest room during the day - anti-social much - my handbag has everything I would need, I would just take that and vacate the room after I was up and dressed. Most people don't have the luxury of having such a palacial house that they have both and office and a guest bed unless they are older - he should just be grateful he's not on a sofa bed - which of course would be packed up during the day

Is he one of those people who don't understand the 'working' bit of 'working from home'? Or does he understand that work calls are not calls you make to have a nice little chat between tasks? Or that women's work is still.'work'?

Is he inclined to be an attention seeker?

My mother has done this to my dh. Does the dithery old lady act when she knows he working. He's very patient laughs it off has introduced her on calls (he's a better person than me!!).

OP specifically asked her FIL not to come into her office for the duration of her work call. Unless he has cognitive issues which OP hasn't mentioned, he could have made sure that he took what he needed from his room before OP began her work call.

You “warned” him ? Freudian Slip perhaps ? Sounds a bit disrespectful to me. Perhaps the ‘old’ chap was simply being a bit disrespectful in return?

I’ve clicked not unreasonable because he crossed a line when you’re working, however, it is where he’s sleeping so in that way I’m not sure. I can see both side I think but it does depend on what he was getting

Yes weird but I would have put a background on. We have to do this anyway for work.

A background is not compulsory for us, its up to the individual. I don't put a background on even when I'm doing a 1-1 call with my manager because usually there is nothing behind me apart from a blank wall.

Don't you have a virtual background that you can switch on in these circumstances? Then he wouldn't be visible.
Alternatively- excuse yourself for 30 seconds, turn off camera and mic, turn around, ask FIL to leave as it's an important call. No different from "stepping outside" briefly to attend to another matter.
Surely everyone on a call understands that now and again someone wanders through the background of a participant's screen.
I think you're furious because the culprit is FIL (rather than another family member). Maybe you don't like him or he's inconsiderate in other ways. That's fair enough, too!

If it’s Teams, your camera is not properly set up if it “sees” people at a distance - fil crawling on the floor should not have been picked up unless you were sitting on the floor and he was directly over your shoulder. DDog wanders in and out of our office frequently, and is only ever on camera if he comes and puts his nose on my desk (large breed, probably the size of a small fil).

My daughter is WFH and just puts a Do Not Disturb sign on her door when she is in a meeting.