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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is husband right that I need psychological help? (Won’t eat outside of home)

403 replies

Melessah · 04/12/2025 15:44

When I was 19 I had a very traumatic experience. I found half a mouse in a ready meal I had bought from a supermarket. It was in a curry. I created a post on twitter and a couple of papers actually picked up the story.

if was obviously very upsetting. I was a university student at the time living off ready meals. After that experience I refused to eat from restaurants, takeaways or supermarkets. I won’t even eat crisps. Everything I eat needs to be 100% “safe”.

Everything I eat is home cooked. I would never buy a ready meal again. I don’t even buy bread from a supermarket. I eat potatoes as my main carb. I eat a lot of eggs (from my mum’s chickens).

Husband obviously knew what he was signing up for when he married me. I do not see myself ever letting my guard down.

Anyway, we were on holiday and he really lost his cool with me. I was eating fruit and boiled eggs and he told me I need help. And that he was getting tired by my the restrictions I place on myself and therefore him.

I have spoken to a psychologist but it didn’t help. I don’t want to be like this. Who is the one that is being unreasonable

OP posts:
HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 06/12/2025 10:03

Resiliencerequired · 05/12/2025 16:02

I’m frustrated that so many people on this thread seem to be thinking that OP is acting in a deliberate way. EDs are an illness, you wouldn’t be so unsympathetic to somebody with a broken leg.

The OP can’t help the way she acts and it’s not as easy as just breaking her habits and changing overnight. An ED is like the grim reaper sitting on your shoulder shouting at you not to do something - even though it’s irrational and illogical.

OP you have my absolute sympathies but do seek professional help again - it’s normal to go forwards and backwards and it’s normal to bury your head in the sand and/or find it insanely difficult.

EDs are the only illness that teach your brain that what you are doing is acceptable and good for you - that’s why they thrive. In fact, the opposite is true.

It’s typical MN I’m afraid. There is very little sympathy for ED which involve someone restricting or avoiding certain foods.
I have ARFID and have offered support to others on relevant threads and I’ve been told:

I eat like a toddler and need to grow up
I’m boring
I’m attention seeking
I’m selfish and ruin restaurant experiences for others
I’ll never travel because I refuse to try new food (I actually travel internationally for work 🤷🏼‍♀️)

and the most bizarre… I must be really boring in bed!

There isn’t much sympathy for this type of ED on here.

RubyBiscuit1 · 10/04/2026 19:38

How have you been since you started the thread @Melessah ?

It sounds like an utterly horrific experience and I feel so sorry for you

RampantIvy · 11/04/2026 09:16

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 06/12/2025 10:03

It’s typical MN I’m afraid. There is very little sympathy for ED which involve someone restricting or avoiding certain foods.
I have ARFID and have offered support to others on relevant threads and I’ve been told:

I eat like a toddler and need to grow up
I’m boring
I’m attention seeking
I’m selfish and ruin restaurant experiences for others
I’ll never travel because I refuse to try new food (I actually travel internationally for work 🤷🏼‍♀️)

and the most bizarre… I must be really boring in bed!

There isn’t much sympathy for this type of ED on here.

I think in many cases it isn't lack of sympathy, but lack of understanding, especially from people who enjoy a wide variety of tastes and textures.

It is frustrating that there is so little help for these issues.

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