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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think its scary how messed up and horrible some people are?

141 replies

girlfriend44 · 04/12/2025 12:34

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj4q9pxyv7go.amp

Poor women having to deal with him.
Is there any point to his life.
Dosent seem like he wants to live himself?

A mugshot of Jonty Bravery, who is wearing a grey shirt. He is staring at the camera and has a beard and short, blonde hair.

Man who threw boy from Tate Modern assaulted Broadmoor nurses - BBC News

Jonty Bravery was given a life sentence for hurting the boy and is being held at Broadmoor Hospital.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj4q9pxyv7go.amp

OP posts:
Bambamhoohoo · 04/12/2025 15:35

TallulahBetty · 04/12/2025 15:17

Why do we have to accommodate him?

Who is we?! You mean you. You don’t represent humankind and don’t have any power to change things. What’s the point in the question?

SpaceRaccoon · 04/12/2025 15:36

lemonts · 04/12/2025 15:31

Musk is in no way an example of how great humans can be. In fact he is probably far closer to JB than the general population in terms of personality and ND.

Musk has made huge contributions to tech innovation, and it's a bit grotesque to compare someone whose opinions you dislike to a deranged criminal.

Bambamhoohoo · 04/12/2025 15:40

NeedANapAgain · 04/12/2025 15:24

But he planned it, so he has some control. There was a recording of a therapy session where he said he wanted to throw someone off a building - one year before he acted. And the day before he was at the Tate, he googled killing people and whether his autism would have an impact on sentencing. He has huge culpability for this.

He has complete culpability. He was sentenced as someone in complete control of their crimes. He has quite rightly had no concession for his mental state.

MrFluffyDogIsMyBestFriend · 04/12/2025 15:40

girlfriend44 · 04/12/2025 14:05

Not all autistic people are like him though?

There should be different diagnoses. How can I have the same diagnosis as this monster?

Also I find it very difficult to believe that he is autistic because psychopathy and certainly the type of autism I have are completely at odds. I feel guilty if it raining because my dog doesn't like it. My whole life is anxiety and guilt. Probably like many autistics/sensitives.

TallulahBetty · 04/12/2025 15:47

Bambamhoohoo · 04/12/2025 15:35

Who is we?! You mean you. You don’t represent humankind and don’t have any power to change things. What’s the point in the question?

Did you mean to quote me? I didn't say 'we' in the first place. I was questioning it.

Bambamhoohoo · 04/12/2025 15:47

PinkyFlamingo · 04/12/2025 15:27

If a poster posted that her partner had attacked her by kicking her in the thigh and clawing her face and someone tried to stick up for him by going on about his mental health problems , well they would be riasted.
Yet this man has dud this to two women and it's "oh he's really mentally ill". Noone knows that, firstly psychopathy is a personality disorder and nowhere in the article does it say anything else apart from needing his current mental health condition assessed

I feel like you’ve completely misinterpreted the discussion- wouldn’t it be so easy and basic to make excuses for DA MAN or alternatively get hysterical about what a cunt he is? But also what a boring discussion.

isn’t the harder thing to have a more nuanced discussion, acknowledging these people exist and we can’t control them or their existence?

why do we need to keep getting dragged back to basics with you demanding to know why people who aren’t in the slightest sympathetic, are sympathetic to him? It’s a nonsense really.

Bambamhoohoo · 04/12/2025 15:49

TallulahBetty · 04/12/2025 15:47

Did you mean to quote me? I didn't say 'we' in the first place. I was questioning it.

You said

“Why do we have to accommodate him?”

What were you referring to? The quoted post says nothing about accommodating him.

edited to say apologies you had just picked up a little bit of another (longer, well thought out) post and made an easy challenge you don’t really want an answer to. It didn’t look like that the first time I saw it

ExpressCheckout · 04/12/2025 15:52

Just to be clear, I would not leave a child in the care of someone who thinks the death penalty, or some of the other punishments suggested here, is acceptable.

But seriously, calling for the execution of someone who is mentally ill? Who is next, disabled people?

Surveys actually show that the loudest “hang them” voices are disproportionately among Brexit and Reform supporters.

Yet Brexit itself has caused roughly 1,485 extra deaths per year in NHS hospitals because EU nurses left the UK.

So if we are going to talk about “justice,” perhaps you should think a bit more about your own choices and their consequences, too.

Otherwise, it looks like hypocrisy dressed up as morality.

Source: https://www.surrey.ac.uk/news/brexit-has-caused-1485-additional-deaths-year-due-eu-nurses-leaving-uk

Brexit has caused 1,485 additional deaths per year due to EU nurses leaving the UK | University of Surrey

Brexit linked to 1,485 extra deaths annually in the UK, as EU nurses leave the workforce, highlighting critical healthcare staffing and patient care challenges.

https://www.surrey.ac.uk/news/brexit-has-caused-1485-additional-deaths-year-due-eu-nurses-leaving-uk

lemonts · 04/12/2025 15:53

SpaceRaccoon · 04/12/2025 15:36

Musk has made huge contributions to tech innovation, and it's a bit grotesque to compare someone whose opinions you dislike to a deranged criminal.

IMO Musk has made huge contributions to filling his own coffers through strategic investment. I am yet to see any evidence of his brilliance as an innovator or engineer for example. It's not his opinions I am talking about it is his ND and inability to relate to other humans in a typical way that puts him in a category with JB. Psychopathy is frequently identified amongst business leaders doesn't mean they are going to be murderers. I maintain that in terms of personality and ND profile Musk has more in common with JB than he does with the man on the street. That is not to say that I think he has the same violent tendencies and it wasnt my intention to suggest that,

Luckyingame · 04/12/2025 16:12

girlfriend44 · 04/12/2025 12:52

Wonder how he got that way?
Sad for his parents too.

How he got that way? Bastard is 24?
Aside of his apparent low intelligence, I would look at the parents. Always.

Bambamhoohoo · 04/12/2025 16:15

Luckyingame · 04/12/2025 16:12

How he got that way? Bastard is 24?
Aside of his apparent low intelligence, I would look at the parents. Always.

What does this post mean? He’s been unmanageable since he was a teenager.

apparently His dad was a campaigner for parents of autistic children to get more support. They got little until he had to be removed from them because he was so violent.

Luckyingame · 04/12/2025 16:20

Bambamhoohoo · 04/12/2025 16:15

What does this post mean? He’s been unmanageable since he was a teenager.

apparently His dad was a campaigner for parents of autistic children to get more support. They got little until he had to be removed from them because he was so violent.

I didn't know this.
Usually when parents are abusive, stuff happens to people and comes out later.
Why was he unmanageable?

Bambamhoohoo · 04/12/2025 16:21

Luckyingame · 04/12/2025 16:20

I didn't know this.
Usually when parents are abusive, stuff happens to people and comes out later.
Why was he unmanageable?

He was violent. Always has been. It become unmanageable when he was so big he couldn’t be controlled by his parents

mumofoneAloneandwell · 04/12/2025 16:22

The headline is a little misleading, he was trying to kill himself, he didnt just go up and attack someone

Still, he is better off far away from the rest of us

Mental health nursing is overlooked but is one of the most important jobs in our society

Bambamhoohoo · 04/12/2025 16:24

mumofoneAloneandwell · 04/12/2025 16:22

The headline is a little misleading, he was trying to kill himself, he didnt just go up and attack someone

Still, he is better off far away from the rest of us

Mental health nursing is overlooked but is one of the most important jobs in our society

It really is. Unnoticed but so important

NeedANapAgain · 04/12/2025 16:26

Luckyingame · 04/12/2025 16:12

How he got that way? Bastard is 24?
Aside of his apparent low intelligence, I would look at the parents. Always.

Easy as that is, psychopathy is a combination of both genetics and environment, ie, an astonishing amount of violent criminals have an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex. There have also been numerous studies that show therapy, medication, etc., have very limited, if any, positive effect.

So if you have a child that shows no empathy, no remorse, and has violent thoughts/actions, what do you do?

MotherWol · 04/12/2025 16:31

OliviaBonas · 04/12/2025 13:12

This is what I think too. Tell them they’ll never be released and discuss possible options if they want to make a different choice to life imprisonment. He’s 24 and could live to 100 odd. 3 members of staff 24 hours a day for the next 80 years potentially seems an unfathomable amount of money.

We don't have capital punishment in the UK, and it would be completely unethical, having abolished it, to give lifetime custodial sentences but then say to prisoners "if you don't like it, you can choose to end your life". That would just be passing responsibility for something the judicial system cannot bring itself to do.

FlyingApple · 04/12/2025 16:34

I don't understand why we allow him to carry on living and there's no satisfactory answer as to why.

HectorPlasm · 04/12/2025 16:36

The twats who decided a nice day out at the Tate was a good idea should be in prison

Youdontseehow · 04/12/2025 16:38

HRTQueen · 04/12/2025 13:48

What are you suggesting we put down people who can't adjust to living in the community

He should not have been out with just two staff when the horrific incident took place in 2019 and taking him to a place where there will be a lot of people was poorly thought out

Edited

It was my understanding that he was out on his own at the time of the Tate incident. He had been “two to one” but was given more freedoms as he was deemed to be not a risk to others.

I think some people just cannot Bev”rehabilitated” or “cured” but some professionals just don’t want to believe that.

dimple285 · 04/12/2025 16:42

The Telegraph said he put faeces in his mother's make up.

The problem we have is that there is no expert residential provision for autistic people at risk of developing a personality disorder (JB was diagnosed with conduct disorder which meant he was at risk of developing a personality disorder).

A lot of his behaviour was considered attention seeking due to his autism including saying he wanted to kill members of his family and not considered in light of his conduct disorder diagnosis.

He was passed around from provision to provision, often hours and hours away from his family. He threw the boy off the Tate because he wanted to be on tv to get the message across about how unsuitable his provision was.

He said he was going to the supermarket and was allowed out alone because his behaviour had supposedly improved so much despite there having been 8 assaults in the previous 2 and a half years.

We really need to look at how we provide for people with ASD that are at risk of developing personality disorders - what do we do with these people and why is there no provision for them?

Bambamhoohoo · 04/12/2025 16:42

Youdontseehow · 04/12/2025 16:38

It was my understanding that he was out on his own at the time of the Tate incident. He had been “two to one” but was given more freedoms as he was deemed to be not a risk to others.

I think some people just cannot Bev”rehabilitated” or “cured” but some professionals just don’t want to believe that.

It’s well acknowledged that there is no rehabilitating him. I don’t think professionals shy away from that?

It’s very common for people to just need to aim to lead the best life they can but for that not to look anything like an average life.

Dollymylove · 04/12/2025 16:42

Female staff should not be forced to deal with him. I know some people get huffy when its pointed out, but females do not have the same strength and stamina as males. He needs big burly guards who take no shit.
Never mind his bloody yuman rites 😡😡

Bambamhoohoo · 04/12/2025 16:43

FlyingApple · 04/12/2025 16:34

I don't understand why we allow him to carry on living and there's no satisfactory answer as to why.

”the British legal system” isn’t a satisfactory answer for you?!? 😭

FlyingApple · 04/12/2025 16:44

Bambamhoohoo · 04/12/2025 16:43

”the British legal system” isn’t a satisfactory answer for you?!? 😭

Not at all.