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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
Bellaboo01 · 03/12/2025 17:15

morden123 · 03/12/2025 14:01

When I was about 9 (many moons ago) I went every week to a gift shop to pay off a Christmas present for my mum and dad, a little old man and lady in rocking chairs money boxes. Mum and Dad were only in their early 40's!!!, they had the good grace to not say anything bad

OMG - i absolutely love this. I bet they also loved it XX

FluentTealGuide · 03/12/2025 17:15

Inthedeep · 03/12/2025 16:48

Thats so sweet, you could always say it’s kept in your bedroom because it’s SO special, you’d hate for it to run the risk of being broken downstairs. I was quite ruthless and chucked out all the handmade items I’d made my Mum as a child this year, little clay pots, ohhhh and lots of Fimo jewellery (think chunky bead bracelets and flower broaches). She wouldn’t do it herself as she didn’t want to hurt my feelings, however she’s moved and they were just packed away in boxes. She’d never want to wear them 😂. I made sure she’s kept my Fimo Mary to display at Christmas though 🤣

My mum still has a wonky clay dinosaur I made and gifted her one year, and a cat my sister made out of screwed up newspaper and sellotape, both of which are coated in dust on a shelf in the living room. If they ever did get dusted, I’d expect them to disintegrate (especially the sellotape one!) We’re both in our thirties now 😂

SarahAndQuack · 03/12/2025 17:16

When I was little my mum's brother always sent her posh flowers at Christmas. One year it was these amazing fancy orchids in bright purples and oranges - I remember being fascinated and dazzled by the glamour of them. My mum was inexplicably short on wonder, and as the years went by and the bouquets got more and more ostentatious, she got more angry. One year she lost it and declared to all of us that she loved flowers, of course, but she liked proper garden roses and scented herbs and things like what I picked for her from the garden in the summer.

What she actually meant was she thought her brother was flashing his cash, but I didn't realise this. I thought I could save the day by getting her flowers she actually liked.

I spent ages working out where you could source English roses and so on from. a florist in December. Proudly saved up for a very fancy bouquet. It arrived, in its fancy florist box, and my mum promptly Lost Her Shit and heaved it, unopened, into the rubbish bin, on the assumption it was more showy flowers from my uncle.

Later on it all came out, and my dad explained to me in this puzzled way that it should have been obvious to me she just didn't want flowers at Christmastime. ... but as a young teenager (which I was) it hadn't been obvious at all!

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 03/12/2025 17:17

Grammarnut · 03/12/2025 14:25

Your sister is weird. Why would you pull all the crackers?

The OP is weirder: how is a box of Christmas crackers a gift for one person when they're designed to be given to everyone at the table?

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 03/12/2025 17:18

NoKnit · 03/12/2025 14:25

Not quite giving but receiving. A gift I received was what I thought was homemade bath salts so I used them in the bath. I later discovered they were actually a spice mix for steaks/pork chops etc. I felt like a bit of a wally when I found out.

That’s like the old urban myth of making gravy with granddads ashes. 😂

EmeraldRoulette · 03/12/2025 17:18

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 15:36

Haha, no. She thought nobody could be stupid enough to give crackers as a gift, so thought it had to be for the 'presents' within. She was very pleased with herself for having 'worked it out'. She must have been very disappointed with the contents.

Sorry, I'm still confused

You intended the crackers to be a gift for your sister personally? It wasn't a table gift and there was nothing else?

so I actually, she did better by keeping the contents of the crackers by herself, to herself?

i'm not criticising, I'm actually relieved that I don't have all this Christmas stuff to deal with.

Tarteaucitronmerinquee · 03/12/2025 17:20

WallaceinAnderland · 03/12/2025 15:27

Years ago when I was about 7 I bought a hairnet for my nan for 3p and a tin of dog food for her dog for 6p 😂

Aw that’s lovely

Snugglemonkey · 03/12/2025 17:20

ConnieHeart · 03/12/2025 16:23

My late in laws once received a wrapped Christmas present which they put under their tree. About a week later they could smell this really unpleasant smell & couldn't work.out where it was coming from. They then realised days later it was coming from the present. They opened it to find a selection of mouldy cheeses! The giver obviously hadn't told them to keep the gift refrigerated!

This happened to me! A wheel of brie. I woukd have really enjoyed it too before it was melted by the radiator beside the christmas tree 😔

DanialLand · 03/12/2025 17:21

morden123 · 03/12/2025 14:01

When I was about 9 (many moons ago) I went every week to a gift shop to pay off a Christmas present for my mum and dad, a little old man and lady in rocking chairs money boxes. Mum and Dad were only in their early 40's!!!, they had the good grace to not say anything bad

Aw I would love something like this as a present. Especially if it came from one of my kids. I think that’s a lovely gift (I’m 45)

CustardySergeant · 03/12/2025 17:22

BootsandCatss · 03/12/2025 17:08

I bought my nan a candle with a necklace inside it, a few weeks later she brought the candle up in conversation saying it smelt lovely but it had a bit of foil in it that she had to dig out and throw away… so yes she had thrown away the necklace.

Did you tell her?

wordler · 03/12/2025 17:22

BernadetteJune · 03/12/2025 14:02

Bought an elderly relative a luxury damask tablecloth as they had been admiring ours which we got as a wedding present. They presumed we thought their table cloths were cheap and nasty. They stuck it in a draw and I don't think they have ever used it!

I'm sure your tablecloth was lovely but you have to be careful with buying things people admire in front of you, because sometimes it's just desperate small talk and sometimes it's to mask really disliking something but feeling panicked into saying something so revert to the opposite you are thinking!

I've done this with things to be polite. "Wow, that metal detecting workshop sounds like an amazing gift, how interesting." might be hiding "you've been boring on about this for hours, I can't think of anything else nice to say". Then, you end up with a gift card for it six months later!

JohnTheRevelator · 03/12/2025 17:22

FestiveFruitloop · 03/12/2025 14:46

Not me, but this just reminded me of a letter I read in a magazine once, where someone had bought their friend a nice glass spaghetti jar. On their next visit the jar was standing empty on the windowsill and the recipient said something along the lines of it was lovely but she didn't know what it was for.
'Oh, it's a spaghetti jar.'
The next time the gift giver visited the jar was full of Heinz spaghetti hoops.

In tomato sauce? 😂

oohyoudevilyou · 03/12/2025 17:22

My mum bought her Sil a lovely soft cream wrap, thinking it'd be nice for her to wear on cooler summer evenings. Sil took it completely the wrong way: Turns out they had struggled to conceive and were coming to terms with being childless. Sil never spoke to mum again as she took the gift to be a baby shawl and thought mum was being spiteful and rubbing their noses in their infertility.

My mum only found out years later after her Sil had told the whole family the story, from her viewpoint. Mum was heartbroken as she has no idea that they had been trying for a baby, and it had never occurred to her that the gift could be mistaken for a baby item. She tried to explain and apologise but her Sil refused to believe her

Sibc465 · 03/12/2025 17:23

When emptying my OHs house my mil asked me if she could have his metal egg holder shaped like a chicken… he didn’t and never had one. Explain this and she’s “gutted” she is sure he did!

anyway fast forward 6m later Xmas time. as part of her gift we purchased her one. She opened it looked at us both and said wtf have you got me that for. My eyes nearly went into the back of my head with the eye roll I did.

TheNeverEndingOver · 03/12/2025 17:27

BeaRightThere · 03/12/2025 17:13

It can't be real.

It’s definitely not real

CustardySergeant · 03/12/2025 17:28

oohyoudevilyou · 03/12/2025 17:22

My mum bought her Sil a lovely soft cream wrap, thinking it'd be nice for her to wear on cooler summer evenings. Sil took it completely the wrong way: Turns out they had struggled to conceive and were coming to terms with being childless. Sil never spoke to mum again as she took the gift to be a baby shawl and thought mum was being spiteful and rubbing their noses in their infertility.

My mum only found out years later after her Sil had told the whole family the story, from her viewpoint. Mum was heartbroken as she has no idea that they had been trying for a baby, and it had never occurred to her that the gift could be mistaken for a baby item. She tried to explain and apologise but her Sil refused to believe her

That's so sad for both of them.

Franklyannoyed · 03/12/2025 17:28

Sorry op but you proper made me laugh, it was the image of this woman bemusedly pulling Xmas crackers one by one, coupled with your clear affront about it and your obviously still hold the view it was a good idea. 😂

SarahAndQuack · 03/12/2025 17:29

Oh, that is so sad, @oohyoudevilyou. Awful on both sides.

If we are allowed to do sad ones as well: when my granny was very ill with terminal brain cancer in the hospice at Christmas, my mum scoured around to find her these sweets she'd always loved - orange and lemon jellies in the shape of orange and lemon slices. Mum was absolutely shattered from caring for her mother at this point - she'd just gone into the hospice a few days ago - and she felt really triumphant she had 1) remembered and 2) managed to get hold of one of the only things she could think of that her mother would still be able to understand and enjoy. Unfortunately, my granny was so far gone, and had been made to swallow so much medicine, that she couldn't understand they weren't pills. She heroically swallowed them down, obviously finding it painful, gasping 'done!' after each one, while we tried desperately to get them off her and tell her she could stop. She was so convinced they were medicine she needed to have that it was difficult.

I felt so much for both my mum and my granny.

Ilovepastafortea · 03/12/2025 17:29

Sorry to DH, but, he's given me some terrible presents in the past. The trouble was that he'd leave it until the last minute & one Christmas I ended up with a diary & a pen. Another Christmas (we're talking about 1990) the only shop that was open on Christmas Eve afternoon was Edinburgh Wool Mill. Their clothes start at size 12, I was a size 8. He spent a small fortune on an outfit that was 2 sizes to large for me - it was also a tweed jacket & skirt with a bouse, something that our Late Queen would wear not me.

To give him his due, he was running our 5 catering outlets, we had 3 DCs, he played rugby every weekend, practiced every week & we had our MIL to support. He didn't have much time off, but neither did I - but I always managed to get him things that he wanted.

He's learned to ask me what I want &, if necessary, to take me out with him to buy it. I had to head him away from buying me one of those LED facemask things and towards some Miss Dior perfume for example.

Climbingrosexx · 03/12/2025 17:32

Bought an elderly relative a mobile phone once as they said they would like one.Come Christmas morning they said a mobile phone is not something they would use and give me it back!

AmbeeBambee · 03/12/2025 17:33

morden123 · 03/12/2025 14:01

When I was about 9 (many moons ago) I went every week to a gift shop to pay off a Christmas present for my mum and dad, a little old man and lady in rocking chairs money boxes. Mum and Dad were only in their early 40's!!!, they had the good grace to not say anything bad

I went on a school trip when I was in primary school and decided to treat my mum and dad to a gift instead of my usual treat for myself. I chose a lovely set of 'boinking pig' salt and peppers because I thought they were cute. They said they were lovely but laughed so much years later telling me.

BeaRightThere · 03/12/2025 17:33

TheNeverEndingOver · 03/12/2025 17:27

It’s definitely not real

Many such cases

Calliopespa · 03/12/2025 17:34

Ilovepastafortea · 03/12/2025 17:14

Me too - I was desperate for a Sindy, but my (Child Psychologist) mother didn't approve of 'gender specific' toys. My cousin had a Wendy House with loads of Sindys, Patch & Sindy clothes, furniture etc (she wishes that she'd kept it all as would be worth a fortune now) I was so jealous of her(!)

Now grown up I've bought myself a dolls house, some Pippa dolls & a vintage Sindy & make clothes for the Pippa & Sindy dolls & spend hours making miniatures for my dolls house. 😂

Good for you!

I wasn't allowed a Barbie because she was both gender-stereotyping and (apparently) looked "cheap."

Sindy was ok as she had less obvious boobs, less tacky clothes and a thicker waist! I even had a brunette version and a blonde (honey blonde of course, no platinum!), and they were lovely.

Motnight · 03/12/2025 17:34

Moltenpink · 03/12/2025 13:50

I cringe at this, but I tried to give my very elderly grandad copies of my wedding photos as a gift (of his side of the family), thinking he might like to show people in his care home. He clearly disagreed and forced me to take them back home with me 😂

This has made me laugh a lot 🤣

TheNeverEndingOver · 03/12/2025 17:39

BeaRightThere · 03/12/2025 17:33

Many such cases

There’s a comedy sketch about this exact scenario, ‘French boy gets Mein Kampf instead of Minecraft’ coincidence! It’s quite funny