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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
MartinCrieffsHat · 03/12/2025 16:38

@Bloozie If they’ve asked you not to buy them presents and get upset by them why on earth try to force them to ‘receive them graciously’ before you’ll stop? You’re making this about you not what they really want.

I agree.

SapphireSeptember · 03/12/2025 16:39

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 03/12/2025 16:19

Ah, see, that's just a boast right there that you're younger than me - ha ha! Wow, was Sindy still around in the 1990s? My Sindy playing days were gone by the early 1980s!! We did keep the toy for a while, but it ended up being given to my mum for her dogs to be chased around the garden by it!!

Indeed, I was born in 1988! Yes she was. As an adult I bought a couple of Sindy dolls I had when I was a kid. 😆 Still want the make up counter set...

GFBurger · 03/12/2025 16:42

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 15:15

@NimbleDreamer I don't think my friend thought the water bottle a good idea. She seemed bemused, as am I, since why would you use a water bottle at home? Wasn't a brilliant idea on my part, but what can you give someone who can't eat chocolate or wheat (so posh crackers are out 😄), who doesn't see the point in bath products, using only imperial leather bar soap, who wears the same gloves all the time, and has 2 bags filled with gloves given over the yrs, who doesn't like ornaments, who likes books but can only find time to read book club books, who likes films, but has 2 shelves of gifted dvds, all unwatched, and who doesn't like jewellery. Just wrapped up fudge for her, and yes, it's a rogue gift.

Loving the thread!

Just a little whisper though for a friend who can’t eat Wheat… Gluten Free Panettone’s which you can buy in Sainsbury’s are amazing - but there are also some posher GF one’s out there which are pricier. And… you can order GF croissant’s etc online. Might be a bit spenny, but OMG I could cry when someone goes out there way to find me something tricky to get hold of like that.

Inthedeep · 03/12/2025 16:48

Calliopespa · 03/12/2025 16:30

I have a painted "thing" from a visit to one of those pottery cafes for a birthday party dc was invited to. I have "lovingly" displayed it in my bedroom and felt very proud of myself for being so accommodating (!), though because visits to my room are often accompanied by a little "DO you still like this mummy?" I get the feeling dc isn't quite voicing a disappointment that it isn't downstairs somewhere very prominent! I said to DH perhaps I should for a bit and he said he thought it "better not to open the floodgates."

Thats so sweet, you could always say it’s kept in your bedroom because it’s SO special, you’d hate for it to run the risk of being broken downstairs. I was quite ruthless and chucked out all the handmade items I’d made my Mum as a child this year, little clay pots, ohhhh and lots of Fimo jewellery (think chunky bead bracelets and flower broaches). She wouldn’t do it herself as she didn’t want to hurt my feelings, however she’s moved and they were just packed away in boxes. She’d never want to wear them 😂. I made sure she’s kept my Fimo Mary to display at Christmas though 🤣

fruitbrewhaha · 03/12/2025 16:52

Crackers is such an odd thing to buy someone though. It’s not a gift for her, she was going to have to give them away.

Calliopespa · 03/12/2025 16:52

Inthedeep · 03/12/2025 16:48

Thats so sweet, you could always say it’s kept in your bedroom because it’s SO special, you’d hate for it to run the risk of being broken downstairs. I was quite ruthless and chucked out all the handmade items I’d made my Mum as a child this year, little clay pots, ohhhh and lots of Fimo jewellery (think chunky bead bracelets and flower broaches). She wouldn’t do it herself as she didn’t want to hurt my feelings, however she’s moved and they were just packed away in boxes. She’d never want to wear them 😂. I made sure she’s kept my Fimo Mary to display at Christmas though 🤣

That's an excellent idea about it not getting broken! I will say that, thanks.

I do have a box and we keep all the best of the school art in it as well, but some things seem to deserve a life on display before being sent to "box heaven!"

It's funny, it's only one of my dc who really notice where they end up.

Calliopespa · 03/12/2025 16:54

fruitbrewhaha · 03/12/2025 16:52

Crackers is such an odd thing to buy someone though. It’s not a gift for her, she was going to have to give them away.

Yes but it's the satisfaction of the Christmas table looking lovely. If you have to make the effort, it's nice to have things to help. I mean it might be an odd gift for, say, my DF; but op's sister loved hosting.

GFBurger · 03/12/2025 16:56

I bought a pretty photo frame for friends who had recently got married - thought it would help to display their wedding photos. The generic place holder image happened to be a black & white shot of a kissing couple. Later I noticed that it had been hung still with the generic image in it! I guess I wasn’t clear and… if they liked the image what does it matter. Still not sure if I should have mentioned it though!

HaveACheekyChristmas · 03/12/2025 17:01

For years and I mean years I bought an aunt bunches of flowers on her birthday and for other special days including Christmas, probably averaging two or three a year.

One year she finally told me that she didn't like cut flowers, never had, hated watching them die, hated disposing of the water and hated getting rid of dead flowers that drop everywhere but had never wanted to tell me as she didn't want to seem ungrateful or hurt my feelings! She wasn't very well when she told me this. I expect feeling ill had acted like a truth drug. Afterwards we would laugh about it but I really wish she'd told me earlier and she'd be all I know you are right.

If you are this person, I know it's difficult, but please do tell the person to stop buying you something that you don't like. They are doing it to make you happy and they would rather have a moment of bruised feelings than years of wasting money AND annoying you.

SparkleSpriteDust · 03/12/2025 17:02

I gave a colleague a bottle of wine one year. He asked me a few days later if I had realised that it was non-alcoholic.

HaveACheekyChristmas · 03/12/2025 17:02

GFBurger · 03/12/2025 16:56

I bought a pretty photo frame for friends who had recently got married - thought it would help to display their wedding photos. The generic place holder image happened to be a black & white shot of a kissing couple. Later I noticed that it had been hung still with the generic image in it! I guess I wasn’t clear and… if they liked the image what does it matter. Still not sure if I should have mentioned it though!

That's hilarious. Maybe they thought that you thought that they were too ugly to be in the frame and the model couple posing was a better look!

Ilovepastafortea · 03/12/2025 17:03

It was1982.

My grandmother (born in 1898) had finally been persuaded to wear 'slacks' (rather than dresses or skirts) in the winter. My aunt had taken her to M&S & bought her a couple of pairs for Christmas. She always wore directoire knickers (long knickers that came down to her knees). So after Christmas she ushered me into her bedroom to show me the 'briefs' that my grandfather had bought her to wear under her 'slacks'. As she held up the most enormous knickers that I'd ever seen (no-one could describe them as 'briefs' - there was nothing 'brief' about them) she said that my GF had told her that this is the kind of underwear that women wore these days & she wanted me to confirm this was correct. She remarked that she would 'catch her death of cold' wearing these.

As a 21 year old I could hardly contain my embarrassment at my 83 year old GF buying my 85 year old GM 'sexy' undies.

Now, aged 63 I think 'good for him!'

VeryQuaintIrene · 03/12/2025 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

this one surely wins the thread!

YouBelongHere · 03/12/2025 17:06

Not as funny as some of the hilarious ones on here but my Mum received a gift off someone a bit eccentric. From the way it was wrapped Mum was fairly confident it was going to be a candle which would've made sense as Mum does like them. It was a jar of lemon curd.

I got a pack of rice cakes.

BootsandCatss · 03/12/2025 17:08

I bought my nan a candle with a necklace inside it, a few weeks later she brought the candle up in conversation saying it smelt lovely but it had a bit of foil in it that she had to dig out and throw away… so yes she had thrown away the necklace.

FastTurtle · 03/12/2025 17:11

Another dementia one, my DB bought my DM an Alexa and it really upset her as she thought someone was talking to her.

nadine90 · 03/12/2025 17:13

I wasn’t the giver but this one still cracks me up. I worked for a charity who organised some creative gift boxes for people during Covid Xmas. One woman got in touch shortly after receiving extremely concerned about a mysterious brown package she was convinced was drugs - she said “I thought it was chocolate so I licked it”. 😆
It was a seed ball for planting!

BeaRightThere · 03/12/2025 17:13

VeryQuaintIrene · 03/12/2025 17:05

this one surely wins the thread!

It can't be real.

Unorganisedchaos2 · 03/12/2025 17:13

SiL, Dh and I decided we would buy FiL a tablet and pay for wifi after he blown away being shown google earth (he sits all day watching the same TV programs but is actually very intelligent so we thought it would open his horizons a bit)

MiL was horrified at the idea of having wifi (we could never get her to explain why) and insisted that where the router was plugged in was the only place she could plug the hoover and it was far too inconvenient to unplug the router once a week for her to hoover.

This was more than 10 years ago and believe the tablet is still in a drawer somewhere.

Natowl · 03/12/2025 17:14

Every single thing we have given PIL.

There’s a fancy hotel near their house and they always tell us how they go there for coffee and cake with their friends and how lovely it is there. So we gave them a voucher for there. Which apparently wasn’t much of a present seeing as they go there anyway.

So next year we got them a voucher for a new Rick stein restaurant. MIL loves seafood so thought she’d love it. But for some reason they used it on a Sunday and chose a set 3 course Sunday lunch menu. The other options were available a la carte but neither of them had them because they thought they ought to have the proper Sunday roast. Then they complained that the voucher was only enough to cover the meal and one drink each and that they weren’t impressed with the meat and would rather go somewhere they knew in future.

MIL is always cold and spends a lot of time sitting down. She’s also said multiple times how cosy our heated throws are so we got her a one but she’ll only use it on the bed because she doesn’t think it’s seemly to sit under a blanket.

Her favourite flowers are tulips and she always says they don’t have enough coasters so one year one of her presents was a set of fused glass coasters with tulips on. They’re really pretty but she was completely non plussed by them and I think they’re at the back of the cupboard unused.

They said they wanted to do more walking but that they always walked the same route because they didn’t know where else to go and it got boring so they stopped bothering. We got them a book of circular pub walks for the area (they love a pub) with various routes varying from very short walks to longer ones. They gave it back to us because they didn’t need it because they live there.

Honestly I love them to pieces but they are incredibly difficult to buy for. They just give us money and tell us to choose something ourselves but they don’t like us doing that because then they have nothing to open. But they don’t like anything we give them either!

MaturingCheeseball · 03/12/2025 17:14

Dm was a poor receiver of presents. One year I was feeling mighty flush and bought her a big Estee Lauder gift set. She delved into it and said, “This’ll do for Auntie Barbara, and this’ll do for Auntie Mo…” who we were seeing a few days later. I was so disappointed, but I guess the present didn’t really misfire as she saw it as a top re-gifting opportunity.

Ilovepastafortea · 03/12/2025 17:14

SapphireSeptember · 03/12/2025 17:06

Don't encourage me! 😅 Thank you though. 😊 I found one brand new in the box a few years ago but couldn't afford it at the time and then it got unlisted for some reason.

Edited

Me too - I was desperate for a Sindy, but my (Child Psychologist) mother didn't approve of 'gender specific' toys. My cousin had a Wendy House with loads of Sindys, Patch & Sindy clothes, furniture etc (she wishes that she'd kept it all as would be worth a fortune now) I was so jealous of her(!)

Now grown up I've bought myself a dolls house, some Pippa dolls & a vintage Sindy & make clothes for the Pippa & Sindy dolls & spend hours making miniatures for my dolls house. 😂

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 03/12/2025 17:14

This was given to me rather than by me but was probably misunderstood by me...

My aunt (mum's sister) had, for some reason, the idea that she and I were about the same age and liked the same things. She was a good forty years older than me, but she would persist in buying me things that she had bought herself and liked or enjoyed. Usually this would be food or kitchen bits and pieces, which were all fine, but one year she sent me a pair of the most hideous slippers ever known to man. I thanked her (of course) and she went into raptures about how easy these velcro fastening slippers were to put on and you didn't need to bend down or anything!

I was thirty five. I had no difficulty in bending.

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