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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
SnoopyPajamas · 04/12/2025 19:51

Jaq27 · 03/12/2025 19:28

I still go red in the face at this … age 12 I had no idea what to get my mum and dad for Christmas. The school fair was selling engraved glasses as gifts so I got a tankard and had ‘DAD’ engraved on it … the wine glasses were much cheaper, so being fair in gift giving, I bought another tankard … and had ‘MUM’ engraved on it.
The teacher openly laughed - but I still didn’t get it was wrong until mum opened her huge manly pint glass 🍺 on Christmas Day.
She never drank out of it. It was used to keep loose change in the sideboard. I shuddered every time I saw MUM on it.

I don't know why this is the one that got me, but I laughed until I cried at this 😂

Actual tears are streaming down my face

idkbroidk · 04/12/2025 19:54

WestwardHo1 · 03/12/2025 22:14

I was young and clueless and she's a dreadful person (I didn't know at the time how dreadful). I didn't do it out of spite, I did it because she was pregnant. I remain unbothered.

even if you were young and clueless, it's such a mean gift :/ what if she liked her stretchmarks and wanted to keep them? or didn't have any? that wasn't a nice thing to do of you

Partypants83 · 04/12/2025 19:55

Bingbangboo · 03/12/2025 14:36

I saw a set of these in a charity shop recently and was struck by how ghastly they were! So funny that your 9 year old self thought they were lovely and not at all inappropriate for two 40 somethings.

I bought my mother some truly hideous presents from Woolworths. One that sticks in my mind was a mother's day offering of a picture of purple flowers, possibly crocuses, in an ornate white plastic frame. I thought it was just lovely. I don't remember her response but I think she would have done the right thing.

YerMaw16608 · 04/12/2025 19:55

As a small girl, looking round Woolworths with my pocket-money, for a Mother's Day gift - I was on the point of buying my Mum some lovely new towels for the bathroom (albeit in a mysteriously-small packet...) when I changed my mind and moved away from the Sanitary Wear' counter and headed for the cruddy-plastic-roses in a plastic trophy counter... Thank you, God.

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 19:58

YerMaw16608 · 04/12/2025 19:55

As a small girl, looking round Woolworths with my pocket-money, for a Mother's Day gift - I was on the point of buying my Mum some lovely new towels for the bathroom (albeit in a mysteriously-small packet...) when I changed my mind and moved away from the Sanitary Wear' counter and headed for the cruddy-plastic-roses in a plastic trophy counter... Thank you, God.

😂😂Oh that's adorable! "Mysteriously small packet!"

SnoopyPajamas · 04/12/2025 20:02

PorridgeAndSyrup · 03/12/2025 20:29

A friend of mine who had a very stressful job received a set of “relaxation” toiletries and candles from another friend. She was really offended, and distanced herself from said friend after that. I didn’t dare tell her I didn’t understand what the problem was and that I thought it was quite a thoughtful present…

Smoke Weed GIF

You put the scare quotes on "relaxation" and I immediately assumed the candles were CBD. Were they? 🤭

(Please tell me they were)

Arran2024 · 04/12/2025 20:04

I was in an online group where we all slightly knew each other in person, though we live all over the country, and we did a secret Santa by post.

The present I received completely flummoxed me. It was a kind of tea towel but with padded pieces on it. It had clearly been hand made, but there was a card with it from the person who made it - this wasn't my secret santa gifted but she had obviously bought it at a craft fair.

I contacted the lady, who explained it was a tray cover. The padded pieces would hold things like the tea pot in place.

!!! Imagine getting to my 50s and never having come across such a thing (i dont have a tray either mind you).

ADHDdiagnosis · 04/12/2025 20:07

My father was crying one Saturday afternoon. He was saying that no one has ever bought him anything. That type of thing. I heard him from my bedroom. I was 12 or 13. So I gathered together my savings of small pocket money (I myself really did get very little) and I headed off down the high street to try to mend this sad man. I don’t know why but i decided to go to a very expensive little patisserie place. I counted my money and had just enough money for one florentine. So I bought it and carried it home in the little paper bag. I had never had such a delicacy myself and would never have dreamed of buying that for myself. He didn’t eat sweet things really but I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just wanted to do my utmost because hearing him crying was so upsetting.

I went home and walked up to him. He was in the living room still. I tried to make it casual and I said I’ve bought you this. He opened the bag laughed and said I don’t want that. And handed it back to me. He was not upset anymore. That drama had passed and he was totally disinterested. He said it’s not his type of thing. I think I ended up eating it myself over a few days. I savoured it but never felt right about eating it.

to this day I think of florentines as being the ultimate in luxury but I always have that memory connected with them so I don’t buy them every year. It takes a lot out of me

ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 04/12/2025 20:14

DoYouThinkYouCouldTell · 04/12/2025 19:23

As I watched a friend unwrap a present I'd given, her face fell, her eyes teared up & she said 'why have you given me that?'
At this point she hadn't actually opened the box the gift was in & I was confused.
'What's wrong?'
'That says its from DIGNITAS' she says.....

It wasn't, the word wasn't DIGNITAS at all, she had misread it 🤷🏻‍♀️
Wtf she thought I'd buy her a voucher (subscription seems out of the question) to DIGNITAS I've no idea 😂😂😂😂

What did it actually say ?

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/12/2025 20:14

ADHDdiagnosis · 04/12/2025 20:07

My father was crying one Saturday afternoon. He was saying that no one has ever bought him anything. That type of thing. I heard him from my bedroom. I was 12 or 13. So I gathered together my savings of small pocket money (I myself really did get very little) and I headed off down the high street to try to mend this sad man. I don’t know why but i decided to go to a very expensive little patisserie place. I counted my money and had just enough money for one florentine. So I bought it and carried it home in the little paper bag. I had never had such a delicacy myself and would never have dreamed of buying that for myself. He didn’t eat sweet things really but I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just wanted to do my utmost because hearing him crying was so upsetting.

I went home and walked up to him. He was in the living room still. I tried to make it casual and I said I’ve bought you this. He opened the bag laughed and said I don’t want that. And handed it back to me. He was not upset anymore. That drama had passed and he was totally disinterested. He said it’s not his type of thing. I think I ended up eating it myself over a few days. I savoured it but never felt right about eating it.

to this day I think of florentines as being the ultimate in luxury but I always have that memory connected with them so I don’t buy them every year. It takes a lot out of me

Oh that is awful, I am so sorry that your dad took your love and said "I dont want that".

I am guessing that this was not a one off....him being dramatic, someone pandering to him and then him getting over it until the next one?

Cornflakegirl7 · 04/12/2025 20:16

Newsenmum · 04/12/2025 19:25

The ai thing really creeps
me out too.
I think because it’s fake. It’s obvious fake so why make up a fake video pretending to hug your granny. Feels like nothing is true.

This is why I don't like them either. My friend did an AI photo of my beloved grandmother, to make it into a video. It was just wrong, her smile didn't look like her at all. I didn't show my Mum, I know it would've upset her.

I brought a photo of me and my childhood dog to live too, taken when I was about 3 or 4. It just didn't look like me and was weird!

SeanMean · 04/12/2025 20:18

Crackers is a bonkers gift!!🤯

Missingpop · 04/12/2025 20:35

Didn’t give it but received; some rather racy; very lacy & skimpy knickers from my then boyfriend’s eldest brother; I opened them in front of the whole family; they all roared laughing but I felt extremely uncomfortable
A. Because there were twenty 20+ of them
and
B. because what guy gives his younger brothers girlfriend skimpy underwear, it was extremely difficult to deal with; I soon split with boyfriend & never ever wore the underwear I burnt it it creeped the shit out of me

ToeJob · 04/12/2025 21:06

A work secret Santa one. The budget was £10; I spotted a purse in Accessorize that looked exactly like the sort of thing my colleague liked, reduced from £22 to £11. I was so chuffed to get something I thought she’d really like (almost) within budget.

She unwrapped it, looked at it blankly, actually looked inside it (as if she couldn’t believe the purse alone was the gift), saw it was empty and put it on one side wordlessly. I couldn’t even tell her that I wanted to clock her one because it was a secret 😄

Another time the birthday girl totally got the (joke) gift, but one of her friends acted like it was the weirdest thing I could possibly have given her. My friend liked this cheesy 80s TV show, the theme tune of which had been a hit. I’d found a copy on vinyl in eBay for couple of quid. My friend thought it was great.

Her friends, however, reacted bizarrely. She just kept staring at it saying, “Why have you bought that?” in this bewildered way. I found it really odd she would so openly act like that, but I got she didn’t understand the significance of the TV show, so we explained. But she still kept doing this awful confused face. She said to my friend, “But… have you even got a record player?” When she said she hadn’t, it was “But… what are you going to DO with it?!”

I wanted to scream at her that it was just a bloody joke; that it was a flat disc that (by definition) is only 7 inches wide. Even if my friend had laughed at it once and stuck it in a drawer forever, so bloody what? From the other woman’s reaction, you’d have thought I’d bought her a life-sized concrete elephant and expected her to find space for it in a studio flat.

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 21:11

ToeJob · 04/12/2025 21:06

A work secret Santa one. The budget was £10; I spotted a purse in Accessorize that looked exactly like the sort of thing my colleague liked, reduced from £22 to £11. I was so chuffed to get something I thought she’d really like (almost) within budget.

She unwrapped it, looked at it blankly, actually looked inside it (as if she couldn’t believe the purse alone was the gift), saw it was empty and put it on one side wordlessly. I couldn’t even tell her that I wanted to clock her one because it was a secret 😄

Another time the birthday girl totally got the (joke) gift, but one of her friends acted like it was the weirdest thing I could possibly have given her. My friend liked this cheesy 80s TV show, the theme tune of which had been a hit. I’d found a copy on vinyl in eBay for couple of quid. My friend thought it was great.

Her friends, however, reacted bizarrely. She just kept staring at it saying, “Why have you bought that?” in this bewildered way. I found it really odd she would so openly act like that, but I got she didn’t understand the significance of the TV show, so we explained. But she still kept doing this awful confused face. She said to my friend, “But… have you even got a record player?” When she said she hadn’t, it was “But… what are you going to DO with it?!”

I wanted to scream at her that it was just a bloody joke; that it was a flat disc that (by definition) is only 7 inches wide. Even if my friend had laughed at it once and stuck it in a drawer forever, so bloody what? From the other woman’s reaction, you’d have thought I’d bought her a life-sized concrete elephant and expected her to find space for it in a studio flat.

The purse reaction was incredibly rude (and disappointing for you).

Jaq27 · 04/12/2025 21:24

SnoopyPajamas · 04/12/2025 19:51

I don't know why this is the one that got me, but I laughed until I cried at this 😂

Actual tears are streaming down my face

The embarrassment when it finally clicked tho!
My dainty little mum with a huge tankard.
my uncles and aunts had a big laugh about it that Christmas so I suppose I made some people happy …!

purplepansyem · 04/12/2025 21:28

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 18:56

I absolutely love lavender bags, and think she was so out of order.

Did no one speak out in defence of them?

No, instead they jokingly suggested that the following year, I buy a gift instead of making one!

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 21:31

purplepansyem · 04/12/2025 21:28

No, instead they jokingly suggested that the following year, I buy a gift instead of making one!

😱

RafaFan · 04/12/2025 21:41

ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 04/12/2025 19:16

I think charity donation gifts have to be something that the recipient has asked for, eg an adult who has everything they need could request that relatives make a charity donation on their behalf rather than buying something they don’t need. When the giver decides to do this it can appear a bit of a ‘non-gift’.

My sister got me charity donation one year (which I am not opposed to), but I received mail communications from that charity for years after. We've moved house, and for all I know they're still at it. The cost of all those mailings was probably higher than the original donation.

DoYouThinkYouCouldTell · 04/12/2025 21:42

@ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy it was just the makers name on the lid of box. Began with D but I can't remember.
Definitely wasn't DIGNITAS 😂😂

ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 04/12/2025 22:04

purplepansyem · 04/12/2025 21:28

No, instead they jokingly suggested that the following year, I buy a gift instead of making one!

I think some people have the idea that a home made gift is a cop-out, not realising the cost of ingredients plus the time it takes.

Nannygaga · 04/12/2025 22:06

We once received what we thought was a plant pot with a saucer, it was very nice but stood on a round knob which caused the plant to topple over, we only ever got it out when the friend who gifted it was staying. After a couple of visits I gave up with it and gave it to my cousin who said. “ Lovely I need a new cheese dish”; and promptly turned it the right way. 🤣

FestiveFruitloop · 04/12/2025 22:21

Just remembered another, not a misunderstood gift but an unintentionally useless one.

DH and I once received a couple of quite elegant long-necked bottles with pouring spouts, for oil/vinegar. Which would have been lovely, except for some reason both bottles had 'oil' written on one side of the base, and 'vinegar' on the other...

Cornflakegirl7 · 04/12/2025 22:28

ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 04/12/2025 22:04

I think some people have the idea that a home made gift is a cop-out, not realising the cost of ingredients plus the time it takes.

This is sad actually. Mainly, making a gift is so much more heartfelt and time consuming than buying one. Anybody can click a link or go to a shop.

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/12/2025 22:44

Cornflakegirl7 · 04/12/2025 22:28

This is sad actually. Mainly, making a gift is so much more heartfelt and time consuming than buying one. Anybody can click a link or go to a shop.

Bloody hell, this just brought back a memory long forgotten.

About 20 years or so ago I decided to make Xmas gifts. I knew how much home made gifts meant (still do) to my parents and sister/bil. So I made some preserves to make a hamper for Dsis/bil and knitted a couple of things for my parents. Took fucking ages and the preserves cost a fortune by the time I had bought all of the ingredients. They all loved them, I even made Victorian style lables for the preserves. I was telling an aquaintance about them and she said in a faux sympathetic voice that she was SO SORRY that I couldnt afford to buy them "proper" presents. I was fucking fuming but also really upset at the thought my family thought I was being cheap. They all assured me that I wasnt ( I did become a bit needy with the "are you sure it isnt crap?!" questions) My mother still uses the hot water bottle cover I made, so fuck that bitch! She was a snob anyway, as my Grandmother would say "all fur coat and no drawers"