Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
Grammarnut · 04/12/2025 18:23

Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 15:31

Moving on to unsuccessful gifts I've received:

  1. Scented candle from The White Company, given to all plus ones at a function. I have no use for candles. Can't stand the smell of either standard or scented and regard them as fire hazards. Close enough to Xmas for me to regift it. Recipient was delighted.
  1. Two red candles from my MIL. Lay for yrs under sink and eventually binned. However, they were given to me together with a beautiful oven glove in shape of toadstool which I cherished until it fell apart.
  1. This one makes me sad. Beautiful earrings from my MIL. Only problem they were for pierced ears and I don't have pierced ears so I can only wear clip ons. My MIL returned them and gave me the money to spend.
  1. My MIL gave one table mat and one coaster to us. Beautiful but not much use. We said we'd love more of them, so got a full set the next year.
Edited

Why not get your ears pierced? It's easy, painless and very useful. Clip-ons are painful!

Alliod40 · 04/12/2025 18:23

These presents are wild..i ask people for various options then choose one so I'm not wasting money and the person actually gets something they want/like lol

Annierob · 04/12/2025 18:27

I bought a close friend a lantern including the batteries. I love mine and had bought some for other friends/families over the years. Like me, she had dogs and I liked to use mine with my dog late that night. My friend looked horrified. Why? She asked. Explained about the dog and she looked stunned 😕

BoudiccaRuled · 04/12/2025 18:32

Maybeishouldcrochet · 03/12/2025 14:25

After Dad phoning me everyday to complain about having to do housework. I bought him some butler gloves for Christmas- my family thought it was hilarious. Dad was not amused and upset for months!!!

Haha hahahaha 🤣

Sennelier1 · 04/12/2025 18:37

When I was expecting my first child my MIL decided to buy - as a christmas gift to me - a full set of feeding bottles and the sterilizing kettle. She knew perfectly well that I was studying every model available to make the perfect choice, as I did with everything for the nursery. She claimed that "since after all it would be her baby too she had the right to do some of the picking and choosing. Whe didn't have a lot of money so throwing them away and buying new ones was out of the question. I ever forgave her.

purplepansyem · 04/12/2025 18:45

I made friends with the school Mums and a group of us would get together every year, just before Christmas.

We did a £5 secret Santa and one year, I made some draw scent sachets.

I dried my own lavender and hand sewed the bags, tied them with ribbon and I thought they were nice, but the Mum who got them was totally unimpressed and said they smelled like cat piss (they didn't) I was mortified!

They then spoiled it by insisting on knowing who had made them and I had to confess.

I thought they were pretty and they smelled lovely - I guess she thought they were old fashioned and didn't like the smell of lavender!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 04/12/2025 18:45

RavenhairedRachel · 04/12/2025 18:15

I once made my Mum a hamper I bought a good quality basket lined it and fancied it up and filled it with luxury food items. I took it down on Christmas day and she proceeded to empty it put all the items away in the fridge and cupboards and handed me the basket back. It was as if I had done her a bit of shopping.

In a sense you had, though. I hope she was appreciative!

I bought a couple I'm related to a framed cartoon once. I could tell from the facial expressions as it was unwrapped that it was not being well received, and with hindsight, I can't blame them! I sometimes wonder where it ended up.

Whentosayitsover · 04/12/2025 18:47

morden123 · 03/12/2025 14:01

When I was about 9 (many moons ago) I went every week to a gift shop to pay off a Christmas present for my mum and dad, a little old man and lady in rocking chairs money boxes. Mum and Dad were only in their early 40's!!!, they had the good grace to not say anything bad

This is actually so sweet and hilarious all at the same time. How lovely were you to buy a gift that you had to pay off in installments at 9 years old.

Pliudev · 04/12/2025 18:52

MaloryJones · 03/12/2025 14:27

Back in 1991, eldest DCs first Christmas, Me and then DH thought He might like a walking elephant that then stopped, lifted its trunk and made a noise .
Poor little chap was terrified

Yes. Someone gave my puppy a grunting, black rubber pig. She was terrified and tried to climb into the washing machine.

iSage · 04/12/2025 18:52

purplepansyem · 04/12/2025 18:45

I made friends with the school Mums and a group of us would get together every year, just before Christmas.

We did a £5 secret Santa and one year, I made some draw scent sachets.

I dried my own lavender and hand sewed the bags, tied them with ribbon and I thought they were nice, but the Mum who got them was totally unimpressed and said they smelled like cat piss (they didn't) I was mortified!

They then spoiled it by insisting on knowing who had made them and I had to confess.

I thought they were pretty and they smelled lovely - I guess she thought they were old fashioned and didn't like the smell of lavender!

That's so rude. I'm flabbergasted at the sheer rudeness of so many of these recipients of clearly well-intentioned gifts.

Cornflakegirl7 · 04/12/2025 18:53

Newgirls · 04/12/2025 18:02

I totally get this about the water bottle - metal ones are heavy to carry around. I have lovely ones but reuse plastic ones as so much lighter. Sweet that she uses it when you’re there - perhaps she has it on her desk or something

I have never found one (and I have had all manner of them from expensive gifts to B&M bargain ones I've bought for myself) that doesn't leak/have water trapped in the bottom that you can't get to because of the design/fall apart/be impossible to wash properly/all or any combination of the above etc etc. I drink out of old cordial bottles at home now!

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 18:56

purplepansyem · 04/12/2025 18:45

I made friends with the school Mums and a group of us would get together every year, just before Christmas.

We did a £5 secret Santa and one year, I made some draw scent sachets.

I dried my own lavender and hand sewed the bags, tied them with ribbon and I thought they were nice, but the Mum who got them was totally unimpressed and said they smelled like cat piss (they didn't) I was mortified!

They then spoiled it by insisting on knowing who had made them and I had to confess.

I thought they were pretty and they smelled lovely - I guess she thought they were old fashioned and didn't like the smell of lavender!

I absolutely love lavender bags, and think she was so out of order.

Did no one speak out in defence of them?

Nevereatcardboard · 04/12/2025 18:59

I’m retired now, but I remember a younger work colleague who had recently got married, proudly showing me an iron he’d bought his wife for Christmas. I tactfully suggested she might prefer some jewellery instead. After Christmas he told me the diamond earrings he’d purchased were definitely a more successful gift than the iron!

NeedSomeHeadspace · 04/12/2025 19:02

AltitudeCheck · 03/12/2025 15:01

I bought my exH a colonic irrigation voucher for Christmas.

Nothing says Happy Christmas like a hose pipe up the bum 😆 I will think of this before I complain when my OH next gives me something crap!

The response to this made me laugh more than all the other comments!

YerMaw16608 · 04/12/2025 19:06

Example 1: Bought my young niece a Mothercare jumper with picture of cows in field grazing etc. I think it was the fact that the cows had udders that proved to be Too Much...
Example 2: bought my sister - who was ill - a cosy blue pashmina and a bottle of white wine, and her husband - can't remember what but it was 'manly'- and a bottle of red wine. Got baffled phone call from sister (who only ever asks if I liked their present to me - and never mentions what I gave them) to thank me for her husband's "scarf".
Basically, they have never liked anything I've ever got them (fairly mutual), so we have settled into a routine of me giving them giftcards and a wee thing to unwrap. Hey ho...

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 04/12/2025 19:09

Umm…I’ve bought some Taskmaster (she’s a huge fan) Christmas crackers for my mum, this year. 😬
It’s not her present, per se, but just a little something that I’m hoping she’ll enjoy.

You’ve all got me worried, now.

maureen17 · 04/12/2025 19:15

posh crackers as a present, yes please.
Christmas is about sharing I would be happy to share with friends and family.

ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 04/12/2025 19:16

Curlybrunette · 04/12/2025 09:19

One year for my mum, dad, sister and brother in law, I decided as well as buying them normal presents (spent the usual amount) I also made some small charity donations to charities I thought they'd appreciate:
Dad - a rugby league charity (can't remember who it supported but my dad is a huge RL fan)
Mum - Cancer charity
Sister - Supporting young people in care
Bro in law - Help for Heroes (he's ex military)

When they opened the envelopes they just looked confused. I tried to explain that we were all so lucky to have each other and a warm house to eat a lovely christmas dinner etc etc that I wanted to support some people who weren't so lucky, and explained why I'd chosen those particular charities for them,

Still just confusion.

They didn't get it and I got the impression they thought it was a total waste of money.

I think charity donation gifts have to be something that the recipient has asked for, eg an adult who has everything they need could request that relatives make a charity donation on their behalf rather than buying something they don’t need. When the giver decides to do this it can appear a bit of a ‘non-gift’.

Rednotdead · 04/12/2025 19:18

Some of these are hilarious

JustMeAndTheFish · 04/12/2025 19:21

Just a couple of received gifts here.
I’d been pricing up a particular Barbour jacket - think navy, padded fabric, zips etc - and was delighted to find a big Barbour box under the tree from my BF. Opened it to find an awful khaki green cotton/gabardine type thing… complete with a tin of wax to heat and brush on to waterproof it. I lied and said it was the wrong size and returned it to the shop.
And years later when DH and I were living on a remote farm he bought me a lovely bottle of expensive gin… and NO TONIC 😬

DoYouThinkYouCouldTell · 04/12/2025 19:23

As I watched a friend unwrap a present I'd given, her face fell, her eyes teared up & she said 'why have you given me that?'
At this point she hadn't actually opened the box the gift was in & I was confused.
'What's wrong?'
'That says its from DIGNITAS' she says.....

It wasn't, the word wasn't DIGNITAS at all, she had misread it 🤷🏻‍♀️
Wtf she thought I'd buy her a voucher (subscription seems out of the question) to DIGNITAS I've no idea 😂😂😂😂

Newsenmum · 04/12/2025 19:25

Calliopespa · 03/12/2025 22:20

I think for me it would land a bit like puppeteering them, or robbing them of autonomy. Not sure if that's what you felt?

But yes, these things are very different for different people.

The ai thing really creeps
me out too.
I think because it’s fake. It’s obvious fake so why make up a fake video pretending to hug your granny. Feels like nothing is true.

ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 04/12/2025 19:30

Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 13:16

@NauticalMiles Oh no,,a winner and I can't see it. What did it say?

It was the one that obviously didn’t happen about an elderly German lady mistaking ‘Minecraft’ for ‘Mein Kampf’. Not a ‘winner’ at all.

Achewyhamster · 04/12/2025 19:44

My mother once 'bought' the kids a kitten (she got it for free but thats not what she told the kids)

Just what every skint single parent wants-an animal to feed/take and pay to the vets/look after (she knew i had to count every single penny and had none spare)

I'm not a fan of cats but my father is

She only got the bloody thing because my brothers then girlfriends mums cat had given birth to kittens and my father wanted one but she didnt

So I was presented with a lovely black kitten in a box with a small packet of cheap cat food and that was it-no bed,bowls,toys,litter boxes,litter etc

It was so my father could have cat cuddles but she didnt want the responsibility of owning one

I made them take it back as I didnt want/couldn't afford it/didnt have the mental energy/didnt have the space

My mother went mental at me as id 'shown her up in front of golden childs girlfriends mother'

Well dont dump an animal on me then!

I'd never asked for one,couldn't afford one and didn't have the time or mental energy to cope with it

And,in the kids eyes,I was the bad guy as shed promised them a pet but hadnt asked me first!

That was the worst and I still feel bad about it-he was a lovely looking cat

ADHDdiagnosis · 04/12/2025 19:49

Let me take you back to the early 70s. I was very young- probably 7,8,9. I wanted to give the sixer in brownies a Christmas gift. She was much older than me and liked and admired her so much. She was beautiful and glamorous to me.

I asked my mother if i could take a gift for her and she opened the cupboard and got me out a penguin biscuit to give. I thought this was ok. A small gift and not what I had in mind maybe but my mother said she will like it. I wrapped it and gave it to her next brownies. I have always remembered the sting of how much she and her friend laughed at me when she opened it. I feel like she called the friend over to show her. This was over 50 years ago.

I’ve made lots of other errors since then but I think that was not a bad gift. It’s not like she was buying anything for me. So be nice. And be gracious especially to children! Merry Christmas

Swipe left for the next trending thread