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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
BauhausOfEliott · 04/12/2025 11:21

WizardOfAus · 04/12/2025 06:17

Honestly panettone has to be the WORST thing to give at Christmas.

They taste like cardboard and even when someone cuts and serves it, it just sits there going stale because no one wants a slice.

They take up half a cupboard for weeks and gather dust… or are regifted 100 times. Come January there is a nationwide clear out where people finally admit defeat and chuck them in the bin.

If you want to give food gifts at least choose something people might genuinely enjoy instead of the annual dome of disappointment.

I love panettone.

I'd much rather receive panettone than what someone inevitably buys me, which is a box of shit cheeses and jars of chutney. I do like cheese but the ones people buy always seem to be those boxes where you get small wheels of hard cheese which are all just a variant on cheddar, so you get one with herbs and garlic, one with chilli and one with lumps of cranberry in it and one plain one. They're always objectively less nice/interesting than the cheese I buy every week in the supermarket.

Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 11:25

BauhausOfEliott · 04/12/2025 11:10

To be honest, this just makes it sound like an even weirder gift than in your first post.

@BauhausOfEliott She said she liked quirky gifts and was unfairly judgemental over those who gave boxes of chocs as she said it showed no thought. (I actually love getting chocolates so I don't agree.) Tableware is given as a gift from time to time, so why not crackers? 'Weird' or simply 'quirky' is entirely a matter of opinion because there's a fine line, but it's irrelevant. If she'd simply said she'd thought it a weird gift I'd have instantly forgotten about it. The significant angle is her having latched onto the idea that she was supposed to pull them all at once. That's what amused me and has made it memorable. The rest of us would simply have cast the unwanted present aside, but she was proud of having been clever enough to have 'worked it out.'

OP posts:
SapphireSeptember · 04/12/2025 11:33

Ilovepastafortea · 03/12/2025 17:14

Me too - I was desperate for a Sindy, but my (Child Psychologist) mother didn't approve of 'gender specific' toys. My cousin had a Wendy House with loads of Sindys, Patch & Sindy clothes, furniture etc (she wishes that she'd kept it all as would be worth a fortune now) I was so jealous of her(!)

Now grown up I've bought myself a dolls house, some Pippa dolls & a vintage Sindy & make clothes for the Pippa & Sindy dolls & spend hours making miniatures for my dolls house. 😂

Aww. I'm glad you get to live out your dreams now. 😊 My mum didn't care, I played with my 'girly' toys but then played with my brothers' toys as well. My favourite Sindy I called Swan Princess (later found out it was the Dream Ballet Sindy, my mum got her second hand, that's one I found on eBay.) I imagined her as an eco warrior type princess who was in cahoots with She-Ra. 😁

Inahuff · 04/12/2025 11:35

tryingtobesogood · 03/12/2025 15:06

My dad very proudly presented my mum with a washing machine for christmas one year. She did not talk to him for weeks until he arrived home with a nice piece of jewellery. Another year he bought her a second hand bike, not sure why as she never rode bikes and we lived on top of an enormous hill, but actually that one she loved.

Edited

My husband was warned from day one " Do not buy me household items as birthday or Christmas gifts or I will hit you with it" haha!!

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 11:39

CraftyPlayer · 04/12/2025 09:17

Ooh don’t think so. I’m tempted to buy one of the ones with pistachio cream I keep seeing everywhere.

I haven't tried them, but I do like pistachio.

Chocolate chunks are also a good variant!

MissDoubleU · 04/12/2025 11:43

Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 10:55

@Mulledjuice Yes, actually, I did just buy her the crackers. Spent more than on gifts for others because I thought she'd like them, even though I had a limited budget. She's a lot older than me and was already working, and earning a high salary. Well, teachers would disagree about the word 'high' but she was a department head. It was an insane price for crackers, and they were new in mainstream shops, although of course there had probably been much more extravagant versions in places like Harrods for ages. I thought such classy crackers would have been a nice touch as she was so prissy about, and proud of, her New Year table. Also, she liked quirky gifts and was fairly disdainful of people who resorted to boxes of chocs. It makes no difference whether you think it a bad gift or a good one. We've all given and received presents that haven't been liked. The startling thing is her certainty that she was supposed to pull them all at once, whereas most people would have simply cast them aside and either binned them or kept them for a year before donating them to a festive raffle. That was what bemused and amused me in equal measure, and the reason I've remembered it. I only found out what she'd done with them in Jan or Feb when we met quite by chance at a rare visit to our sister. She loves to tell anecdotes, and the crackers were her prize story for the dinner table, no doubt fortified by a glass or 3 of our sister's wine. So she related how clever she'd been in realising the crackers were just a way of delivering gifts, since nobody would have been stupid enough to give crackers. All a touch surreal 😄

But how can you think it’s more on a gift for her than for others? Crackers are for everyone and the receiver of the gift, if lucky, might get just one of the surprises inside. Everyone benefits from crackers, not the recipient.

I think crackers given as a family gift when you’re attending their Christmas dinner would make some sense. Everyone is going to enjoy the crackers as a family. But to gift them specifically to one person just to watch them hand their gift to everyone else is exactly why it’s weird.

iSage · 04/12/2025 11:45

Alwaystired23 · 04/12/2025 09:18

My dad had to have his dog pts a year ago. So for Christmas I got a photo of her on a slate made. He burst in to tears on Christmas day, couldn't talk and wouldn't look at the picture. I felt terrible. It's only in the last few months the picture has gone up in their house.

Please don't feel bad - it was probably that it was the first Christmas without the dog, rather than your thoughtful gift. My sister gave me a cross-stitch of my dog that she'd made for my birthday a couple of months after he died, and it was a wonderful gift, it has been on the wall ever since.

Kingsleadhat · 04/12/2025 12:03

BeaRightThere · 04/12/2025 10:55

That was a comedy skit I think? I think it can be firmly filed under Never Happened

Absolutely

Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 12:09

MissDoubleU · 04/12/2025 11:43

But how can you think it’s more on a gift for her than for others? Crackers are for everyone and the receiver of the gift, if lucky, might get just one of the surprises inside. Everyone benefits from crackers, not the recipient.

I think crackers given as a family gift when you’re attending their Christmas dinner would make some sense. Everyone is going to enjoy the crackers as a family. But to gift them specifically to one person just to watch them hand their gift to everyone else is exactly why it’s weird.

@MissDoubleU But it isn't relevant that you think it weird. Whether a gift is weird or not always becomes a philosophical discussion. If I were to carry on arguing that I hadn't thought it weird we would just go round in circles. Ultimately it's a matter of opinion, and the only relevant opinion is my sister's and I know what her opinion was, and so don't need to be told. If I had posted about her not liking it, then your comments would have a place, but the point of all my posts have been about her pulling them all at once. Most people would just have discarded them, but pulling them and pretending to be happy with the contents was a classic example of misunderstanding. I've enjoyed reading everyone's stories of unappreciated gifts, but my own posts have been about not understanding and, not so much missing the point as fabricating a fantastical point. No matter how awful gifts are, most of us don't do things like that with them, and that's the reason I've remembered it and thought it worth telling. OK, so you don't find it interesting, but some posters do, like with everything on MN.

OP posts:
Inahuff · 04/12/2025 12:12

I bought my mum a lovely orangy/red top with a rose on it. She loved it. Then looked at the size and said " oh that's too big for me. You'll need to send it back" she wore size 18 clothes, bulging out of all of them. The top was a 22. Would have fitted nicely. So the next time, I bought her a size 22 top, I cut the lable our and told her it was an 18. She loved it.

My dad married a witch. All of a sudden, anything you buy him for Christmas isn't good enough. "We don't drink" (except for my whole life when you've drank sherry, pernol, vodka, gin,beer etc ) got a set of fancy hot chocolate boxes "we don't like that" nice biscuits " biscuits? To share? Really?" A gift card to eat out at a variety of restaurants " when do we have time to eat out a restaurant?" I could go on...

My MIL buys hubby the biggest load of crap you could think of. He's late 30s. He's had a dancing cactus, a magnetic sodoku cube, a Rubik's cube, bacon flavoured mints. All his one and only gift btw spread over the past few years.

My SIL bought me a teddy for my 37th birthday. Nothing personalises. Just a teddy. I was not amused so I bought her a ragdoll for her 28th birthday. She wasn't Impressed. LOL!

CrazyCatLady13 · 04/12/2025 12:23

My dad was a smoker, and so I thought snuff would be a good present 😁 it was in the 1980s, I was around 10. We had a speciality tobacco & sweet shop in our town. Looking back I'm amazed the shop let me buy it!

I've never seen snuff for sale anywhere else.

HoppityBun · 04/12/2025 12:24

Alwaystired23 · 04/12/2025 09:18

My dad had to have his dog pts a year ago. So for Christmas I got a photo of her on a slate made. He burst in to tears on Christmas day, couldn't talk and wouldn't look at the picture. I felt terrible. It's only in the last few months the picture has gone up in their house.

But @Alwaystired23 one Christmas a neighbour gave me some photos of my animals, one of whom had just died. I cried when I saw the photo of the one that had died but I still have it and she knew that I really, really appreciated the photo. Actually, it’s the only one of him that I have. I treasure it. The tears were because I loved him so much, not because I didn’t want the photo.

NecklessMumster · 04/12/2025 13:01

CrazyCatLady13 · 04/12/2025 12:23

My dad was a smoker, and so I thought snuff would be a good present 😁 it was in the 1980s, I was around 10. We had a speciality tobacco & sweet shop in our town. Looking back I'm amazed the shop let me buy it!

I've never seen snuff for sale anywhere else.

My DHs friend always brings snuff to nights out, they all have a sniff round the pub table after a few drinks,(yes, it's definitely snuff!)

ClawedButler · 04/12/2025 13:14

When I was about 5 or 6, my very kindly uncle bought me a doll. I unwrapped this thing to discover it was a CLOWN, screamed in terror and flung the beastly article as far as my little arms could fling it.

He was mortified, poor man. I was persuaded, over several hours, to take this painted demon to bed with me, and I pretended I liked it now. Spent Christmas night wide awake, rigid with fear that it would eat me or something. Still don't like clowns.

Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 13:16

NauticalMiles · 04/12/2025 10:31

I can't stop laughing at this one - has to be a winner!

@NauticalMiles Oh no,,a winner and I can't see it. What did it say?

OP posts:
Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 13:23

BauhausOfEliott · 04/12/2025 11:21

I love panettone.

I'd much rather receive panettone than what someone inevitably buys me, which is a box of shit cheeses and jars of chutney. I do like cheese but the ones people buy always seem to be those boxes where you get small wheels of hard cheese which are all just a variant on cheddar, so you get one with herbs and garlic, one with chilli and one with lumps of cranberry in it and one plain one. They're always objectively less nice/interesting than the cheese I buy every week in the supermarket.

@BauhausOfEliott I agree. I love panettone. This year I'm giving my sister a limoncello panettone. (different sister, not the one I gave the crackers to). A pain to wrap and post. I often give her panettone. She says she likes them, but then she would say that.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 13:41

Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 13:23

@BauhausOfEliott I agree. I love panettone. This year I'm giving my sister a limoncello panettone. (different sister, not the one I gave the crackers to). A pain to wrap and post. I often give her panettone. She says she likes them, but then she would say that.

I just handed my one across in person and I thought it was a nice, festive-looking sort of gift. But it clearly was not the right choice!

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 13:43

Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 13:16

@NauticalMiles Oh no,,a winner and I can't see it. What did it say?

Yes I want to see it too! Can the poster try re-wording it perhaps? Or can someone who saw it summarise without the deletion trigger?

Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 13:45

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 13:41

I just handed my one across in person and I thought it was a nice, festive-looking sort of gift. But it clearly was not the right choice!

Edited

@Calliopespa It is a nice festive looking gift, and one I'd be pleased to get.

OP posts:
problembottom · 04/12/2025 13:59

One of my nieces bought my cat a cushion with a picture of his face on when she was little. It was shaped like his head, very realistic. We held it up for him and he started hissing and all his hair stood up on end like something out of a cartoon. Things didn't improve, he fucking hated it and we had to bin it.

I bought one of my nephews a brilliant, huge inflatable dinosaur costume when he was about four which completely terrified him, felt quite bad about that one! Another one for the bin.

Mildmanneredmum · 04/12/2025 14:20

I sent my (thankfully) grown up daughter her advent calendar a couple of years ago. I was really proud of finding her one that had vegan beauty products behind the doors; it was made in Germany, She rang me mid-December, hardly able to speak for giggling, and asked me, "Mum, did you know what was behind the door on Day 12?" No, was the answer.

Well, it was lube. At least it was vegan lube.

Tomatocutwithazigzagedge · 04/12/2025 14:27

A gift to my man child ex Husband. It was a driving experience, Formula 1000 in a single seater car type thing. He dropped enough hints about it through the year

When he opened it the small print said there was a weight restriction to attend (not excessive, under 16 stone if I recall.)

He'd gained a lot of weight the past year leading up to Christmas and was 3 stone too heavy for it.

But it was my fault apparently. 😂 Sulked like a baby all Christmas.

Hoppinggreen · 04/12/2025 14:46

GingersOwner26 · 03/12/2025 22:51

I have to admit, I was a bit surprised at Mein Kampf being available to buy for a gift.

you can buy it, I studied Politics at Uni and bought a copy in the Uni bookshop .
DH's family have one given to his Grandma when his Dad was born as a present from the head of the local Nazi party, Its interesting historically but we would never sell or give it away and no German would give one as a gift, it would be a total no no

Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 15:31

Moving on to unsuccessful gifts I've received:

  1. Scented candle from The White Company, given to all plus ones at a function. I have no use for candles. Can't stand the smell of either standard or scented and regard them as fire hazards. Close enough to Xmas for me to regift it. Recipient was delighted.
  1. Two red candles from my MIL. Lay for yrs under sink and eventually binned. However, they were given to me together with a beautiful oven glove in shape of toadstool which I cherished until it fell apart.
  1. This one makes me sad. Beautiful earrings from my MIL. Only problem they were for pierced ears and I don't have pierced ears so I can only wear clip ons. My MIL returned them and gave me the money to spend.
  1. My MIL gave one table mat and one coaster to us. Beautiful but not much use. We said we'd love more of them, so got a full set the next year.
OP posts:
YouBelongHere · 04/12/2025 15:40

AgentCooperdreamsofTibet · 04/12/2025 09:00

When I was a child, we used to go to a local pub/inn for a dinner relatively frequently. Mum and I would both always have the breaded garlic mushrooms (with a garlic mayo dip) and spicy chicken (chicken marinated in a hot sauce). Then mum started making home-made version of these quite frequently. I think I was around 11 and it was the very first year that I was going to buy christmas presents for the family, with my own pocket money. There was a gift set in boots with three little jars of dips/condiments - a garlic mayo, a hot sauce and something else (maybe a mustard?). This, I thought was perfect and I was so excited to buy it for mum.

When it came to christmas morning. She opened it, and immediately got really huffy, pushing it away without a thank you. She gave me the silent treatment all day and it wasn't until boxing day when I tentatively asked if she liked her present that she finally exploded at me, saying that I was selfish and ungrateful to have basically bought her something that carried the expectation that she would cook dinner for me. Also that these were supermarket staples that she bought most weeks anyway and christmas was supposed to me for special treats. She burst into tears saying that nobody appreciated her.

I still feel awful when I think about it, but in my mind, I was giving something that I thought she liked as much, if not more, than me - plus those dinners were some of my happiest memories, where the whole family was always in a good mood. She never made those dishes again and we stopped going to the pub too 🙁

A similar thing around the same age - I saw boxes of candy canes in the supermarket and was really excited to buy these for my friends. I had never seen these in real life, they only seemed to exist in American films and were therefore really exciting and exotic. Both of my best friends reacted with absolute puzzlement as to why I bought them - they always had them as standard at christmas and knew they could be picked up easily in supermarkets. Also, they both saw them as something to hang on the tree and explained to me that it was a stupid gift to give on christmas day when the tree was about to come down.

That sounds thoughtful to me and even if it wasn't - you were 11! :(

Your Mum should've given you the benefit of the doubt. So many present receivers on this thread who took their gifts in bad faith but I can't imagine receiving a gift from a child and reacting like this. Your thought process makes perfect sense to me.

Your friends were also mean about the candy canes. I hope you have a lovely Christmas this year! 🎄