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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
Kingsleadhat · 04/12/2025 09:42

BeaRightThere · 04/12/2025 07:44

As far I as I understand it, it's available for sale in Germany but only in heavily annotated academic versions. I could be wrong. Regardless this definitely wasn't true

There was a viral video of this happening to a French kid a few years ago

fatphalange · 04/12/2025 09:51

AgentCooperdreamsofTibet · 04/12/2025 09:00

When I was a child, we used to go to a local pub/inn for a dinner relatively frequently. Mum and I would both always have the breaded garlic mushrooms (with a garlic mayo dip) and spicy chicken (chicken marinated in a hot sauce). Then mum started making home-made version of these quite frequently. I think I was around 11 and it was the very first year that I was going to buy christmas presents for the family, with my own pocket money. There was a gift set in boots with three little jars of dips/condiments - a garlic mayo, a hot sauce and something else (maybe a mustard?). This, I thought was perfect and I was so excited to buy it for mum.

When it came to christmas morning. She opened it, and immediately got really huffy, pushing it away without a thank you. She gave me the silent treatment all day and it wasn't until boxing day when I tentatively asked if she liked her present that she finally exploded at me, saying that I was selfish and ungrateful to have basically bought her something that carried the expectation that she would cook dinner for me. Also that these were supermarket staples that she bought most weeks anyway and christmas was supposed to me for special treats. She burst into tears saying that nobody appreciated her.

I still feel awful when I think about it, but in my mind, I was giving something that I thought she liked as much, if not more, than me - plus those dinners were some of my happiest memories, where the whole family was always in a good mood. She never made those dishes again and we stopped going to the pub too 🙁

A similar thing around the same age - I saw boxes of candy canes in the supermarket and was really excited to buy these for my friends. I had never seen these in real life, they only seemed to exist in American films and were therefore really exciting and exotic. Both of my best friends reacted with absolute puzzlement as to why I bought them - they always had them as standard at christmas and knew they could be picked up easily in supermarkets. Also, they both saw them as something to hang on the tree and explained to me that it was a stupid gift to give on christmas day when the tree was about to come down.

You poor thing! I’m always shocked that some mums would be so cold towards their own children. My kids could wrap me up the crappiest gift (I don’t think yours was btw! It was thoughtful and useful) and I’d thank them profusely and give them a hug. Their little faces bursting with pride and excitement, and remembering how I felt exactly the same at that age mean I could never dream of bursting their bubbles in such a cruel manner. Some parents need to grow up, have some grace and also treat their children with kindness especially on a day like Christmas!

SJone0101 · 04/12/2025 10:01

NoKnit · 03/12/2025 14:25

Not quite giving but receiving. A gift I received was what I thought was homemade bath salts so I used them in the bath. I later discovered they were actually a spice mix for steaks/pork chops etc. I felt like a bit of a wally when I found out.

You may have felt silly but at least your vulva was lovely and marinated 😂

Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 10:09

Twiglets1 · 04/12/2025 09:28

Your mum was being really unreasonable.

My husband likes hot sauces (and does most of the cooking in our house) and our son bought him a set of hot sauces for him as a Birthday gift last year.

He loved the gift ... I think your mum is probably prone to histrionics (like my MIL unfortunately).

My DH also got hot sauces from our son. He was pleased.

OP posts:
Chilliandbanana · 04/12/2025 10:12

I got a used compact one year from a relative of mine!

Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 10:12

Bahhhhhumbug · 04/12/2025 09:32

I once bought, for a friend who was forever complaining about her bags/wrinkles under her eyes at every meet up, a really good tinted eye cream that l use myself. She had asked what l use several times and said my eyes always looked nice. When l told her she said that was too expensive and she would never pay that.
I hasten to add that when she complained about her eyes, (she was actually very attractive, but had become fixated with her very slight dark circles and a few laugh lines), l always told her there was nothing wrong and she always looked lovely etc.
Well the eye cream went down like a lead balloon, she was really offended and stomped out of our monthly girls get together and told all the group separately how inappropriate and how hurt she was by my gift..
Never spoke to me again or joined our group for any more meet ups .

Edited

A really nice, thoughtful present. Your friend was very strange about it, also bitchy to tell everyone.

OP posts:
Mulledjuice · 04/12/2025 10:14

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 14:14

Uhhhhmmm..... are you my sister 😂

You surely didn't only buy her a box of crackers??

ApocalypseNowt · 04/12/2025 10:18

Not me, but my MIL once got all her DIL magazine subscriptions. My SIL's got things like Good Housekeeping or posh cooking/gardening ones.

I got Take A Break.....

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 04/12/2025 10:22

When DH was little he bought his mum a box of Persil washing powder. His reasoning was that she must really like it because she bought it every week.

I'd like to be able to tell you that 50 years later his present buying skills have improved. Sadly they haven't.

StewkeyBlue · 04/12/2025 10:24

@AgentCooperdreamsofTibet I wish I could send a hug to the child you.

Achewyhamster · 04/12/2025 10:24

NettleTea · 04/12/2025 01:39

when my partner was young he once bought his mum a set of spanners after hearing her complain that she could never find any. she was not impressed.

Ds once bought me a set of allen keys

The same christmas he went to the shop on boxing day and bought me a box of chocolates (they where half price and he didnt have much money-it really was the thought that counts)

Temptation got a bit much on the walk home and I was presented with an empty box!

NauticalMiles · 04/12/2025 10:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I can't stop laughing at this one - has to be a winner!

Arran2024 · 04/12/2025 10:38

Twiglets1 · 04/12/2025 09:28

Your mum was being really unreasonable.

My husband likes hot sauces (and does most of the cooking in our house) and our son bought him a set of hot sauces for him as a Birthday gift last year.

He loved the gift ... I think your mum is probably prone to histrionics (like my MIL unfortunately).

One of my early memories is of my mum being in tears at a present my brother and I gave her for Christmas, only we were so young, my dad had chosen it and wrapped it from us. It was professional sewing scissors - my mum wasn't remotely interested in sewing, but this was the 60s and it was one of those things she had to do from time to time.

She was very upset and every time I saw those scissors I was reminded of how upset she was - she cried and sulked for days and brought it up endlessly.

Onlyhereforthebatshitneighbours · 04/12/2025 10:39

Twiglets1 · 04/12/2025 09:28

Your mum was being really unreasonable.

My husband likes hot sauces (and does most of the cooking in our house) and our son bought him a set of hot sauces for him as a Birthday gift last year.

He loved the gift ... I think your mum is probably prone to histrionics (like my MIL unfortunately).

Or it was the metaphorical straw breaking the camels back...She may have misunderstood the meaning but to me the poor woman sounds like she was very unhappy at the time, doing all the domestic labour and holding all the mental load and being, as she said, unappreciated (probably by her husband)

Qwerty21 · 04/12/2025 10:40

AgentCooperdreamsofTibet · 04/12/2025 09:00

When I was a child, we used to go to a local pub/inn for a dinner relatively frequently. Mum and I would both always have the breaded garlic mushrooms (with a garlic mayo dip) and spicy chicken (chicken marinated in a hot sauce). Then mum started making home-made version of these quite frequently. I think I was around 11 and it was the very first year that I was going to buy christmas presents for the family, with my own pocket money. There was a gift set in boots with three little jars of dips/condiments - a garlic mayo, a hot sauce and something else (maybe a mustard?). This, I thought was perfect and I was so excited to buy it for mum.

When it came to christmas morning. She opened it, and immediately got really huffy, pushing it away without a thank you. She gave me the silent treatment all day and it wasn't until boxing day when I tentatively asked if she liked her present that she finally exploded at me, saying that I was selfish and ungrateful to have basically bought her something that carried the expectation that she would cook dinner for me. Also that these were supermarket staples that she bought most weeks anyway and christmas was supposed to me for special treats. She burst into tears saying that nobody appreciated her.

I still feel awful when I think about it, but in my mind, I was giving something that I thought she liked as much, if not more, than me - plus those dinners were some of my happiest memories, where the whole family was always in a good mood. She never made those dishes again and we stopped going to the pub too 🙁

A similar thing around the same age - I saw boxes of candy canes in the supermarket and was really excited to buy these for my friends. I had never seen these in real life, they only seemed to exist in American films and were therefore really exciting and exotic. Both of my best friends reacted with absolute puzzlement as to why I bought them - they always had them as standard at christmas and knew they could be picked up easily in supermarkets. Also, they both saw them as something to hang on the tree and explained to me that it was a stupid gift to give on christmas day when the tree was about to come down.

This has made me really sad. How awful for you to be treated that way..I'm sorry

RB68 · 04/12/2025 10:52

OK one I received, we had an Aunt who was a thrifty gal - well they were always skint but she wanted us to have something small so one year myself and 2 sisters were gifted a pair of tights each. They must have been out of the bargain basket as they were yellow, turquoise and red normal "nylons" style tights for 11, 9 and 6yr old. I was skinny as a whippet in those days and even I knew they made me look like I had chicken legs, G's were Turquoise to match her eyes and poor old L was a red head anyway and then red legs looks like she had been on holiday without the suncream!!! We still laugh about it to this day - 40 odd yrs later

Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 10:55

Mulledjuice · 04/12/2025 10:14

You surely didn't only buy her a box of crackers??

@Mulledjuice Yes, actually, I did just buy her the crackers. Spent more than on gifts for others because I thought she'd like them, even though I had a limited budget. She's a lot older than me and was already working, and earning a high salary. Well, teachers would disagree about the word 'high' but she was a department head. It was an insane price for crackers, and they were new in mainstream shops, although of course there had probably been much more extravagant versions in places like Harrods for ages. I thought such classy crackers would have been a nice touch as she was so prissy about, and proud of, her New Year table. Also, she liked quirky gifts and was fairly disdainful of people who resorted to boxes of chocs. It makes no difference whether you think it a bad gift or a good one. We've all given and received presents that haven't been liked. The startling thing is her certainty that she was supposed to pull them all at once, whereas most people would have simply cast them aside and either binned them or kept them for a year before donating them to a festive raffle. That was what bemused and amused me in equal measure, and the reason I've remembered it. I only found out what she'd done with them in Jan or Feb when we met quite by chance at a rare visit to our sister. She loves to tell anecdotes, and the crackers were her prize story for the dinner table, no doubt fortified by a glass or 3 of our sister's wine. So she related how clever she'd been in realising the crackers were just a way of delivering gifts, since nobody would have been stupid enough to give crackers. All a touch surreal 😄

OP posts:
BeaRightThere · 04/12/2025 10:55

Kingsleadhat · 04/12/2025 09:42

There was a viral video of this happening to a French kid a few years ago

That was a comedy skit I think? I think it can be firmly filed under Never Happened

Sharptonguedwoman · 04/12/2025 10:57

ContentedAlpaca · 03/12/2025 13:59

Another dementia one. I gave my grandmother a hand wash, which she then proceeded to taste!

yep. Never buy body wash or similar with a picture of fruit. My mother thought it was squash. Moved pronto over to giving her Sanex and similar.

BauhausOfEliott · 04/12/2025 11:10

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 14:34

Didn't bring them. Wasn't Xmas Day. She's way older than me and had left home. She and her husband had a quiet Xmas but had friends in for Boxing Day or New Year every year when she cooked an elaborate meal (she's a brilliant cook) and took pride in making the table look good. I thought posh crackers would have been a nice addition and if she'd had some on Xmas Day they would have been long gone.

To be honest, this just makes it sound like an even weirder gift than in your first post.

Grammarnut · 04/12/2025 11:13

Chilliandbanana · 04/12/2025 10:12

I got a used compact one year from a relative of mine!

Was it vintage? I have a couple of used compacts (and I don't use one) given by my late DM. They are pretty and ornamental. Also you can take out the tray of powder and replace it, usually.

MaturingCheeseball · 04/12/2025 11:14

Glove punch with all those who have experienced ungrateful/offended dms. It’s never acceptable to throw a wobbly or be very lukewarm about any gift, let alone one that a child/youngster or anyone really has put thought into. People should save their ire for cheapskate/passagg presents - inevitably received from a mil !

FestiveFruitloop · 04/12/2025 11:16

MaturingCheeseball · 04/12/2025 11:14

Glove punch with all those who have experienced ungrateful/offended dms. It’s never acceptable to throw a wobbly or be very lukewarm about any gift, let alone one that a child/youngster or anyone really has put thought into. People should save their ire for cheapskate/passagg presents - inevitably received from a mil !

Your last sentence just reminded me, the first Christmas I was with DH my MIL gifted me Delia Smith’s How To Cook. 😄

PaulineMush · 04/12/2025 11:20

Kingsleadhat · Today 09:42
There was a viral video of this happening to a French kid a few years ago

There are plenty of videos on our local FB page about an elephant rampaging through the supermarket carpark - but...spoiler alert it's not actually real.

These threads always end up with (some) people repeating apocryphal stories as if they believe that they really happened to them.

There are some very funny stories on this thread, but there are also lots of posts about things that clearly never happened.

MaturingCheeseball · 04/12/2025 11:20

@Grammarnut - yes, vintage is dicey. I’ve been caught out like that. I posted upthread about the book I carefully sought out for mil; she snorted about being given a charity shop present. I gave dsis an old print of a childhood holiday destination - she said absolutely nothing and I’ve never seen it again.