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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
Lastfroginthebox · 04/12/2025 08:08

Kittylickingplate · 04/12/2025 08:05

I am glad to see this post.
My darling niece died 34 years ago of SIDS and we only have a few photos of her. I was wondering about doing one of those with a photo of my sister holding her in her hospital bed but was worried how it would look.

I think I will leave it.

Thank you for your insight.

I'm glad you've decided to leave it. I'd find it very upsetting to receive any sort of photo like that.

Celiathebanshee · 04/12/2025 08:10

WizardOfAus · 04/12/2025 06:17

Honestly panettone has to be the WORST thing to give at Christmas.

They taste like cardboard and even when someone cuts and serves it, it just sits there going stale because no one wants a slice.

They take up half a cupboard for weeks and gather dust… or are regifted 100 times. Come January there is a nationwide clear out where people finally admit defeat and chuck them in the bin.

If you want to give food gifts at least choose something people might genuinely enjoy instead of the annual dome of disappointment.

You have to make it into bread and butter pudding, it is excellent

CraftyPlayer · 04/12/2025 08:15

Celiathebanshee · 04/12/2025 08:10

You have to make it into bread and butter pudding, it is excellent

I must be weird, I bloody love panettone 😂

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 08:17

WizardOfAus · 04/12/2025 06:17

Honestly panettone has to be the WORST thing to give at Christmas.

They taste like cardboard and even when someone cuts and serves it, it just sits there going stale because no one wants a slice.

They take up half a cupboard for weeks and gather dust… or are regifted 100 times. Come January there is a nationwide clear out where people finally admit defeat and chuck them in the bin.

If you want to give food gifts at least choose something people might genuinely enjoy instead of the annual dome of disappointment.

Well we hadn't meant it to be an awful gift. DH and I enjoy a slice or two with a glass of sweet wine or a cup of tea by the fire, and we bought the same one for us. You can always use any leftover for bread and butter pudding, though in hindsight it was probably large for a man on his own.

Anyway, he clearly agreed with you. He seemed so cross and kept saying "funny sort of cake that was." He was livid that apparently it totally flattened, but firstly, only the densest of fruit cakes would survive being sat on and secondly how the hell does that even happen? It goes straight in the pantry: no dramas. He acted as though it was somehow my fault.

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 08:19

Celiathebanshee · 04/12/2025 08:10

You have to make it into bread and butter pudding, it is excellent

Yes, we cross posted. But ours usually doesn't last to that point anyway!

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 08:20

CraftyPlayer · 04/12/2025 08:15

I must be weird, I bloody love panettone 😂

Have you tried the ones with apricot?

Mymanyellow · 04/12/2025 08:25

Oh @Ralphiemia thats hilarious.
Not me but my mates ex bought her an igniter thing for her gas stove and a subscription to the adult channel. He was utterly bemused when she wasn’t delighted.

MyDeftDuck · 04/12/2025 08:33

Christmas 2024 we received a stollen from OH DB and SIL. We both like a slice of stollen but that one was destined for the bin……….I noticed on the packaging …………“Best before December 2023”! Didn’t even risk putting it out for the birds either. 😱🤢

AgentCooperdreamsofTibet · 04/12/2025 09:00

When I was a child, we used to go to a local pub/inn for a dinner relatively frequently. Mum and I would both always have the breaded garlic mushrooms (with a garlic mayo dip) and spicy chicken (chicken marinated in a hot sauce). Then mum started making home-made version of these quite frequently. I think I was around 11 and it was the very first year that I was going to buy christmas presents for the family, with my own pocket money. There was a gift set in boots with three little jars of dips/condiments - a garlic mayo, a hot sauce and something else (maybe a mustard?). This, I thought was perfect and I was so excited to buy it for mum.

When it came to christmas morning. She opened it, and immediately got really huffy, pushing it away without a thank you. She gave me the silent treatment all day and it wasn't until boxing day when I tentatively asked if she liked her present that she finally exploded at me, saying that I was selfish and ungrateful to have basically bought her something that carried the expectation that she would cook dinner for me. Also that these were supermarket staples that she bought most weeks anyway and christmas was supposed to me for special treats. She burst into tears saying that nobody appreciated her.

I still feel awful when I think about it, but in my mind, I was giving something that I thought she liked as much, if not more, than me - plus those dinners were some of my happiest memories, where the whole family was always in a good mood. She never made those dishes again and we stopped going to the pub too 🙁

A similar thing around the same age - I saw boxes of candy canes in the supermarket and was really excited to buy these for my friends. I had never seen these in real life, they only seemed to exist in American films and were therefore really exciting and exotic. Both of my best friends reacted with absolute puzzlement as to why I bought them - they always had them as standard at christmas and knew they could be picked up easily in supermarkets. Also, they both saw them as something to hang on the tree and explained to me that it was a stupid gift to give on christmas day when the tree was about to come down.

TMMC1 · 04/12/2025 09:03

Yes, at the time a reasonably new friend that lives some distance away from us, known to be a foodie who loves top end restaurants. Sent her a hamper of cheese from Paxton and Whitfield. Turns out she thinks cheese is “the food of the devil”- it’s the one thing she can’t stand!

MaturingCheeseball · 04/12/2025 09:10

I’ve just remembered another one - the Smythson writing paper I got dm. I really thought I’d hit the bullseye this time as she wrote a lot of letters. Sadly not. She was using the pad that dsis had bought her with flowers on the top, whilst the Smythson was scribbled over with shopping lists etc. Incidentally dsis was about three times better off than me yet bought all her presents in the Superdrug sale in January and also they always went down much better than mine…

CraftyPlayer · 04/12/2025 09:14

AgentCooperdreamsofTibet · 04/12/2025 09:00

When I was a child, we used to go to a local pub/inn for a dinner relatively frequently. Mum and I would both always have the breaded garlic mushrooms (with a garlic mayo dip) and spicy chicken (chicken marinated in a hot sauce). Then mum started making home-made version of these quite frequently. I think I was around 11 and it was the very first year that I was going to buy christmas presents for the family, with my own pocket money. There was a gift set in boots with three little jars of dips/condiments - a garlic mayo, a hot sauce and something else (maybe a mustard?). This, I thought was perfect and I was so excited to buy it for mum.

When it came to christmas morning. She opened it, and immediately got really huffy, pushing it away without a thank you. She gave me the silent treatment all day and it wasn't until boxing day when I tentatively asked if she liked her present that she finally exploded at me, saying that I was selfish and ungrateful to have basically bought her something that carried the expectation that she would cook dinner for me. Also that these were supermarket staples that she bought most weeks anyway and christmas was supposed to me for special treats. She burst into tears saying that nobody appreciated her.

I still feel awful when I think about it, but in my mind, I was giving something that I thought she liked as much, if not more, than me - plus those dinners were some of my happiest memories, where the whole family was always in a good mood. She never made those dishes again and we stopped going to the pub too 🙁

A similar thing around the same age - I saw boxes of candy canes in the supermarket and was really excited to buy these for my friends. I had never seen these in real life, they only seemed to exist in American films and were therefore really exciting and exotic. Both of my best friends reacted with absolute puzzlement as to why I bought them - they always had them as standard at christmas and knew they could be picked up easily in supermarkets. Also, they both saw them as something to hang on the tree and explained to me that it was a stupid gift to give on christmas day when the tree was about to come down.

Sorry but I think that one is on your mum. Your gift sounded very thoughtful to me. I can’t imagine reacting like that to a gift my child clearly thinks I’d love, even if I had to fake a smile.

CraftyPlayer · 04/12/2025 09:17

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 08:20

Have you tried the ones with apricot?

Ooh don’t think so. I’m tempted to buy one of the ones with pistachio cream I keep seeing everywhere.

Alwaystired23 · 04/12/2025 09:18

My dad had to have his dog pts a year ago. So for Christmas I got a photo of her on a slate made. He burst in to tears on Christmas day, couldn't talk and wouldn't look at the picture. I felt terrible. It's only in the last few months the picture has gone up in their house.

Arran2024 · 04/12/2025 09:18

WatchThisGladys · 04/12/2025 00:19

My uncle liked cars, so one of his kids got him a model of a car made from white chocolate. At least that's what Uncle thought it was. He bit into it and started spluttering. It was soap.😝

When my girls were about 7/8 we visited an elderly lady at Christmas. She had laid various things out and asked the girls to choose one each. My younger daughter chose a box of soaps in the shape of ducks. I thought it was cute and more appropriate than the eg head scarf or vase options. But on the way home in the car she bit into one, thinking it was chocolate. We have never let her forget it!

Curlybrunette · 04/12/2025 09:19

One year for my mum, dad, sister and brother in law, I decided as well as buying them normal presents (spent the usual amount) I also made some small charity donations to charities I thought they'd appreciate:
Dad - a rugby league charity (can't remember who it supported but my dad is a huge RL fan)
Mum - Cancer charity
Sister - Supporting young people in care
Bro in law - Help for Heroes (he's ex military)

When they opened the envelopes they just looked confused. I tried to explain that we were all so lucky to have each other and a warm house to eat a lovely christmas dinner etc etc that I wanted to support some people who weren't so lucky, and explained why I'd chosen those particular charities for them,

Still just confusion.

They didn't get it and I got the impression they thought it was a total waste of money.

ReyRey12 · 04/12/2025 09:22

NoKnit · 03/12/2025 14:25

Not quite giving but receiving. A gift I received was what I thought was homemade bath salts so I used them in the bath. I later discovered they were actually a spice mix for steaks/pork chops etc. I felt like a bit of a wally when I found out.

Technically a bath is just a human soup. So makes sense to spice it up.

Lastfroginthebox · 04/12/2025 09:23

CraftyPlayer · 04/12/2025 09:14

Sorry but I think that one is on your mum. Your gift sounded very thoughtful to me. I can’t imagine reacting like that to a gift my child clearly thinks I’d love, even if I had to fake a smile.

Exactly. My DC bought me an expensive present for a big birthday. It turned out to be something I very much did not want (a new version of something I've used and loved for years). I still smiled and said I loved it - and I really did love the thought behind it, even if they'd got it wrong. I will use the new one anyway and carry on being grateful for having lovely DC who sometimes make mistakes.

Cornflakegirl7 · 04/12/2025 09:23

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 03/12/2025 16:08

Years ago we bought a cordless phone for DPIL. They were quite new and although PIL were only in their sixties they didn't get the concept. They were very polite but clearly couldn't see the point of it.

A year or two later other family members started buying them and all of a sudden PIL were busting with pride that they had been early adopters of this wonderful device.

Thirty + years later, when we were touching 60 our own DC bought us an Alexa. We persevered with it for about 6 months but eventually gave up. I didn't find instructing it to turn on the lights any more convenient than flicking a switch and I disliked the way any random conversations were suddenly reflected in all our online ads. However whilst it was up and running DS had loads of fun playing tricks on us whilst controlling it from his uni 600 miles away!

😆 when my (extremely irritating to the point of borderline a bully!) Lodger moved out he took an alexa with him that was still connected to my amazon account. I had great fun setting it to play slayer or similar at daft o'clock in the morning. I am not anything like that normally but by God he was awful to live with. He knew it and blamed it on ASD or 'being from(insert town) and we're blunt!'.

No, you're just a horrible person.

Twiglets1 · 04/12/2025 09:28

AgentCooperdreamsofTibet · 04/12/2025 09:00

When I was a child, we used to go to a local pub/inn for a dinner relatively frequently. Mum and I would both always have the breaded garlic mushrooms (with a garlic mayo dip) and spicy chicken (chicken marinated in a hot sauce). Then mum started making home-made version of these quite frequently. I think I was around 11 and it was the very first year that I was going to buy christmas presents for the family, with my own pocket money. There was a gift set in boots with three little jars of dips/condiments - a garlic mayo, a hot sauce and something else (maybe a mustard?). This, I thought was perfect and I was so excited to buy it for mum.

When it came to christmas morning. She opened it, and immediately got really huffy, pushing it away without a thank you. She gave me the silent treatment all day and it wasn't until boxing day when I tentatively asked if she liked her present that she finally exploded at me, saying that I was selfish and ungrateful to have basically bought her something that carried the expectation that she would cook dinner for me. Also that these were supermarket staples that she bought most weeks anyway and christmas was supposed to me for special treats. She burst into tears saying that nobody appreciated her.

I still feel awful when I think about it, but in my mind, I was giving something that I thought she liked as much, if not more, than me - plus those dinners were some of my happiest memories, where the whole family was always in a good mood. She never made those dishes again and we stopped going to the pub too 🙁

A similar thing around the same age - I saw boxes of candy canes in the supermarket and was really excited to buy these for my friends. I had never seen these in real life, they only seemed to exist in American films and were therefore really exciting and exotic. Both of my best friends reacted with absolute puzzlement as to why I bought them - they always had them as standard at christmas and knew they could be picked up easily in supermarkets. Also, they both saw them as something to hang on the tree and explained to me that it was a stupid gift to give on christmas day when the tree was about to come down.

Your mum was being really unreasonable.

My husband likes hot sauces (and does most of the cooking in our house) and our son bought him a set of hot sauces for him as a Birthday gift last year.

He loved the gift ... I think your mum is probably prone to histrionics (like my MIL unfortunately).

Bahhhhhumbug · 04/12/2025 09:32

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 14:16

A lovely story.

I once bought, for a friend who was forever complaining about her bags/wrinkles under her eyes at every meet up, a really good tinted eye cream that l use myself. She had asked what l use several times and said my eyes always looked nice. When l told her she said that was too expensive and she would never pay that.
I hasten to add that when she complained about her eyes, (she was actually very attractive, but had become fixated with her very slight dark circles and a few laugh lines), l always told her there was nothing wrong and she always looked lovely etc.
Well the eye cream went down like a lead balloon, she was really offended and stomped out of our monthly girls get together and told all the group separately how inappropriate and how hurt she was by my gift..
Never spoke to me again or joined our group for any more meet ups .

Bahhhhhumbug · 04/12/2025 09:34

Sorry didn't mean to quote you 'ldontpostmuch'

meg54 · 04/12/2025 09:35

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 14:17

I shouldn't laugh but it's funny.

I've been on M&S website this morning to order 2 everyday quick dry towels. I then decided to order 4 new flannels, took me about 20 minutes to find then as the website directed me to tartan PJ's!!

Snugs10 · 04/12/2025 09:37

333FionaG · 03/12/2025 14:48

How much gin was in each cracker?! The gin crackers I bought contained about a teaspoonful in each, not enough to get anyone remotely sloshed.

I would imagine a miniature bottle in each so if 6 crackers 6 double gins

tygertygers · 04/12/2025 09:41

morden123 · 03/12/2025 14:01

When I was about 9 (many moons ago) I went every week to a gift shop to pay off a Christmas present for my mum and dad, a little old man and lady in rocking chairs money boxes. Mum and Dad were only in their early 40's!!!, they had the good grace to not say anything bad

This is both sweet and hilarious!

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