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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
PoorUncleBarry · 04/12/2025 00:17

My mum and dad (they're both gone now) was asked to pop in Lidl and pick up a birthday cake on their way to my 7 year old nieces birthday party. We all went, gave niece her cake and she announced to a room full of people that it was "cheap shit" and they didn't want any. My sister laughed, my niece laughed, and I never bought the children any gifts thereafter.

WatchThisGladys · 04/12/2025 00:19

My uncle liked cars, so one of his kids got him a model of a car made from white chocolate. At least that's what Uncle thought it was. He bit into it and started spluttering. It was soap.😝

Lostxmasfairy · 04/12/2025 00:27

Iknowdino · 03/12/2025 10:53

I bought my grandma a pair of what I thought were lovely slippers one year when she was starting with dementia. She went absolutely mad about how awful they were! Obviously she wasn't aware of what she was doing.

Bought dd2 one of those ride on blow up bouncy hoppers for her 2nd Christmas, she liked the feel of the rubber and bit a hole in it about 10 minutes after we have it to her!

I'm laughing at the image of your sister pulling all the crackers though, sorry!

My son did the same with the hopper thing when he was 2. He can't have balls cause he bites holes in them too.

MissUnicorn · 04/12/2025 00:29

When I was young my mum told me to choose a present for my sister's childminder.
She loved peeking out the window, but she lived on the 3rd floor so would say things like "I wonder what so-and-so got from the shops now".
I got her a pair of binoculars and she was so mad!
I was so confused. 😂

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 04/12/2025 00:45

A near miss in a Secret Santa at work.
I'd picked out the name of a newly-divorced young colleague who was planning lots of travel abroad as part of her "new me" regime., and was open to meeting someone new. I spotted a book that would be perfect for her - how to chat up men in different countries and languages. With 2 days to go, I found the slip of paper and realised, to my horror, I'd misread the name on it (the two names were anagrams of each other). The actual colleague was a very devout Muslim, happily married and pregnant!! Thank goodness I had time to buy her a scenic calendar instead.

Calendulaaria · 04/12/2025 01:17

pottylolly · 03/12/2025 14:22

Lol I bought a set of 6 gin crackers for my sister and she proceeded to drink all of them on the spot. I think that was the worst Christmas as she passed out and lost bowel control in the downstairs loo & I had to clean everything up.

This one made me lol omg

NettleTea · 04/12/2025 01:39

when my partner was young he once bought his mum a set of spanners after hearing her complain that she could never find any. she was not impressed.

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/12/2025 01:41

NettleTea · 04/12/2025 01:39

when my partner was young he once bought his mum a set of spanners after hearing her complain that she could never find any. she was not impressed.

I asked for a socket set for three years running before someone (my father iirc) finally accepted that I meant it and bought one!

DreamTheMoors · 04/12/2025 01:42

I was watching an American chat show once and they got on this very subject. They asked people at home to FAX in their worst gifts.
This woman sent in that her lovely, loving - but extremely naive - MIL got her a long teeshirt for Christmas that had great big red HO on the front.
MIL thought it was very festive.
😂😂😂
I crack myself up every time I think about that. 😂

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 04/12/2025 03:26

Another dementia one.

I bought my mum a pair of expensive proper sheepskin ugg boots for the house.

She went to try them on, struggled for ages but couldn't get her foot in at all. We eventually realised there was still packing paper stuffed in them, had a laugh and sorted that out. She slipped them on easily after that.

She has refused to wear them ever since because all she can remember is that 'they're impossible to get on' and she won't be convinced otherwise.

I wish I was the same size as her, they are really nice!

Londog · 04/12/2025 04:44

My dear mum received an exciting looking birthday gift from her friend donkeys years ago .. it was in fact a packet of 2 rolls of birthday wrap with bows and reels of ribbon … still tickles me now 🤗

Clafoutie · 04/12/2025 05:09

This has made me laugh so much OP, thank you for that! I have a picture in my mind of your sister pulling all the crackers 😆
It is like that bit in Modern Family, where Gloria smashes open the pottery ‘bunny’ Jay has made her, thinking there is jewellery inside!

sashh · 04/12/2025 05:24

This is a birthday one but I think it fits in here.

Many years ago my cousin's son was obsessed with Mr Blobby (he's now a proper grown up adult).

So on his birthday she arranged for her brother to hire a Mr Blobby costume. Obviously he couldn't drive in it so got a lift from a friend and apparently delighted a lot of children on the way by waving at them.

So at the party there is a knock on the door and there is Mr Blobby, the birthday boy screamed and ran away.

Eventually he (male cousin) took the head off to show birthday boy who was in the costume.

Birthday boy carried on crying and now asking, "Why uncle X, why?"

Othersideofworld · 04/12/2025 05:56

Re the OP’s crackers gift … I was confused, I thought they bought food crackers, for fancy cheese and biscuits! I thought the sister pulled out the food piece by piece!

WizardOfAus · 04/12/2025 06:17

Calliopespa · 03/12/2025 14:44

Well I'm not your sister op. I think it's a lovely idea - and I know exactly what you mean about something (usually fripperies!) you'd love to buy but can't justify buying yourself.

My badly received gift was to an elderly neighbour (now deceased) to whom we always gave some Christmas mince pies. One year I thought I'd mix it up and DH and I chose a lovely panetonne from an Italian deli. For some reason he sat on it - and, even more inexplicably, he told us he had. I explained over the phone it was a panettone and he just kept saying "panna WHAT?"

Honestly panettone has to be the WORST thing to give at Christmas.

They taste like cardboard and even when someone cuts and serves it, it just sits there going stale because no one wants a slice.

They take up half a cupboard for weeks and gather dust… or are regifted 100 times. Come January there is a nationwide clear out where people finally admit defeat and chuck them in the bin.

If you want to give food gifts at least choose something people might genuinely enjoy instead of the annual dome of disappointment.

LookAtTheField · 04/12/2025 07:06

Ralphiemia · 03/12/2025 23:26

A couple of Christmases ago my DDIL bought me a hideous white faux fur circular bed jacket it looked like something Miss Havisham would wear. Anyway I pretended to love it and wore it throughout our Christmas Day FaceTime call to her in America expressing my delight in such a beautiful gift, I did think she had a slightly bemused look during the call but thought she also then realised how horrific it was.
When I donated it to the charity shop in the new year they said it was the nicest Christmas tree skirt they had seen, I was mortified 😂

That is so funny!

Bloozie · 04/12/2025 07:15

ErrolTheDragon · 03/12/2025 16:03

If they’ve asked you not to buy them presents and get upset by them why on earth try to force them to ‘receive them graciously’ before you’ll stop?Confused You’re making this about you not what they really want.

my mother got to the stage where she genuinely didn’t want anything getting for her. However she had very little spare cash so asked me to get some small gifts for the staff of her care home instead so that worked out well. I don’t suppose there’s any charity or suchlike your parents support if they honestly don’t want gifts?

Ah. I guess you’d need to understand my mum in particular. If I actually stopped, there would be dramatics over having nothing to open at Christmas and no one caring about her.

If I ask what she wants and get that, I either get it wrong (the camera bird box) or get it right but she moans anyway. She asked for a plant one year and has been trying to give it me back ever since.

she genuinely doesn’t know how to be grateful. Not just for presents - for any of the things she is blessed with.

opencecilgee · 04/12/2025 07:27

I don’t think your sister misunderstood the cracker gift. I think you are the mistaken one 😆

TiredofLDN · 04/12/2025 07:28

GingersOwner26 · 03/12/2025 22:52

Nieces got me a "cat lady ornament" for Christmas about 3 years ago, yes I am a cat person but the cat lady looks about twice my age! (I do have the ornament on display though).

Are your nieces Gen Z? If so this was a powerful compliment. Taylor Swift was dubbed a “(childless) cat lady” by Donald Trump, so as a fuck you to Trump, the young people really leaned into “cat lady” as an sort of aspirational / honorific title

CraftyPlayer · 04/12/2025 07:29

Not a mistake, but a wtf were they thinking.
I was 16, had my first ever proper boyfriend, Christmas morning with my family sat around the tree opening our presents and I come to one from my boyfriends mum. It was a black tight fitting tshirt with the words ‘horny devil’. I was mortified, my mum was livid and was off with me all day 😂

Lastfroginthebox · 04/12/2025 07:31

Allseeingallknowing · 03/12/2025 23:19

Years ago, when I lived in the far east, the childminder gave me vaginal deodorant spray- I put it down to her understanding of English not being very good, but perhaps it was!

😆😂😆

BeaRightThere · 04/12/2025 07:44

GingersOwner26 · 03/12/2025 22:51

I have to admit, I was a bit surprised at Mein Kampf being available to buy for a gift.

As far I as I understand it, it's available for sale in Germany but only in heavily annotated academic versions. I could be wrong. Regardless this definitely wasn't true

Rosealea · 04/12/2025 07:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

This "Story" has been doing the rounds for years!

Farticus101 · 04/12/2025 07:50

PorridgeAndSyrup · 03/12/2025 20:29

A friend of mine who had a very stressful job received a set of “relaxation” toiletries and candles from another friend. She was really offended, and distanced herself from said friend after that. I didn’t dare tell her I didn’t understand what the problem was and that I thought it was quite a thoughtful present…

Oh dear, I've been giving stressed friends that kind of gift for ages! I wonder if they know it is kindly meant 🤔

Kittylickingplate · 04/12/2025 08:05

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/12/2025 22:17

I agree as people react differently to things.

My sister AI'd a photo of her with our grandmother. She animated it like a little film as if her and Grandma were hugging. Grandma has been dead for 20 years. It freaked me out massively and I burst into tears. I can't really explain my reaction except that it felt.....creepy. It was horrible. We both adored our Grandma and she loved us sooo much, so I am not sure why her being "brought to life" upset me so much but I was in tears on and off all night. She loved it and she really hadnt meant to upset me like that, it was done with love. I love my sister and I know that there isnt a spiteful bone in her body (well ok, thats a total lie but not towards the immediate family!).

So as a PP said, with things like that you have to be very careful as they often land differently to how you intended which is why I would avoid those sorts of gifts now

I am glad to see this post.
My darling niece died 34 years ago of SIDS and we only have a few photos of her. I was wondering about doing one of those with a photo of my sister holding her in her hospital bed but was worried how it would look.

I think I will leave it.

Thank you for your insight.