Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 03/12/2025 22:17

JaffavsCookie · 03/12/2025 21:47

Yeah sorry, the cushions were a super weird present. Meat hamper good though

I agree as people react differently to things.

My sister AI'd a photo of her with our grandmother. She animated it like a little film as if her and Grandma were hugging. Grandma has been dead for 20 years. It freaked me out massively and I burst into tears. I can't really explain my reaction except that it felt.....creepy. It was horrible. We both adored our Grandma and she loved us sooo much, so I am not sure why her being "brought to life" upset me so much but I was in tears on and off all night. She loved it and she really hadnt meant to upset me like that, it was done with love. I love my sister and I know that there isnt a spiteful bone in her body (well ok, thats a total lie but not towards the immediate family!).

So as a PP said, with things like that you have to be very careful as they often land differently to how you intended which is why I would avoid those sorts of gifts now

Calliopespa · 03/12/2025 22:20

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/12/2025 22:17

I agree as people react differently to things.

My sister AI'd a photo of her with our grandmother. She animated it like a little film as if her and Grandma were hugging. Grandma has been dead for 20 years. It freaked me out massively and I burst into tears. I can't really explain my reaction except that it felt.....creepy. It was horrible. We both adored our Grandma and she loved us sooo much, so I am not sure why her being "brought to life" upset me so much but I was in tears on and off all night. She loved it and she really hadnt meant to upset me like that, it was done with love. I love my sister and I know that there isnt a spiteful bone in her body (well ok, thats a total lie but not towards the immediate family!).

So as a PP said, with things like that you have to be very careful as they often land differently to how you intended which is why I would avoid those sorts of gifts now

I think for me it would land a bit like puppeteering them, or robbing them of autonomy. Not sure if that's what you felt?

But yes, these things are very different for different people.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/12/2025 22:21

ThatSillyFox · 03/12/2025 21:42

When I was 7 or 8 my granny too me shopping to get something for my parents. I picked out a lovely cheese board for them, wrapped it beautifully and then proceeded to hide it under my bed ready for Christmas Day. Unfortunately she took me shopping about 2 weeks before Christmas 🙈😳 the whole lot went mouldy and seeped cheese juice all over my bedroom carpet 😂😂

I hope that they appreciated the thought though! I would. I would have been gutted if my child had tried so hard and it had been ruined for them. I bet you were heartbroken!

RSavernake · 03/12/2025 22:23

I remember when I was about 12 or 13 my mum and I used to enjoy watching 'Whose Line is it Anyway?'. When I spotted the accompanying book I thought she might like it as Christmas present She seemed to quite like it when she opened it. A couple of years later we looking through the bookshelf for something and she spots it ' Oh, there's that awful book your brother got me.' she says.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/12/2025 22:25

Calliopespa · 03/12/2025 22:20

I think for me it would land a bit like puppeteering them, or robbing them of autonomy. Not sure if that's what you felt?

But yes, these things are very different for different people.

I dont think the autonomy thing, but perhaps the puppeteering....yes. Plus I know when the photo was taken, and I know that it was just a photo so seeing it move was just weird. That photo has been pride of place in my sisters house for years.

If she had sent a video that she had found of her (Grandad had a huge amount of cinefilms and slides as it was his hobby) I would have been thrilled. I would have cried but happy tears to remember her. This felt, like I say, creepy.

Grammarnut · 03/12/2025 22:35

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 03/12/2025 19:33

To be fair, why would you give someone crackers as a gift when they're not even guaranteed to win one cracker prize!

To be fair, I agree. It wouldn't occur to me to give crackers as a gift. Both sisters are weird. Not sure which is weirder.

oldmanandtheangel · 03/12/2025 22:37

Ha I just remembered a classic! I worked in a crystal shop, we sold these super powerful hematite magnets. Stuck for a stocking filler for my dad I got him a pair as he'd often had fun with my own magnets...
Was at my parents with then boyfriend and dad opens his presents and holds them up to the tv and twists them. Suddenly the screen goes all psychedelic. My mum doing her nut, Stop Stop!
Don't worry, it will go back to normal, I said, nervously....
I can tell you that it didn't. Mum yelling at me, why on earth did I buy my dad those, you know what a big kid he is and loves experimenting... the mother of all rows kicked off and then DP and I made a quick exit!
Still makes me chuckle guiltily though... (yes they had to get a new tv.. gulp)

Misunderstood Xmas gift
Arran2024 · 03/12/2025 22:45

We made a Chrustmas visit to my husband's elderly aunt and took her sone flowers. She went completely berserk, screaming at me that she wasn't dead yet, and told me to get them out of the house. When she had calmed down she showed me her artificial flowers and how much nicer they were than the real thing!

WhosMadeline · 03/12/2025 22:47

perenniallymessy · 03/12/2025 15:12

I'm wondering if your son grew up to be the husband that ate the bird fat ball thinking it was an artisanal snack (post on here quite a while ago).

I loved the fat ball story! He said, “those scotch eggs were a bit greasy”!! 😅

GingersOwner26 · 03/12/2025 22:51

BeaRightThere · 03/12/2025 17:13

It can't be real.

I have to admit, I was a bit surprised at Mein Kampf being available to buy for a gift.

GingersOwner26 · 03/12/2025 22:52

morden123 · 03/12/2025 14:01

When I was about 9 (many moons ago) I went every week to a gift shop to pay off a Christmas present for my mum and dad, a little old man and lady in rocking chairs money boxes. Mum and Dad were only in their early 40's!!!, they had the good grace to not say anything bad

Nieces got me a "cat lady ornament" for Christmas about 3 years ago, yes I am a cat person but the cat lady looks about twice my age! (I do have the ornament on display though).

MissDoubleU · 03/12/2025 22:52

Whatsthatsheila · 03/12/2025 20:23

Oh ffs!!

I couldn’t reconcile my idea of crackers with a box of trinkets in the OP until I read your comment.

i thought @Idontpostmuch was talking about crackers for cheese!! Like she’d got her a posh wrapped box of I dunno Harrods or fortnum and mason ones instead of the usual Jacob’s 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

No this is exactly what I thought at first too and somehow more weirded out by it being Christmas crackers!!

No matter what’s in them, they’re shite. There’s no need for expensive ones and it’s hardly a gift IMO. For a start, it’s not personal. She’s only gonna get to keep what’s inside one of them 😂🤝

Whatsthatsheila · 03/12/2025 22:58

MissDoubleU · 03/12/2025 22:52

No this is exactly what I thought at first too and somehow more weirded out by it being Christmas crackers!!

No matter what’s in them, they’re shite. There’s no need for expensive ones and it’s hardly a gift IMO. For a start, it’s not personal. She’s only gonna get to keep what’s inside one of them 😂🤝

Edited

Oh thank god it’s not just me that went straight to cheese. I blame the Christmas tree. As soon as it goes up my thoughts revolve around cheese

Flibberteegibbet · 03/12/2025 23:01

sprigatito · 03/12/2025 15:22

I gave my then 12yo autistic DS a pair of Doc Martens. He was just entering a grungy phase and I thought he’d love them. He looked deeply confused, looked up at me and said “Why have you bought me lesbian shoes?”

🤣🤣

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/12/2025 23:04

WhosMadeline · 03/12/2025 22:47

I loved the fat ball story! He said, “those scotch eggs were a bit greasy”!! 😅

As I recall the big "WTF?!" about that was that he finished it!

Ivesaidenough · 03/12/2025 23:08

I think crackers are a lovely present.
Edited to say I AM now wondering whether some of the presents I've bought over the years have been similarly misunderstood 😂

Openmouthinsertfood · 03/12/2025 23:08

Something given to me...My mum bought me a very large hamper of Hotel Chocolate Chocolates for Christmas. Very large. That was the year I had been diagnosed as type 2 diabetic!

JudgeJ · 03/12/2025 23:12

Ilovepastafortea · 03/12/2025 17:41

Just been discussing this with DH.

DH commented that I'm good at buying people presents that they want 'just because' and don't wait until birthdays or Christmas. He said that shows my love far more than waiting until a special occasion for their present. He also commented that, as we get older, it's probably a good idea as we may not be here at Christmas.

For example, I was having a sort out of the loft. I found a load of slides from my MIL's house which were from the 1960's & featured DH, MIL & many people who are no longer with us. We had no way of viewing them so, last night I bought a viewer on Amazon which was delivered today. DH was over the moon & agreed that it was better to have the viewer today rather than wait until Christmas.

My scanner, not an expensive one, allows me to save slides onto the computer as photograths and then get them printed.

Allseeingallknowing · 03/12/2025 23:19

Years ago, when I lived in the far east, the childminder gave me vaginal deodorant spray- I put it down to her understanding of English not being very good, but perhaps it was!

Firefumes · 03/12/2025 23:19

I don’t have any major stories but if I feel the person is ungrateful or doesn’t like the gift, I won’t buy for them again.

I’m in my 20s and I first started working whilst at university, so I excitedly bought my family gifts every year and tried to make them happy

my mum would always criticise the gifts I would get her, so I just stopped. I used to put in so much effort, tailor things to her taste, get shop assistants to help me choose a special gift, no budget, but yeah. She took umbrage with everything. Just outright saying it’s bad in front of everyone as she unboxed it. I used to get her say, a YSL lipstick, flowers, a book, a skincare gift set, special chocolates she like etc and she would turn her nose down at everything. I just didn’t know where to go with that attitude, felt I was wasting my money.

my older brother used to lap up all the gifts in an entitled manner so I just stopped. The last thing I got him was a Selfridges gift card as a token gift as to not leave him out but even then, his attitude was shitty. Didn’t say thank you, wasn’t pleasant to spend Christmas with, I instantly regretted spending anything on him
so I stopped getting him token things too.

life is much easier now!

Ralphiemia · 03/12/2025 23:26

A couple of Christmases ago my DDIL bought me a hideous white faux fur circular bed jacket it looked like something Miss Havisham would wear. Anyway I pretended to love it and wore it throughout our Christmas Day FaceTime call to her in America expressing my delight in such a beautiful gift, I did think she had a slightly bemused look during the call but thought she also then realised how horrific it was.
When I donated it to the charity shop in the new year they said it was the nicest Christmas tree skirt they had seen, I was mortified 😂

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/12/2025 23:30

Firefumes · 03/12/2025 23:19

I don’t have any major stories but if I feel the person is ungrateful or doesn’t like the gift, I won’t buy for them again.

I’m in my 20s and I first started working whilst at university, so I excitedly bought my family gifts every year and tried to make them happy

my mum would always criticise the gifts I would get her, so I just stopped. I used to put in so much effort, tailor things to her taste, get shop assistants to help me choose a special gift, no budget, but yeah. She took umbrage with everything. Just outright saying it’s bad in front of everyone as she unboxed it. I used to get her say, a YSL lipstick, flowers, a book, a skincare gift set, special chocolates she like etc and she would turn her nose down at everything. I just didn’t know where to go with that attitude, felt I was wasting my money.

my older brother used to lap up all the gifts in an entitled manner so I just stopped. The last thing I got him was a Selfridges gift card as a token gift as to not leave him out but even then, his attitude was shitty. Didn’t say thank you, wasn’t pleasant to spend Christmas with, I instantly regretted spending anything on him
so I stopped getting him token things too.

life is much easier now!

Good for you. Better you learn to shut down the takers and the ungrateful arseholes early because many people end up spending years trying to get approval or appreciation that will never come. I am glad that you learned this lesson earlier than many of us did!

MyMiniMetro · 03/12/2025 23:42

The biggest flop/genius I’ve seen was a secret Santa. It was a bag of good quality mini-cheeses with a label saying “Because Christmas is all about the baby cheeses”

The recipient kept reading the label out loud saying “I don’t get it” and seeming very annoyed about receiving cheese (no they weren’t vegan or allergic). The office divided into 2 camps- those that were laughing away and those that were very confused as to why people were laughing at the terrible baby cheeses present.

Katflapkit · 03/12/2025 23:44

ContentedAlpaca · 03/12/2025 13:59

Another dementia one. I gave my grandmother a hand wash, which she then proceeded to taste!

Another dementia one. We took in my mum's cat when she moved into a care home. She loved the photos of him I had made into postcard, so one Christmas I thought I would have a calender made up (she loved a themed calendar) but the company said my photos weren't suitable to enlarge. I decided to buy a Tuxedo Cat calendar hoping she may not notice.

The calendar showed a Tuxedo cat around London landmarks. Mum began telling everyone he had met the Queen and he was famous. But they she began to worry about 'cat' kidnappers and I would have to wrangle him into Video calls to prove he was still alive.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 03/12/2025 23:46

I’m team sister… buying a box of crackers which she then has to give to other people to use is a terrible present 🤣 You do know presents are meant to be for the person?! 🤣😜🙈