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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
PorridgeAndSyrup · 03/12/2025 20:29

A friend of mine who had a very stressful job received a set of “relaxation” toiletries and candles from another friend. She was really offended, and distanced herself from said friend after that. I didn’t dare tell her I didn’t understand what the problem was and that I thought it was quite a thoughtful present…

Jaq27 · 03/12/2025 20:31

MatildaEvergreen · 03/12/2025 20:15

I got my kids a keyring with a small thing attached which unscrewed and held a tightly rolled £20. It gave me peace of mind that if they missed the last bus, or the train was cancelled, they'd always have enough for a taxi home. I gave one to DH's niece and it seemed well received. So I gave one to my nephew for Christmas when he was about 14. Despite it clearly saying on the packaging that it was for holding hidden money, my SIL thought we hadn't bought him anything at all but had just palmed him off with the sort of keyring that comes out of a Christmas cracker. So she binned it, not realising there was a £20 note inside.

Argh that’s so annoying! Not just throwing away the £££ but actually thinking you palmed off DN with a cheap gift!

ChampagneLassie · 03/12/2025 20:33

PiePlease · 03/12/2025 14:35

My mum got my dad a set of suitcases, which he opened one by one like Russian dolls, expecting there to be something inside. There was nothing inside.

He thought she was gifting him a holiday, but it was just suitcases. He was very upset!

I love a nice suitcase but equally I can agile expecting an actual gift or assuming this is precursor to a holiday. 🤣

TheHillIsMine · 03/12/2025 20:50

MayaPinion · 03/12/2025 19:14

My mum bought my DB what she thought was a chocolate full English breakfast. Turned out it was a (formerly) frozen full English and has been sitting under the tree for 3 weeks. At least we discovered the cause of the smell.

This makes no sense

Whatadilema · 03/12/2025 20:57

I am taking my elderly mum to Home Bargains on Saturday because she has a particular fondness for their (hideous) nighties. She told me yesterday that she wanted to get some
for my nieces too. What 23 year old doesn’t want a cheap nightie that watches with their somewhat bonkers elderly grandmother? 🤣 I shall be diplomatic and try to steer her to something more suitable!

fatphalange · 03/12/2025 20:58

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 19:22

But she wouldn't have bought crackers for her guests. On Xmas day no guests. At NY, not traditionally cracker day in any case, she wouldn't have had anything so tacky on her table. The point is that they were luxury crackers, and looked good. As regards giving them to guests, many possessions or gifts are for sharing. Expensive glasses or plates only tend to be used when entertaining.

It was a sweet gift, especially at the time when they would’ve been quite fancy. I don’t know why some posters aren’t accepting your explanation! Another way of looking at it is: people give vouchers or cash as presents all the time. In this case you saved your sister the money it would’ve cost her to buy crackers, and even upgraded the crackers she would’ve bought. So it was money in her pocket because you saved her the job of buying crackers= similar to being given money/voucher (only the intended plan for them went out the window as she decided to tear into them then and there 😂 but you couldn’t have predicted that).

ChampagneLassie · 03/12/2025 20:58

@KittyFinlay she sounds like my mum. I don’t buy her gifts anymore. Just stop.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/12/2025 20:58

LittleGreenDuck · 03/12/2025 19:37

When DS was about three I was given a cheese grater. A bit odd, but I thought maybe DH had taken him shopping and that's what he'd chosen. If so, it was very sweet. Nope. Turns out DS wasn't even there when it was bought, DH just thought we needed a new one.

Next birthday DH opened his present "from DS", I'd returned the favour and bought him a potato peeler.

I still get some random gifts, but that was the oddest.

My 30th I discovered that ex DH was going to get me a lawnmower. I have no interest in gardening and it was him that mowed the lawn. That was because "we need a new one". It was his fathers idea, which doesnt surprise me in the slightest. After "words" I got jewellery!

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/12/2025 21:05

NewBrightonEel · 03/12/2025 19:38

She made out it was she who supplied it 😂

I guess technically she did because it was her property but .....I think this is one of those "truthful but not honest" situations!

PleaseAccepyMyUserNames · 03/12/2025 21:06

I still crack up at the memory of my sister buying my mum and dad a smart TV one Xmas because she hated their small, old set. I was advising against it but my sister thought it was a great idea.
When she marched in with it with a big self-satisfied grin, my parents looked exactly like an overwhelmed couple on Bullseye, winning the speedboat 😂
However, they have grown to love the tv and sister was clearly on the nose!

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 21:07

fatphalange · 03/12/2025 20:58

It was a sweet gift, especially at the time when they would’ve been quite fancy. I don’t know why some posters aren’t accepting your explanation! Another way of looking at it is: people give vouchers or cash as presents all the time. In this case you saved your sister the money it would’ve cost her to buy crackers, and even upgraded the crackers she would’ve bought. So it was money in her pocket because you saved her the job of buying crackers= similar to being given money/voucher (only the intended plan for them went out the window as she decided to tear into them then and there 😂 but you couldn’t have predicted that).

Good point re vouchers/cash. Thanks 😁

OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 03/12/2025 21:08

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 20:22

@SarahAndQuack Perhaps weird, perhaps not. Largely a matter of opinion. But that's largely irrelevant. The point is that most people would simply have said 'another useless one' and cast it aside. It's because she got it so wrong as to pull them all that amused me and has remained with me across decades.

Oh, to be fair, that amused me too! I could just picture it from your description.

Hoppinggreen · 03/12/2025 21:09

BeaRightThere · 03/12/2025 17:13

It can't be real.

DH is German and none of his family or friends from Germany would have anything to do with that book

Calliopespa · 03/12/2025 21:10

NewBrightonEel · 03/12/2025 19:38

She made out it was she who supplied it 😂

Ah I see! Still, it is nice it got used. I always suspect large quantities of Christmas hamper goodies find their way to the bin.

KnittedMam · 03/12/2025 21:12

I work in a military medical centre. One year a very young, junior medic drew the senior medical officer in the secret Santa. They had a custom made cushion of the Officer’s dog. Unbeknownst to the young, junior medic the dog had been put to sleep about a month previous……it went down like an absolute shit sandwich, but the officer in question was an absolute prick.

Arran2024 · 03/12/2025 21:12

My niece was given a maternity nightdress by her godmother- she was 9 at the time!

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/12/2025 21:14

AliTheMinx · 03/12/2025 20:00

When I was about 13/14,, I decided to buy some presents for family with my pocket money and tried to think about what they might like and give thoughtful gifts. I had no idea what to get my Grandpa, but I remembered him once saying that he liked spaniels, as there had been one in his office whe he was a clerk during the war. I therefore bought him a sticker saying "I LOVE SPANIELS" from a pet shop (he had never had his own dog!) and he stuck it one of the doors in their house! My Granny said a few years later that an electrician came over to do some work and asked where the dog was..!!!! This story makes me cringe and smile in equal meaaure... a sticker?!?!? What on EARTH was I thinking!!?!

Not as daft as it sounds! Would be burglars are put off by any indication that a dog may be on the premises, which would be why he put it on the door!

TowerRavenSeven · 03/12/2025 21:18

I was about 12-14 (and this will date me horrendously but oh well) and my mother loved Richard Simmons a went on about how she’d like his book Never Say Diet. So I got it for her for Xmas and she gave me the most hurt look I’ve ever seen. To my knowledge she never even opened it. I get it now, but I can also understand why I had got her that, because she’d mentioned she’d like it!

KittyFinlay · 03/12/2025 21:22

ChampagneLassie · 03/12/2025 20:58

@KittyFinlay she sounds like my mum. I don’t buy her gifts anymore. Just stop.

It would not be worth the years of arguments it would cause!

She still tells us how we ruined her life and her mental health by choosing a wedding venue in the town we lived in, not where she lived, 9 years ago.

She often brings up how I didn't visit (because I couldn't get off work) when she had cosmetic surgery 15 years ago.

If I didn't get her a gift, I'd still be hearing about it every Christmas from now until she's no longer with us!

Butthechildrentheylovethebooks · 03/12/2025 21:27

PinkSkies2026 · 03/12/2025 16:08

I bought my dad some Love Cheques. You wrote little things on them that you'd do as a favour. I'm not sure what I was thinking 😂 He had a partner and wasn't sure why I'd given them either.

This is great 😂
Am sitting in my car at DS football training cracking up 😂
Also love the Cossack hat.

PumpkinSpiceAndEverythingNice · 03/12/2025 21:35

ContentedAlpaca · 03/12/2025 13:59

Another dementia one. I gave my grandmother a hand wash, which she then proceeded to taste!

Similar here! Gave Nan some Bayliss and Harding, which she misunderstood as Bailey’s. Fortunately, we stopped her before she had a shot of it.

ThatSillyFox · 03/12/2025 21:42

When I was 7 or 8 my granny too me shopping to get something for my parents. I picked out a lovely cheese board for them, wrapped it beautifully and then proceeded to hide it under my bed ready for Christmas Day. Unfortunately she took me shopping about 2 weeks before Christmas 🙈😳 the whole lot went mouldy and seeped cheese juice all over my bedroom carpet 😂😂

JaffavsCookie · 03/12/2025 21:47

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 03/12/2025 15:10

I once spent quite a bit of money on a meat hamper for my parents and they asked what they were supposed to do with it.

I also got my parents Christmas cushions with embroidered messages in the handwriting of both their mums that I had got from old Christmas cards and they were non-plussed.

Yeah sorry, the cushions were a super weird present. Meat hamper good though

WestwardHo1 · 03/12/2025 22:14

SarahAndQuack · 03/12/2025 18:17

I bet she bloody doesn't!

I was young and clueless and she's a dreadful person (I didn't know at the time how dreadful). I didn't do it out of spite, I did it because she was pregnant. I remain unbothered.

CantBreathe90 · 03/12/2025 22:16

No-one buys Grandad gifts, since he was given a book he didn't like. Not only did he dislike it, he went through it, underlining all the bits which were wrong / poorly written / badly punctuated, so it couldn't even be returned 😂 He has plenty of money to buy himself what he wants, so now just gets his dinner cooked and a nice card.

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