Page 4 | Christmas now unaffordable

purplepentagram · 2025-12-02T18:38:53+00:00

Is there even any point in me bothering with the tree, decs and all that goes with it. When I can’t even afford to do any shopping. all you see in the news is all about how those on benefits are so better off and living a life a luxury…. Well can someone point me in the right direction cause our life sucks. things were ok till my husbands health took a turn for the worse.which is also starting to effect our marriage - for that might as well be over an all. He is now under investigation due to neurological tremors and a few other things. I’m also disabled with physical and neurological issues. I get some pip and my husband gets carers.( he’s not applied for pip due to believing all the nastiness that’s currently going round) Our universal credit is 1085 a month after deductions. Our rent is 700 of that. So we’re living off less than 500 a month. By the time Iv paid all the bills there is nothing left. So what’s the point in even carrying on anymore. Things were manageable even after our youngest child dropped off our claim. ( he’s still in college full time and at home) my daughter has left and gone to uni. My eldest 2 have their own life’s. Am I wrong in telling them not to bother coming home this year and asking my son if he can find a friends to go to instead. We’re down to 2 meals a week, minimal heating due to the amount that British Gas is asking for each month. Iv cancelled everything I could from insurance policies to subscriptions, internet ( that’s due to go off any day now) life is miserable and I can’t seem to find anyway out. We can’t afford to move, or even get on the council list. All the local help has stopped applications and I can’t even get a food bank referral. There is nothing left in our town and trying to find work is impossible. Just keep getting refused. So no Christmas for us this year and the kids have all been told not to bother since there is nothing. I just feel that the only way would be if we wasn’t here to be a burden. We don’t have any other family or friends. So that’s not an option either. Rather fed up on life and how the news is portraying things when it’s way far from reality.

Pumpkinsonastring · 02/12/2025 20:59

(I've never known a charity not give because of religious differences, are you sure?)

It's unclear in OPs posts but I honestly took that as a pride statement. I suspect the issue is they won't ask for help from xyz place because it's a religious organisation with beliefs they don't approve of. The OP themselves could be religious for all we know. Lots of religious people can be quite closed off to the notion of any other religion and could see it as an affront to God (or whatever they call Him) to ask/accept help from another religion's people.

19lottie82 · 02/12/2025 21:01

Hi OP - Something doesn’t sound right with the amount of benefits you’re getting. My boyfriend can’t work as he is being treated for Cancer and has associated health conditions. He gets lower level Adult Disability Payment (Scottish equivalent of PIP I think?) and a few other things. In total including his housing payment he gets around £1300 a month plus his council tax paid, so surely you must be entitled to around that plus £360 a month carers allowance? So £1660 a month ish?

Can you speak to a local benefits advisor to make sure you’re getting everything that you’re entitled to? As someone pointed out, it’s hard to get hard of the citizens advice over the phone but maybe they offer drop in sessions, or there’s another local benefits advisor.

2dogsandabudgie · 02/12/2025 21:04

OP - Are you claiming child benefit for your child who's at college? It stops once they reach 16 but then if they go to 6th form or college you have to let them know and they will continue paying it. Have you done this?

ShieldMaiden8 · 02/12/2025 21:04

If your child is still in full time education you can claim for them until they are 19, UC and child benefit. Talk to someone.

Kirbert2 · 02/12/2025 21:07

19lottie82 · 02/12/2025 21:01

Hi OP - Something doesn’t sound right with the amount of benefits you’re getting. My boyfriend can’t work as he is being treated for Cancer and has associated health conditions. He gets lower level Adult Disability Payment (Scottish equivalent of PIP I think?) and a few other things. In total including his housing payment he gets around £1300 a month plus his council tax paid, so surely you must be entitled to around that plus £360 a month carers allowance? So £1660 a month ish?

Can you speak to a local benefits advisor to make sure you’re getting everything that you’re entitled to? As someone pointed out, it’s hard to get hard of the citizens advice over the phone but maybe they offer drop in sessions, or there’s another local benefits advisor.

Carers allowance is deducted from UC.

19lottie82 · 02/12/2025 21:07

2dogsandabudgie · 02/12/2025 21:04

OP - Are you claiming child benefit for your child who's at college? It stops once they reach 16 but then if they go to 6th form or college you have to let them know and they will continue paying it. Have you done this?

The OP said the youngest is too old for them to claim child benefit for him, and he can’t work and contribute.
they didn’t go into details which is fair enough but at the end of day, it sounds like he has to work and contribute or claim benefits. They can’t afford to subsidise another adult in these circumstances. If he really cannot work, then the college should have support services where they should be able to offer him advice and support.

19lottie82 · 02/12/2025 21:08

Kirbert2 · 02/12/2025 21:07

Carers allowance is deducted from UC.

Show quote history

An ok, my mistake. Apologies.

Original poster

purplepentagram · 02/12/2025 21:09

GinandTonic24 · 02/12/2025 20:47

If your universal credit housing element is less than your rent you can apply for a discretionary housing payment.

Apply for the LCWRA element of Universal Credit.

If your youngest is 18 or 19 you can still get Universal Credit Child Element and Child Benefit for him.

Your husband can apply for PIP without a diagnosis.

If you think your PIP award is wrong, submit a mandatory reconsideration.

You said you don't get any council tax discount, do you get Council Tax Support? If not, apply for that. You can also apply for s13a discretionary relief which means they can reduce your liability to £0.

CAB can help with an emergency food parcel, potentially gas/electric vouchers. If they can't, they'll know of organisations in your area who can. A lot of utility providers have social tariffs.

I really do sympathise and can't imagine how difficult having so many health challenges is, but there is potentially hundreds of pounds of unclaimed benefits you're entitled to. You have to help yourself as well.

According to our council there is no discounts or help for anyone with council tax any more and it’s going up again.

we are not eligible for the discretionary housing bit - uc awards the full rent amount.

my youngest is now 20 so not entitled to anything for him. He can’t claim uc due to being in college full time, he can’t claim student finance for that’s uni only. he wants to work but everywhere he goes he gets turned down due to his own issues and his college times. - he still hasn’t passed his maths or English

iv had our entitlement checked and there is nothing else we can claim. I have checked every option possible. Only to be told sorry can’t help, no or not accepting new applications.

cab - I keep trying but it’s impossible to actually speak to a person and the local office closed down months ago.

there is nothing left in our town. No shops, totally run down, full of dangerous people all times of the day. We don’t even have a bus station, swimming baths, police station because they closed them all down.

OP posts:

Newsenmum · 02/12/2025 21:11

Have you gone to citizens advice? It sounds
really concering op.

With the Christmas thing - op life is hard. For some people putting the tree up gives them that bit of joy. For others it makes it worse. Do what works for you.

Newsenmum · 02/12/2025 21:12

You can chat with citizens advice online

Twittwoooodoyou · 02/12/2025 21:12

Have you applied for the universal credit work capability assessment? You can be awarded around £450 (I do not remember the exact amount).

Is your husband receiving the £200 carers element of universal credit?

It could be worth using a comparison site to check if you are on the cheapest gas & electric tariff.

Have a look if you have a food cycle in your area. Near me they provide cooked meals in various locations each week.

LadyKenya · 02/12/2025 21:13

I am wondering where the OP lives, where there seems to be no support, that she is able to access, and an MP who she has contacted, who has not helped either. There must be some help, somewhere.

GinandTonic24 · 02/12/2025 21:13

purplepentagram · 02/12/2025 21:09

According to our council there is no discounts or help for anyone with council tax any more and it’s going up again.

we are not eligible for the discretionary housing bit - uc awards the full rent amount.

my youngest is now 20 so not entitled to anything for him. He can’t claim uc due to being in college full time, he can’t claim student finance for that’s uni only. he wants to work but everywhere he goes he gets turned down due to his own issues and his college times. - he still hasn’t passed his maths or English

iv had our entitlement checked and there is nothing else we can claim. I have checked every option possible. Only to be told sorry can’t help, no or not accepting new applications.

cab - I keep trying but it’s impossible to actually speak to a person and the local office closed down months ago.

there is nothing left in our town. No shops, totally run down, full of dangerous people all times of the day. We don’t even have a bus station, swimming baths, police station because they closed them all down.

Show quote history

Every Council HAS to have a council tax support scheme. It's the law. If you'd like to message me which area you're in, I can find the details of their scheme and how to apply.

There will also be other support services in your area for help applying for benefits, or national charities who can help by phone.

JacknDiane · 02/12/2025 21:13

Amba1998 · 02/12/2025 20:10

I’m sorry to be blunt but if you really were eating 2 meals a week then your husband would get off his high horse and claim what he’s entitled to!

I agree

ComfortFoodCafe · 02/12/2025 21:13

Your dp needs to try for pip. You need to collect more evidence for your next review so when it comes you can fight for higher rates. Op you need to eat, you will die if you don’t. Look into olio and free to go app

19lottie82 · 02/12/2025 21:14

OP, could your son register with employment agencies for casual work? They’re always looking for people for various roles, and no offence meant but they’re really not fussy (as in your son has no English or maths, or I’m presuming experience), plus as it’s casual shifts you can pick up shifts as and when you want them.

Kirbert2 · 02/12/2025 21:14

Honestly, I'd be making it priority to chase up the biopsy test if your husband has suspected blood cancer. How on earth is it taking so long? My son had blood cancer last year and waiting a year for a biopsy would've killed him.

I'd be making a lot of noise about it. It's completely unacceptable.

Thundertoast · 02/12/2025 21:17

How much do you have for food per month, and what are you and your husband eating currently? You need more meals, we can help you figure out where to get those from your budget and resources.

BankfieldForever · 02/12/2025 21:17

I believe that things are tough, they are for many, but I’m afraid I can’t take a lot of it seriously as you are certainly not eating twice a week ‘if that’. Its not physically possible.

You do have some money coming in and there are food banks who will turn nobody away who goes to them. Come on.

You say you can’t get food help because of different beliefs - I’m assuming you mean you need your food to have been produced to a religious standard - if that’s the case your religious community should have support of that kind available for you to access, surely.

Christmas isn’t real, and not worth getting upset about if you’ve only got adult children. Just don’t do it, its not important.

2dogsandabudgie · 02/12/2025 21:18

Kirbert2 · 02/12/2025 21:14

Honestly, I'd be making it priority to chase up the biopsy test if your husband has suspected blood cancer. How on earth is it taking so long? My son had blood cancer last year and waiting a year for a biopsy would've killed him.

I'd be making a lot of noise about it. It's completely unacceptable.

Yes, under NHS guidelines, a person who is referred for suspected cancer is supposed to be told of the results within 28 days.

themerchentofvenus · 02/12/2025 21:18

@purplepentagram your son needs to try harder to get a job so he can contribute.

Having no GCSE maths and english is irrelevant. There are so many xmas jobs available all over that need no qualifications.

Your husband also needs to make an effort to apply for PIP.

What does the £500 a month left over have to cover?

madaboutpurple · 02/12/2025 21:19

\have you looked at how to feed your family on £20 pounds a week. Lorna has many suggestions for meals for 4 people if this helps. Porridge is worthwhile for breakfasts as it is not expensive and is filling and would mean you start the day with a hot meal. I am so sorry you are only eating twice a week.

Pumpkinsonastring · 02/12/2025 21:21

19lottie82 · 02/12/2025 21:01

Hi OP - Something doesn’t sound right with the amount of benefits you’re getting. My boyfriend can’t work as he is being treated for Cancer and has associated health conditions. He gets lower level Adult Disability Payment (Scottish equivalent of PIP I think?) and a few other things. In total including his housing payment he gets around £1300 a month plus his council tax paid, so surely you must be entitled to around that plus £360 a month carers allowance? So £1660 a month ish?

Can you speak to a local benefits advisor to make sure you’re getting everything that you’re entitled to? As someone pointed out, it’s hard to get hard of the citizens advice over the phone but maybe they offer drop in sessions, or there’s another local benefits advisor.

OP mentioned work in one of her posts so I'm wondering if the problem is that although she's disabled, she's not been found unfit for work. Plenty of disabled people can and do work (although it's probably true the majority are on benefits only, due to the nature of their disability). If she's a jobseeker, all a person gets is unemployment payments and rent payments which often don't cover the actual rent, then the unemployment bit gets spent mostly on rent. She could easily be spending all her PIP on utility bills and council tax (especially if she lives somewhere expensive where even a modest home has a high value and therefore generally a higher council tax banding) if she hasn't yet claimed that benefit, leaving them with a small amount of carer's allowance each week to spend on food, travel, toiletries, pharmacy meds etc. I can see how a person can end up in OPs situation. It won't be long term though, she will die if she continues as she is. Worrying about burdening her children in these circumstances is warped thinking.

OP your children are people, with friends, helpers etc they could ask a question of too. They might have some knowledge or ideas that could help you. You'll never know if you don't speak to them about your situation.

Ncforthiscms · 02/12/2025 21:22

Olio app is also very good for free food.

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/12/2025 21:23

Why do you only eat twice a week?

Lidl own brand porridge is really cheap and nutritious, can make it with half water/half milk. Cheapest way is in the microwave. If you’re struggling with your health you need to eat.

Do your adult children know that you’re basically starving yourself?

Please talk to your GP and get a food bank referral. Malnutrition will make your situation even worse.