DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

[Christmasdayissue]

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU.

Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space.

Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue.

I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

It is absolutely a bodily function. But so is having a poo. What’s next? A turd on the table? By that logic that would be ..fine?

It is the attitude and lack of doing anything about it, not the function.

Surely you can see this??!

It isnt rocket science.

Lots of people have food intolerances. But we either avoid those foods, take enzymes that help digest so we aren't farting everywhere or, at the VERY LEAST, apologise.

Brewers for Christmas dinner.

I went there for breakfast twice mistakenly honestly… that was bad enough and the tables so so close together.

😄

@Christmasdayissue

My MIL also used to have "stomach problems" (ate large amounts of crap) so would just fart out loud. The first time she did it I almost peed myself trying not to laugh.

Are we talking loud and proud or silent and violent?

Just address them as Lord and Lady McFarty Pants, make sure you buy them those self inflating whoopie cushions as Christmas presents, and cook extra Brussel sprouts.

And when one of them farts out loud, look at one of your kids then declare loudly "I hope that wasn't a shart?! Does someone need to go to the toilet??"

I too would find it gross! I wouldn't want to be around it,would make me gag! Though I do sympathise with them that they have food issues...but i have easy gag issues!! . I have told people before, you fart near me thinking it's funny,don't be offended when I vomit,and make sure it goes on you!

Of course it's disgusting. I would hate it too op but you cant uninvite them for that. I mean uninviting someone is a pretty big deal and will probably cause a lot of hurt and upset so I dont think it's worth that. They basically just have bad manners and didn't grow up with the same social rules that you did. They aren't doing anything nasty or hurtful. Regarding your kids I don't think they should learn to bin relationships for something so trivial.

Going out for a walk like pp said after the meal is a good idea. Or just tell them that it really troubles you and could they maybe go to the bathroom. Better still let dh tell them.

Presumably they can’t self serve if you just don’t cook the foods that cause the problem?

Huh?

So op can’t have say cauliflower cheese because two grown ass adults can’t control themselves to not eat it so she has to smell their farts.

Nah the farters can pick to not stuff their faces or they can be decent humans and excuse themselves when they need to stink out the room if they cannot moderate their plates.

I initially thought ‘my house don’t be so rude’ but think I now agree with @ChristmasCrumblings if you make an issue then suddenly you’re the issue not their behaviour. ‘Oh we got un-invited because she is too good for us doesn’t like farting apparently’ blah blah blah. I totally feel your pain. But I think you might have to be ‘the bigger person’ (hate that concept but hey) and just tolerate it for a few hours while silently thinking I’m glad I’m not like that. Great excuse to leave the room, hide in the kitchen and neck some wine if you drink.

suddenly you’re the issue not their behaviour.

So what? If it stops them coming round with their disgusting self-induced non-stop farting, then "you being the issue" a small price to pay

I do think that as you age its natural for your anal sphincter to become a bit more flappy, and so allows wind out more easily, add to this, most peoples glutes as they age, become almost blancmange like, so have very little chance of a nice muscular clutch before that gas escapes.

Is there a North/ South divide about this or something?
I don’t know a single person who would be upset by this.

South. A oops fart would be ignored. Sitting trumpeting away laughing at your own stink gross.

Giving yourself unstoppable stench because you decided to eat something you know sets you off at someone else’s house again. Gross.

I wouldn’t have kept silent about it whilst it was going on. A ‘do you mind?!!’ would have come out before I even thought about it.
Let them go to the pub if they can’t behave like adults.

North: no one would care

I have intolerances. I can have Sunday roast but not with flour on the roasties and i have to have gluten and dairy free stuffing and gravy. That kind of thing. I just take my own. It's easier.

DSIL is 30. I don’t think that’s an excuse for her. I’m older than that and manage to control myself.

And would your parents have loved you finding it so entertaining on Christmas day for an hour?
The odd one, sure, but to be so open about it. It's unpleasant.

North: no one would care

Accidental standing up or bending over fart, absolutely not, doing a Brighouse and Rastrick band impression, yeah I would care.

Do you need to be fed? Do you not have the ability to choose what food you put in your body?

DH is standing firm this evening. Discussed it once the kids were in bed.

I think ‘my shit doesn’t stink’ apparently!

So beautifully put! 😂 I am choosing between "blacmange-like" and "nice muscular clutch" as my favourite phrases on this thread, though flappy anus was also very evocative ( I 'm seeing the nozzle bit on a whoopee cushion).

Tell him you’ll crap in the living room after Christmas dinner and they can all find out whether it stinks? He’s a pig. Unsurprisingly, given that he was raised in a pigpen. 🤮