DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

[Christmasdayissue]

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU.

Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space.

Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue.

I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

Do you fart in bed?

Do you shit in bed?

This hit a nerve with me. If I had been there the first time they did it, I probably would have left my own house and left them to it. I would absolutely tell your DH to take them out for lunch.

No, if there’s someone else sharing the bed, and no

What an obnoxious remark for him to make.

Standing firm about the pub or about them coming to yours for Christmas? Will he say anything to them ahead of time?

Aside from the unpleasantness, what a horrid example for your children. does he want them to be low-class oafs with no social graces?

So you can’t see the difference?

I don’t think the difference is as vast as you obviously do tbh…these people are deliberately, repeatedly releasing really smelly gas in someone else’s home. And laughing about it. It’s really, really rude.

Dunno, they had their fun moments, but also their inhibitions. I do remember my Dad would send any of his dc to stand in the bathroom and count to one hundred every time they farted, but I always suspected it was more the numerical skills he was looking to hone. I was curiously unfarty for many years.

Of course all of this would be way beyond the pale anywhere other than within family; but farty grandparents has a certain Roald-Dahlesque appeal.

Farting can happen soon after eating due to swallowing air, but gas produced by food fermentation in the large intestine typically occurs one to two hours after a meal. Swallowed air can cause immediate burping or gas that moves into the intestines and is released as flatulence. Gas from food fermentation happens as undigested food residues reach the large intestine and are broken down by bacteria.

Either way, your meal didn't cause it.

I laughed out loud at this, not your issue surrounding it, it just tickled me! You must make a very good roast dinner!

Well. Not really. As they’re her in laws for life. And as this thread has shown, lots of people are of the opinion that she’s somehow ‘uptight’ thinking this way. I don’t agree. But if this lovely lady makes a big issue of her in laws farting when it seems she’s the only one with the issue (rightly or not) then who are they going to think is the problem? Husband has already failed to back her. Kids think it’s funny.

Poor OP is just going to have to rise above it and absent herself when they start at Christmas and reduce the invites for food from 2026 onwards would be my advice.

As a survivor of boarding school dormitories, I can confidently confirm farting in bed is de rigeur for many, as is wafting the covers afterwards.

I am unaware of any bed-shitting incidents.

I genuinely feel really sorry for you.

Life must be incredibly stressful for you.

It’s gas. It dissipates.

Proper North. Find it grim.

tell him to sort out the dinner then and you go out

Poor OP is just going to have to rise above it

😂This conjured up an image of OP being lifted into the air and riding out of the room on a wave of fart gas.

Thank you, yes, it is quite stressful when I get trapped with an intolerable stench, especially in a situation where I can’t show distress (like dealing with my dad’s incontinence). I know I’m autistic and have a stronger reaction than most because of my sensory sensitivity, and I do try not to let it impact others - but for family members to do this deliberately, for hours, in my home after I’ve cooked for them, and to find it funny….yeah, I’d struggle to have any positive feelings towards those people.

You’re welcome xx

I had a similar image. I was thinking she'll have to rise really quite high to get above it, as hot air rises.

This made me shoulder shake laugh with a sleeping child next to me, thank you 😂

You make a fair point here actually.

Im with you here. It’s bloody disgusting. Smell makes me wretch. Physically. I’m a sensitive type though. Also have that weird thing where I have to leave the room (discreetly) when someone is munching too loudly. Can’t even go to the cinema as the munching makes me feel sick. It’s a thing but can’t remember the word. But some people literally can’t tolerate certain smells or sounds it makes them feel awful.

Misphonia I think.

I guess loud farting could have a similar effect.

It was an obnoxious and it is interesting, but I actually find coarse language a more offensive sound than a fart.

That’s it. Thank you. I’m always careful
with my kids to say ‘it’s not you it’s me you know I’ve got sensitive ears’ when I have to go out when they’re eating cereal or crisps like any normal child would but to me the sound is painful. It’s bizarre.

you’re being ridiculous. Only on MN is farting considered disgusting

That's not true in my experience. I don't know anyone who wouldn't find the behaviour of OP's in-laws rude, crass and disgusting. I wouldn't be hosting them again OP, take DH up on the offer to take them out (I'm not sure why he feels it's a threat, it sounds ideal to me. Revolting behaviour.