DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

[Christmasdayissue]

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU.

Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space.

Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue.

I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

Id find this hilarious.

I'd pour myself a large glass of wine and sit down (at a safe distance) with a good book after dinner.

Of course they can manage it better than letting it all rip in the shared space of a home where young children think it's hilarious.
Sure, we all have a giggle at a fart, nothing to be ashamed about etc etc, but I really don't want it to be a source of entertainment for my children on Christmas day.
I'm sure they don't do it at work, or on public transport or in the cinema.

I would find it disgusting and would not be amused .

This.
That sound a bit Grim
It would put me right off my Baileys and Ferro Rocher.

Bet your dc had the times of their lives.

It's hard to know without knowing the true extent, but if it was a handful through the evening I'd say loosen up a bit op - and careful you don't let one slip!

I can see that an absolute storm of galeforce wind with little let-up might be off-putting but they can't have kept that up all through DH's childhood so I'm assuming it was at normal levels.

You may find yourself there one day op: MN reliably informs us that it becomes less controllable as the years pass. One might say the more years pass, the more wind passes.

Honestly, if my grandparents had come at Christmas and farted right through I'd have loved it as a child.

I only once heard my GF let one slip - and when I say one, I think he had been holding several in. He was gardening.

If you were considering a divorce because your DH was doing ALL the work - before and after - and the family was behaving like pigs, I"d say you would be doing your DH is a big favour 😂

It's very controlling to prevent your DH having family over at Xmas
no one is stopping him, not in the OP's home if the guests can't show her a minimum respect. Would you really not support your own partner if your family was being rude and disrespectful to him? wow

It's nearly a month, letting DH organise a change of plan is absolutely reasonable.

They are very rude, they can go to the pub and fart in there.

Imagine being this controlling and ridiculous.

On the contrary I hope he happily accepts and he can have a relaxed Christmas with his family without treading on eggshells. Op is completely over reacting. All that needs said is a polite word asking them to try and be a bit more considerate if possible but personally if they are otherwise fine I would far rather value the great relationship and just get on with it.

disrespectful towards you op. No way would I have anyone farting repeatedly near me or in my house on any day let alone the holiday. I can’t even read this thread it has me grossed out too…posters saying it’s amusing and no big deal.

DH can take them to the pub and if they proceed to fart with impunity there I’m sure DH feel a bit different when the wait staff and other diners seem equally grossed out.

This

That's grim. I wouldn't want to be breathing in air that's passed through their arseholes

Same!

My family happily fart away. But they know I don’t like it. So dad and kids do it when I’m not there…in the car, in the house if I’m not in them. But when mammy is around they don’t as they know I hate it so they’re respectful. They’ll go to the loo if they must. It’s a good balance. They can break wind I’m not stopping them but I they dont do it loudly or smelly-ly infront of me as I don’t like it. I’m not a prude. I just find it awful. And YES I break wind everyone does but id never do it loudly infront of others. If one comes out by accident im embarrassed and apologise and go to the loo if possible, People should respect others wherever possible. If you really don’t like people burping or breaking wind in your lounge it’s your lounge you’re entitled to say so.

just don’t cook a roast then

I mean you say you didn’t force them to eat but did you really make sure there was a proper dinner they could eat without upsetting their stomach?

I’m not much of a farter myself - if I ever feel the urge it’s a signal I need to poo and I follow that signal. Noe do I find farting funny.

that being said, you are being unreasonable. These women have a health condition that puts this outside their control. You should be more ubder
sta.

Just ignore it, open a window if necessay and get on with your day. The novelty will wear off for your children soon enough.

I know. Fun fact: farts are actually airborne micro particles of faeces.

This! Make it fun. I can't say I love the idea of people farting non stop in my living room, but if it keeps the kids entertained for a while, I'd probably suck it up. It should give you, DH and the kids something to laugh about for a while.

Ps you don’t have to have an intolerance to fart. Most Sunday lunch veg will cause gas.

Weirdly, people who do this will do it in their home, or someone else’s home, but wouldn’t do it if in a restaurant or similar. So I don’t buy the ‘oh, I can’t help it, it just happens’ bs. I think it’s disrespectful.

Well I hate to tell you that if you've ever been in a classroom, theatre, aeroplane, mall etc you've gulped down plenty.

For some reason I find belching more offensive. It seems more intentional and has a more crude, less amusing sound.

You just don't hear it at the pub/in a restaurant.

Indeed, Queen of Kale!

Coming from someone with ‘stomach issues’ they should know what foods to avoid if it causes them to fart that much. I’d never fart around family like that and I’d make sure I didn’t eat anything that upset my stomach.

Id not want them around either tbh.