DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

[Christmasdayissue]

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU.

Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space.

Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue.

I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

Nope. Never had anything deleted. I'm sure you have though.

thats vile - I’m with you OP

I have lactose intolerance, a pork intolerance, and serious digestive disorders. I'd be spending the whole day outside. No. Its natural and normal to fart. Just do your best to make it silent like you did in school.

For for goodness sake, don’t give them sprouts with their Christmas dinner or they will be 10 times worse.

Personally, I think this is very unladylike and uncouth behaviour in someone else’s home. I would be inclined to have a word with them prior to Christmas..

I can't believe that so many adults seem to believe it's ok to fart in front of others. It's disgusting, gross, and terrible manners. I would never want them back in my home.

Yep. None of the "oooh farting is so funny hee hee hee hee - oooh don't be so uptight!" posters have ever just sat there ignorantly and repeatedly farting with no attempt to stop or apologise.

It is absolutely basic manners not to this. Everyone knows this, regardless of the usual suspects claims.

Nah, fuck that shit. He can cook. Stop being soft on him. He cooks or you eat basic food like pizzas etc. why should you do it all while he tells you “your shit doesn’t stink” off he fucks into the kitchen, I’d be sat happily drinking my bucks fizz

I know it’s a perfectly natural bodily function, but I would hate this. If someone lets a fart slip out as a one off it can be funny, but people keeping on parping away on my furniture would really irritate me. And I’m hyper sensitive to smells🤢 I would still have the IL’s for Christmas, but have an honest conversation about which elements of the food could have caused this and maybe make some adjustments. You don’t have to mention farts - just show some concern for their dodgy tums.

It sounds like you have married someone of a different social class and with very different values.

I'd be interested in what these other redeeming qualities are.

They sound absolutely revolting. I can fart with the best of them but I manage to take myself off somewhere private to do it! It’s just basic good manners.

You just need to tell thwm. You're welcome to come but please don't fart. Go to the bathroom if you need to .... Your DH needs to lead on this

I’m 💯 with you OP. I couldn’t have them back in my house again … it’s gross! We all pass wind but they could easily go to the bathroom.

Yep, you have, repeatedly. HTH.

You're welcome to come but please don't fart.😂

The situation is they CHOSE to eat foods they knew would cause farting plus that it happened immediately after eating shows either they ingested a lot of air as they ate OR they had already loaded up before arriving.
Since this is the first time it's happened - and in a newly acquired house - and it was repeated, not just once or twice - it sounds to me like it was planned. Very rude and very much insulting to you.

So do I. Farting is embarrassing. It depends how far you are into the menopause how much control you have over farts. At some point, not much. True, DP's IL's do seem rude - it's not just the farting.

Are you saying you think they were trying to taint/pollute the new house with fart?

But once in menopause most women do.

It does affect something, your nose and your well-being.

I don't want to smell the byproduct gas of other people's gut bacteria breaking down food in their intestines thanks.

Maybe they were having a dig at the OP ganging up knowing it would upset her and that her DH wouldn't support her? She has basically been told she's making a fuss about nothing, she's giving herself airs and has to lump it because she isn't the major breadwinner even though she seems to be the only one actually doing anything towards hosting.

she's giving herself airs

And they thought "we'll give you air alright ..."!

@Calliopespa

And they thought "we'll give you air alright ..."!

😂

It’s half 2 am here, I can’t sleep, reached for MN to hopefully tire my eyes out and instead I’m childishly laugh crying silently in bed at this! OMG!🤣🤣🤣

I think what I was trying to get across is, yes it's gross, but they are family. If it were friends doing this sure, block them. But this is your husband's mother and sister and it's going to cause untold problems between you both which could be avoided if you were just more tolerant. His comment about the mortgage sucks but so does your threat to uninvite them to Christmas.

And you’re the one cooking. So you get final say as to who eats the food you prepare.