DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

[Christmasdayissue]

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU.

Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space.

Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue.

I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

Don't forget a thorough description of underwear after an evening of farting

It's amazing how many of the furiously anti-flatulence people on this thread seem to be far, far more obsessively fascinated by every biological and sensory detail of farts than the people who can tolerate the occasional post-prandial parp.

Honestly, I'm starting to think the anti-fart brigade doth protest too much. I swear to god there must be full-on fart fetishists who talk about it in less detail than the average fart-opposed Mumsnetter.

Probably because they're two completely different things?

JFC

Apparently being a selfish, disgusting fuckwit is normal to some people.

Both can be done in private

I think you’re being absolutely ridiculous and very very unreasonable. They farted for goodness sake - they didn’t insult you, damage anything, crap on the sofa or cause a mess! Everyone farts and thankfully most people aren’t quite as uptight as you about a perfectly normal bodily function. It’s only on Mumsnet when people are told they should leave the room or go to the lavatory if they want to break wind - in real life most people don’t have time to choose to leave the room to fart. Many people fart quite robustly after turkey and sprouts, so just buy some nice Christmassy room spray and don’t to such a misery.

People can only bear certain people's farts, it's scientifically proven. I can bear my DH's but not his family's.

So OP cooks for them and then has to hear and smell them fart it all out 🤮

What the fuck have I just read?

I have IBS but I can certainly avoid (and do avoid) free-farting in company. I can't imagine engaging in "dualing trumpets" while I guest in someone's home (including family member's homes), nor would I host someone who thought that appropriate.

They're a pair of pigs and you're not being unreasonable at all. It's a bit awkward for your DH to be put in this position, but he's going to teach his mother and sister basic manners.

And they are capable of not doing this normally, according to OP.

Even just a simple "Oh, I'm so sorry" would have been a big improvement. Nobody gets upset at an accidental wind break and an excuse me.

Unfortunately, mumsnet always had a solid core of people who are utterly obsessed with farting and determined to pretend that farting repeatedly anywhere and everywhere is no big deal and just hilarious.

They always show up to pretend that being a disgusting pig with no manners is normal, expected and reasonable.

And not one of them behaves like this in real life.

I was joking about the poo particles. I still think it’s extremely rude and bad mannered to let rip in company. Like I said there are two types of people when it comes to what is acceptable behaviour, those who think they have the right to fart wherever they like and those like me who would take myself of to the bathroom or at least a different room.

@Gardener82 The person you are quoting calls anyone who says anything reasonable that they disagree with a "nut job". They have had posts deleted for it before. They're just trolling.

I'd put on 'Gone with the wind' for them, and then i'd fuck off down the pub

I agree competitive farting is pretty childish but sorry op you sound ridiculously uptight.
farting in front of your children - do they not know people fart?
You are very lucky yo be rarely gassy, I have (diagnosed) digestive issues. It can be really embarrassing and really uncomfortable.

Yeah, I just wouldn’t be cooking anything for them.

Many mumsnet posters seem to think though that expecting people to behave with basic manners is “prudish.”

I’m assuming they wouldn’t behave like this in a workplace or a restaurant, and I’ve never understood why strangers deserve to be treated with more respect and care than your own family.

I had a friend do this once. Its different if it is one or two. But it was constant, sounded like a herd of bloody elephants and I feared for the wellbeing of the chair he was sat on. He also found it hilarious. It pissed me off - not that it was happening, but his total lack of regard for how it might be affecting anyone around him.

I see a large bottle of windeze under the tree for those two.

Oh it's just farting! I mean I fart like a trumpet, especially since the menopause but admittedly wouldn't do it publicly in my in-laws' house.. but if mine did it in mine I'd probably just suck it up.. so to speak. There are so many genuinely huge things in life to be stressed over and problems for families to fall out over. I couldn't be doing the latter over this.

Pretending to fart, like I do to wind the dog up, is funny but the smell? 🤢

How about a bit of fanny scratching whilst theyre at it

It’s disgusting . I wouldn’t want to spend my Christmas afternoon breathing in their revolting fumes . I’d tell DH to book for you all to go to the pub then you can enjoy Christmas in your home fart - free

Or copulating on the table? It’s natural innit..

A wee wank between courses

It's not something you can hold in without serious pain. Nor should you need to.

It’s the contempt for OP that is the “huge thing” here.

Then step outdoors.