DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

[Christmasdayissue]

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU.

Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space.

Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue.

I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

OP it's his FAMILY?! How can you even dream of uninviting them on Xmas Day for this reason??? If my partner suggested to me that they didn't want my family to come over on Xmas Day of all days because of such a stupid non reason I'd actually divorce them.

Is there another, deeper reason you don't like his family?

Absolutely.
His family behaving like baboons when they are guests is bad enough, but his daring to speak to OP in a threatening manner, to squelch her reactions by virtue of his having greater rights in the household, and the strange fact, implied at least, that these Yahoos haven't invited the couple to their own house before, nor dud OP and OH have them over at the rented gaff…well, it’s all a lousy pile of moose dung.
I couldn't endure those two guests’ behaviour in my own home, no matter how much empathy we all appear to extend to self-diagnosed ailments here.
(A serious medical issue is another thing of course; but it doesn’t appear to be the case here, in two separate women! They're just a pair of slobs)

Some self control, or at least some serious discussion, prior to a visit, about dietary limitations, please!

But as I said, it's really the husband who is the monster here, and I cant imagine the sterling qualities OP insists he possesses that allow her to put up with his attitude to her.

That’s really rude of them .
Ok everyone farts , some more than others especially if they have some food intolerances .
If that were me and my stomach was upset and windy I’d somehow make it to the bathroom and if I didn’t quite get there I’d apologise.
Also they ought to tell you what food intolerances they have so you can sort the food

I would be one step ahead here and buy a whoopie cushion. And make a point of sitting on it every 30 seconds and emitting a mad cackle. Get the kids on board with it too.

Then see how funny farting is to them after 12 hours of it.

I've got ibs and get extremely windy which I hate! I eat very sparingly during a flare up and try to control the parping when in company !

OP, just don't cook for any of them. Focus on having a lovely day with your dc.

DH will need to host his family.

I don't think they'll care. They do proper loud farts it seems, they will find whoopee cushion farts funny.

You could have chosen food that didn't make them fart. And your DC found it hilarious, anyway. Farting is natural. Wait until you are menopausal - the perineum becomes much more 'eleastic'?
And this:
Wherever you be let the wind flow free.
Not doing so was what killed me.
Found on a gravestone (several probably, as it's quite famous!).

Since I've got to perimenopause the stink of other people knocks me sick 🤣 I couldn't cope with that and yeah everyone farts but doing it deliberately thinking it's funny need to grow up ... do they they enjoy smelling rank in company.. horrible .

Should they have both each commandeered a toilet and locked themselves in for a couple of hours? Or left your house as soon as they'd eaten the last bite?

I know it's not great but I think you just need to open loads of windows and use air freshener/scented candles.

They knew she was serving a roast, the guests should have said at that point.
We all find farts funny. An hour of adults doing so w/o a care in the world in someone else's home isn't nice.

Not everyone farts more during perimenopause.

I have digestive issues, caused by bowel surgery. I can suffer from excessive wind. However, when this threatens I take Wind Settler gel caps. This settles the wind very quickly. Perhaps mil and sil might like to try them. You should be able to buy them in your local pharmacy or supermarket

My sibling married into non farters.
Not sure how two complete opposites have managed tbh.
Sibling has never heard spouse fart, sibling makes a habit of sharing theirs freely 😂

Personally I think yabu.
Are you willing to withhold your children from their relatives because of wind? Seriously? That seems more unhinged than farting......

Sounds perfectly fair, they're being disgusting fuckwits on purpose, no need to be around disgusting fuckwits ever again. But your real problem is your husband.

I am postmenopausal and somehow have managed not to let rip in front of others - I would be embarrassed to do it in front of ILs or DP. Obviously farting is natural but for guests to sit unapologetically tooting away is just rude. Her children may have found it funny but OP didn't, she just had to tolerate it in her own house. To me it sounds deliberately rude and pointed. It sounds, from OP's posts, as though she provided a selection of foods and they helped themselves to the 'dodgy' ones - so set themselves up.

Sometimes I think I have gone into a parallel universe on MN

I’d get a vuvuzeya (sp?!) then! Every time they fart blow it and count! Totes hilaire of course so they’ll love it…

Oh I know, it's absolutely insane sometimes.

So nut jobs, who don't realize clothes completely contain all the particles, even in sterile labs. Scientists have literally tested this. Its completely safe to particles in a sterile environment. It doesn't affect anything.

Hahaha, love the mental image, I think it's vuvuzela, that would be amazing 😂

I’d be disgusted too , I’d have told them to go and have a shit

People farting repeatedly around me makes me want to vomit, the stench is unbearable, I would definitely have had to leave.

We all have our moments, but it is normal and decent to simply apologise when you break wind. I have IBS and a few other digestive issues, and sometimes my stomach goes a bit nuts, on those occasions I go to the toilet until things have calmed down. At minimum I apologise.

I consider what I am eating if I have to travel or am visiting other people, because I am not a selfish, disgusting fuckwit.

Being a selfish, digusting fuckwit might be funny to other selfish, disgusting fuckwits, or small children, but I absolutely guarantee they would not have sat there in a cloud of noisy stench repeatedly breaking wind if they were in a work meeting or with someone they wanted to impress.

But again, the real problem is your husband.

And what do you think your children will learn from that?

If my husband invites people for dinner then he cooks, I don't care if they fart or not.

I'd be honoured that my ILs felt comfortable enough to let rip in front of me

I couldn't do it lol

this tickled me!!! As we have banned farting in the living room is the rest of the house fair game? Also what is the penalty if they break the no farting in the living room?
op I had really really bad indigestion during pregnancy- in fact I didnt even have to eat but it was like awful gas stuck in my throat. All the time even when I slep..I saw a gastrointestinal specialist and he said I had to to suck it up for the duration of the pregnancy as aside from omezerprole nothing else he could give me. Some things can’t be helped. But I understand it put you off. No advice really but it’s the kinda of thread that cheered me up

They can avoid shitting in public, but not farting?