DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

[Christmasdayissue]

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU.

Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space.

Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue.

I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

Op, this thread has given me a wonderful laugh this morning. It is better than an episode of Keeping up Appearances. Thank you!

I can’t imagine why your marriage didn’t work out.

Wow that remark about the mortgage was awful. No way I’d let that stand.
re your issue, I don’t think you can stop DH from inviting his family to his home but you don’t have to facilitate it. Take him up on the suggestion to all go out to eat somewhere instead (bet he backtracks). It is actually the best solution as it is difficult to uninvite them now.
Alternatively say fine, you can’t stop him from inviting them but he cannot make you cook for them. He can buy some frozen pizzas if he can’t cook. Or Xmas ready meals maybe. After eating make yourself scarce - a walk, hopefully they will go too.
And in the new year I’d be sorting out that mortgage remark. If you don’t work full time / earn less to facilitate family life I’d tell him if he persists with that attitude he’d better learn to cook as he is taking over 50% of household and child duty as you need to increase your earnings as apparently that is the only way to be treated with respect. Ask him which days he would prefer to cover. Git.

let dh take the guests out for a walk after linch to help with the digestion (or you do so that dh can clear up).

to not invite would be rude imo

Go elsewhere on the day and leave the fartfamily to it?

Yes. Or a drive

I would not want their dirty backsides sitting on my furniture. I have animals that have better manners than these two.

He believes that he is above you because he contributes more to the mortgage and he is using his revolting farting family to express his contempt towards you. They are not required to be polite in your presence because you @Christmasdayissue are a subordinate in their eyes.
I'd say it's time to stop doing all the things that facilitate him in his important job via which he pays more of the mortgage.

This is so gross. I’m prudish about farts too OP so get your issue completely. I just really hate bad odours and couldn’t sit in a room with someone regularly letting off, it would make me feel ill in truth.

Not sure what the solution here is because it obviously seems mean to disinvite them 3 weeks before because they have flatulence but it is grim, I agree.

They sound disgusting. Stick to your guns OP. It's one thing if someone accidentally let's one slip, but they were clearly being rude and disrespectful. I'm astounded at the people on here who think it's normal/acceptable.

Poached chicken and veg it is for all three of them then. I wouldn't say a word.

Oh FFS. I'm 60-something and definitely more flatulent now than I was in earlier years. It does seem to get worse after large meals. However, I can manage perfectly well to control it when in the company of others because it would be really rude otherwise. I might nip to the loo occasionally, and I'd definitely be up for a walk outdoors, though!

This x10000

I would truly sit and ponder at the level of jeering disrespect and nasty contempt toward me, that he and they are demonstrating.

Why rude? OP isn’t obliged to provide Christmas for nasty, ill-mannered louts. They have homes and can make their own Christmas since they can’t behave in a civilized manner in otgers’ homes.

Yep.

Some pp seem to overlook that these disgusting actions were deliberate, competitive and forced. Because these nasty people thought that putting on such a display was hilarious and great entertainment for the kids.

Talk about limited, stunted people. I would not lift a finger to facilitate Christmas for them.

Knowing your shit does stink and therefore not forcing everyone around you to be trapped in a room with never ending waves of it for hours is more appropriate.

His mother and sister clearly think their shit doesn’t stink and it’s fine for everyone else to huff on the putrid fumes. Merry fucking Christmas indeed!

I’ve accepted they are going to have to be here, and I have come to terms with the fact that if (when) they play up on the day I will go NC with them both thereafter.

Sorry you are going to have to endure them.

What about the "i get more say because I pay more of the mortgage" issue?

Keep some air freshener by you at all times and spray them every time they do it. They sound awful.

Let your goddawful H host his disgusting family then!

He pays more mortgage

you do the cooking/kids and god fucking knows what else. Stop!

If (when) they start farting, TELL THEM “you’re disgusting, this is unacceptable behaviour and that under no circumstances will you ever host them again.

@Christmasdayissue so who will do the cooking and house prep?

What a load of fuss about nothing.

Both you and your DH both sound awful tbh. You with your petty, intolerant attitude towards other people's health issues and your DH with his shitty attitude that he gets to dictate because he pays the mortgage.

Yes, your party SIL and MIL clearly lack a few social graces, but none of you are exactly covering yourselves in glory here.

Maybe just cancel Christmas altogether, it sounds utterly miserable all round.

I would do a bit of research - or ask - what they should and shouldn't be eating - is it a particular condition?

See if you can adapt the diet to make their meal/day more comfortable for them.

Ask DH to tell MIL/SIL that you are trying to teach DC manners so a pardon me or excuse me after they fart would be greatly appreciated, even if it is funny

This and your h is of course cooking isn’t he?