Would I be unreasonable to track someone down through their workplace?

[OneShyBear]

I’m a foster carer to 2 children. I met another foster carer by chance on Friday in a Costa when I was doing a care planning meeting on a zoom on my laptop. She overheard the whole meeting and then told me after that she was also a foster carer too and then we both chatted for over another 2 hours. At the end she wrote her phone number down on a piece of paper and told me to text her and keep in touch. We had worked out that we both had similar issues (with social services and in terms of support needed for our foster children) and similar experiences as foster carers and had worked out that we could both support each other and stay in touch as friends. I’ve lost the piece of paper that she wrote her number down on and I only have her first name and not her surname. During the conversation she did tell me that as well as being a foster carer she also works part time and she told me her workplace/the company (it’s a large/national company/organisation) that she works for too, would I be unreasonable to contact the company/organisation and give them my number and her first name (and the other information that she gave me during the conversation that could help her company identify the right person) and ask if they can track her down internally by any chance and pass on my number to her? Obviously I understand that they wouldn’t be able to give me her details or her number due to data protection but I could ask them to pass my number on to her if they could manage to track her down internally? Would I be unreasonable to do this? I’m happy to do it and I want to do it but my DH doesn’t think I should as he thinks that going through her workplace is “weird”. We both really got along well and genuinely intended to keep in touch (before I lost her number) as friends and we both had very similar experiences as foster carers too.

Yeah my salary has six figures in it with a decimal point 🤣
ah well least I have decent comprehension skills and a modicum of common sense

Didn’t see it was about a foster carer, but wrote the words foster carer in the suggestee social media post.

It's very worrying that some of the details that identify the parties are discussed openly in a coffee shop. Op you need to have a think about your professional duties of confidentiality and data protection.

And yet you were happy for any randoms in a coffee shop to hear about your fostering?

I hope you're making it all up, or if not hopefully another costa customer has reported you by now.

Well caught!

This sounds so unprofessional, should you be having a care planning meeting in earshot of others in Costa? Is that fair for the child?

Secondly, you seem to be so blinded by your own perspective that you aren’t considering the wider picture. Maybe the woman gave you the wrong contact details on purpose, precisely so you wouldn’t be able to contact her? You felt she was genuine but there’s always the possibility that she noped out of further contact. You might not have come across as well as you’re giving yourself credit for!

Finally, stalking someone at work is exactly what someone who holds a care planning meeting in Costa would do. You totally lack boundaries and common sense. I can assure you that the other lady would have sensed that…hence how you ended up without her contact details…

I think you are in the wrong job. Having a meeting about a vulnerable child in a public place where everyone and anyone can hear what you’re saying is totally unacceptable.

GDPR breach, I think that’s possibly a sackable offence. (The meeting, not the looking for the woman)

Did you ask for her number or did she suggest giving it to you? The reason I ask is I’m surprised she didn’t put her number in your phone and get you to give her a one ring call so that she could save yours. It’s a fail safe way of exchanging numbers. I haven’t written my phone number down for someone for years, although I might do that with a typo for someone who I didn’t want to stay in contact with but didn’t want to offend.

She asked me did I want to keep in touch and do I want her number. I didn’t ask her.

People are talking about this OP because it was wildly inappropriate and it should never ever have hapenned. The fact you don't see what a poor decision you made here and what the possible ramifications are is shocking. This is what you should be focusing on because you royally messed up here.

The risks associated with using a public wifi connection for confidential work is definitely a sackable offence.

Still won't answer if the people on the call with you knew where you were....

Yes, they do, and it doesn't seem right. I was in my local library the other day and overheard a woman, clearly from social services or a charity, phoning people up and telling them their application for emergency funding to cover rent, utility bills etc had been approved. All kinds of personal info was being disclosed for anyone to hear.

This.

Discussing such private, sensitive information about the intricacies of a vulnerable child’s life in a public setting is honestly disgraceful.

You mentioned Data Protection in your post, op.
The irony of you then having an entire meeting about a care plan for your foster child in a public place that could be (and clearly was) overheard by every passing random.
That’s quite shocking, actually.

Ah, that’s more promising. I doubt her work will help you or agencies. I think going back to the cafe on the same day at the same time is probably your only option. She might have the same idea

I don't see any issue with tracking her down through her workplace, after all, she shared that info and its not likely to be a breach of her employers security really (unless she's military or similar). Personally, I'd try LinkedIn and see if you can find her there first.

I am honestly shocked by this and the examples other people are giving of overhearing work calls that massively breach data protection requirements whilst in public places. That would be a firing offence anywhere I have worked.

My thoughts too.

You should not under any circumstances be having care planning meetings over zoom in a public place.

But it’s the inevitable consequence of what you’ve shared. And it still doesn’t seem like you’ve taken the concerns on board by planning to report your misconduct to ensure the potential risks can be managed as far as possible.

I’ll try that. That’s a good idea actually so thank you. I’ve already left my number with the Costa but I’ll try this too.

🤦‍♀️

I don’t see the issue with it either but my husband is adamant that going through her workplace would be “weird”? I’ve tried LinkedIn already but can’t find her unfortunately, I only have her first name though.

I’m glad it’s not just me that was massively shocked at the meeting being done in a Costa. Why wouldn’t you just do it in your car if you weren’t going to get home in time?

you definitely shouldn’t have done it in a public coffee shop and I’m surprised whoever was chairing the meeting allowed that at all. It’s not so much using their wifi etc, as the fact everyone could overhear your meeting including this person who heard the whole thing. She should as a fellow professional be reporting that.