DD and Friend hurt me yet I’m in the wrong?

[FoxPj]

DD had a friend over for a sleepover last night, they are 12. During the course of the night one or both of them wrote a “horror” message on the bathroom mirror which was a shock when I went in and saw it. I went in to speak to them both and DD screamed that I was embarrassing for crying. The friend looked shocked like she’d never seen an adult show emotion before and said they had done it to her mum too who had found it funny. She did apologise but added “it’s only lipstick, it wipes off easy”. DD then stormed out and told DH that I was embarrassing her and DH has taken their side saying it was a harmless prank and I need to lighten up.
Feeling so upset today. I thought DH would at least back me up.

Yeah christ, you must have known it was the kids larking about?

There are some real twats on here too, bitchy but probably don't have the guts to open their own front door and woss if someone had a go at them in real life.
It wasn't funny ro you OP, there is no shame in that, doesn't matter what randoms on here say anyway.

Of course your husband, your daughter and her friend are embarrassed. Your reaction is completely immature and over the top. It’s just a harmless prank.

seriously? If this is an issue how do you get through life?

They wrote 'murder' badly on a bathroom mirror. Hardly the crime of the century. And I am finding it hard to comprehend that an adult a) didn't immediately realise this was done by the two children she had in her house at the time and b) jumped to 'intruder' and burst into tears.

But then I'm finding pretty much all of this thread difficult to believe comprehend

I’d message the friend’s mother in your shoes op

because I imagine the friend went back to her mum with quite an eventful story about how the sleepover went!

You were upset by what you saw and, prank or not, you weren’t unreasonable to respond accordingly. It sounds as though your daughter knew exactly how you’d react, so she shouldn’t be surprised, and will have to accept that if she is laughed at it will be because of her “prank” and she’ll have to find a way of dealing with it, just as she and her Dad expect you to.

at 12 your dd is old enough to know that a prank could go wrong and she knew you didn't like horror films

its a prank that has gone wrong and the best outcome is realising that not everyone finds pranks funny, so be careful when planning a prank to make sure this type of thing doesn't happen

your dd needs to be able to take responsibility when something goes wrong, its not your fault the prank went wrong but her friends and her fault. They should just both say sorry and everyone move on and hopefully learn something from the incident

And, if you were genuinely scared it's not a normal reaction to go crying to two 12 year olds anyway. Surely as the adult in the house you would be taking steps to protect them if you genuinely thought there was a threat.
Instead you're causing a scene in front of your dd ad her friend. Nothing about this is normal behaviour.

The young you would have been cleaning off your mess yourself, even if I had to go over it later to do a proper job!

Its ok that op didn't find it funny

It isn't ok to burst into daughter's room crying, where she has a friend sleeping over to confront them. Thats mortifying for a teenager

Much better to explain to dd today that the prank wasn't funny and she doesn't want that behaviour in the house
And make her clean the mirror.

It was an ill thought out prank but the girls didn't mean real harm. Daughter didn't deserve to have her mums reaction in front of her friend

Comedy gold.

Is this the same poster that fell in a shop and had two people carry her home in tears, because it sounds the same

So without any knowledge of the shining the word ‘redrum’ made you cry?? Give over love.

Were you under the impression a dead horse had scrawled his name across the mirror with his skeletal hoof?

It was something from the shining apparently. I don’t watch horror films and don’t appreciate them being forced on me.

Well as I’ve never seen the shining I didn’t immediately know it was from a film.

If you are unaware of the context then it's just 'murder' written in 12 year old's handwriting on a mirror.

The word was murder written in lipstick, but she’s too sensitive to actually write the word murder apparently

Why should he? The OP is clearly in the wrong. Why isn't she the twat for not agreeing with her husband that it was just a prank?

Think about things logically before you go off on one, the " intruder" would probably make a right noise breaking in to the house, sneaked past you to go upstairs and waste time looking for a red lipstick in your make up bag to write something on the mirror, most burglars like to be in and out of a house quickly, not waste time writing bollocks on bathrooom mirrors...

It's pretty likely tbf.

was it a very expensive lipstick? I’d be pissed off too

And I don’t suppose at all pleasant for the poor friend

I understand you being shocked but I would have composed myself before going in and speaking to DD and her friend. I would have been mortified if my mum had done this or a friends mum had done this. If you didn’t like what they did then I would have spoken to DD separately, even told her off, but kept her friend out of it.

I don’t watch horror movies either and actively avoid them and I’m an easy crier and still frankly can’t imagine making this much of a scene in front of my child’s friends.

I’d probably just laugh it off and put it down as a funny family story down the line instead of trying to get DH to back me up.

This is exactly how my mother would have reacted, she would embarrass me constantly in front of my friends with over emotional responses to things.

Seriously, OTT. It’s an obvious prank given that there were others in the house who are the more likely culprits. If my teen did that I’d be telling them “ha ha very funny, now go clean it up” and if it was my lipstick I’d be talking about boundaries and not using my make up without asking first.

Exactly.

You have embarrassed your DD. It was just a silly prank. They are kids.

If its that big of a deal you could have had a quiet word with her the next day after her friend left.

Crying in front of her and friend and claiming a couple of 12 year olds have 'hurt' you sounds like shitty behaviour.

It sounds like you want to make your DD feel bad. Not good. Sorry if I'm wide off the mark here but it sounds a bit emotionally manipulative.