DD and Friend hurt me yet I’m in the wrong?

[FoxPj]

DD had a friend over for a sleepover last night, they are 12. During the course of the night one or both of them wrote a “horror” message on the bathroom mirror which was a shock when I went in and saw it. I went in to speak to them both and DD screamed that I was embarrassing for crying. The friend looked shocked like she’d never seen an adult show emotion before and said they had done it to her mum too who had found it funny. She did apologise but added “it’s only lipstick, it wipes off easy”. DD then stormed out and told DH that I was embarrassing her and DH has taken their side saying it was a harmless prank and I need to lighten up.
Feeling so upset today. I thought DH would at least back me up.

Or Jack Nicholson will come through it with an axe?

Oh come on @FoxPj you really thought that a person had sneaked into the house intending to murder you all in your beds and put their intention to do so on the bathroom mirror for you to find prior to the deed taking place?

Your daughter and husband are right, you totally over-reacted and you owe your daughter and her friend an apology for doing so.

The friend looked shocked like she’d never seen an adult show emotion before I imagine the friend was shocked by seeing a grown adult having such an extreme reaction to a silly prank, especially as her own mother had had the same prank played on her and reacted appropriately.

Sorry, your reaction sounds completely over the top. Think you need to find your sense of humour.

I would be annoyed but why did you cry? Seems like an over reaction to me

Me too.

Although my kids aren't old enough to have heard of Red Rum so that might actually be more disconcerting than Murder!

OP, it sounds like you massively overreacted. Are you perhaps struggling with anxiety that has somehow got out of control? Maybe it's time to seek some help from your GP.

I would have been mildly irritated if dd and her friends had done something like this. Some people might have found it amusing. Either way, feeling terrified and crying is quite extreme.

I do understand your dd feeling embarrassed about your reaction, but you can't undo that now. Maybe think about how you can improve your mental wellbeing for the future to avoid this kind of thing happening again.

Now if I genuinely thought someone was in the house or had been then my first thought would be to call for DH
And given the histrionics of the OP I imagine the DD screaming at her was more along the lines of DD says oh fgs mother you are soooo embarrassing.

Saying Hey Honey I'm home😆

A bit oversensitive unless there is a tragic backstory. Your poor daughter must have been so embarrassed.

Kids do silly stuff. I would be more pissed off about them wasting lipstick and how long it's going to take to wipe the stuff off

You overreacted and embarrassed your dd. I would have laughed then got them to wash it off.

Your daughter’s friends will catch onto this unfortunately.
Definitely consider a grounding technique if you see anything written on a mirror but I don’t think you will now in your house. Don’t worry about it anymore and apologise to your daughter.

If this is real it sounds like you were guilt-tripping your daughter, even if not consciously done.

Unless you’ve experienced a recent bereavement or a past traumatic physical attack, your reaction was very extreme. Are you generally an anxious person?

Imagine the OP's reaction if the kids had written 'candyman' 3 times.

Despite her inevitably claiming not to understand it.

See, even I got that, and I’m a wuss who’s never seen The Shining or read the Stephen King story it’s adapted from. I still know JN goes nuts with an axe, there are sinister twins, a child on a tricycle, and a deserted hotel. In fact, it’s mildly disturbing how much I know about a film I’ve never seen.😀

But most pranks are not funny. And her DD knew her mum would not like it. So this is quite a predictable (if embarrassing for DD) embarrassment. Perhaps she should have not gone along with this particular one?

😆

And I would definitely have gone into the girls room shouting Here's Johnny

OP- please be careful. If anyone writes that phrase on a mirror more than once in the space of a month, it opens a portal to the dark side where spirits can travel through the mirror into your home.

This is not to be taken lightly.

I do think you overreacted OP. Yes what they did is wrong, but think you should have told them off and made them clean it. It was unnecessary to cry but your DD's attitude stinks.

Heeeaaaars Jonny !!!

I hate pranks and can see why it would be a bit of a shock upon walking in half asleep. Maybe crying is quite a strong response, but they shouldn’t have done it.

Pranks are just sanitised forms of bullying in most cases I think and I think it’s good your child has had an unwanted reaction.

I should imagine that your (absolutely ridiculous) reaction was really quite distressing for your child's friend, nevermind highly embarrassing for your daughter!! If that was my child then that would be the end of sleepovers at your house. Those poor kids!

In light of your updates, if it scared you then it scared you, most of us have a phobia of some kind so can sympathise.

I can see why she's embarrassed though so I stand by my earlier comment of managing your reaction when she's in the company of friends - keep it private and ground yourself and then speak to her when the friends have gone.

As for your daughter being teased, I'd tell her to respond with something like "my mum feels about horror the way some people do about spiders" - the younger generation are much better than previous generations at accommodating others so having a mature response to any teasing is an excellent way to deal with.

Oh FFS! this just worse... being forced on you 🙄
It was a teenage prank, get over yourself! Your poor DD.