Work Raffle - Colleague claims I’ve damaged their feel motivation

[WorkRaffle]

Last year I was gifted a candle in secret Santa. Great, I love candles and wax melts.

However, for reasons related to environmental concerns and the composition of the candle (the wax used), I won’t use it.

Absolutely fine. Instead of chucking it in the bin, I just kept onto it and waited for this year’s raffle to come by as I figured it would be a good choice. All raffle proceeds go to charity and people only buy a ticket because it’s for charity rather than because they want something nice. So I gave my candle to the raffle.

Anyway, work colleague discovered I had submitted the candle to the raffle! She’s really angry and brought it up yesterday in our weekly catch-up.

I was pretty thrown. Apparently my gifting the candle to the raffle has impacted the colleagues motivation as they don’t feel valued!

AIBU to think the person is being completely ridiculous and unreasonable to have bought it up - it’s a candle from Boots, not their life’s work!!!

It’s not, it would be if the colleague wasn’t there but she is and this is extremely rude.

Of course you’re not partaking, you believe yourself to be totally above such things. Jeez, with every post you prove that you are horrible.

IKR?

LMAO - what a nasty snobby person she is

She's sensitive... she's not none of us...

OMG, just own it. It says totally rude and unclassy!

You could literally have donate to a charity of your choice and saved someone's feelings.

Unbelievable.

This is the sort of thing I can’t imagine caring much about but as a leader I’m flummoxed that you cannot understand why someone would be upset in these circumstances.

you owe your colleague a proper apology (not one of the “I’m sorry if you were hurt” variety) and you should genuinely reflect on your sub optimal behaviour.

Colleague is batshit, but it was quite thoughtless and tone deaf to regift the candle at work.

YANBU. Sick of folk pandering to this kind of shit. She sounds like a total melt. (intended).

Your colleague is pathetic and needs to grow up. However it’s a bit cringe to have put the candle back into the raffle where it’s fairly obvious that it would have been clocked that you were regifting!

Yes, its a complete mystery why her work colleagues dont appear to like her isnt it?

Absolutely baffling 🤣

Christ you sound dreadful.

Why would a charity want a cheapo candle?! They might take a Jo Malone one, but they aren’t going to take a £10 one!

Being unable to imagine why someone would be bothered by something which would not bother you indicates you lack insight and empathy.

It’s astounding such character flaws are still being found in people who lead teams.

I’m amazed they remembered what they got you a year later!

Did you mention it was a re-gift ? You could have styled it out and said you liked yours so much you thought another one would make a good gift!

So you're a crashing snob as well as a bad manager.

I’m very confused as to how doing a voluntary donation to the charitable cause - and not partaking of the raffle and taking something I don’t want - makes me horrible?!

Surely not bidding for things I don’t want, but doing a voluntary donation instead actually makes me a better person than bidding for crap I don’t want or need?

Have you been in a charity shop? Lots of them sell all kind of shite

Ultimately putting it back in the raffle is thoughtless. If I was your colleague I’d have told you straight out how rude and ungrateful you were!

I was too thrown! Mostly because I couldn’t believe anyone would ask that, or even notice…

I sat there for a few moments and then said ‘yes.’

Can’t believe that people say she is a bad manager because she didnt like the candle and put it in a raffle a year later

guess some people don’t know a good manager when they have one

never been so tempted to call someone a snowflake- the standards of personal robustness are plummeting

Why would a charity want a cheapo candle?! They might take a Jo Malone one, but they aren’t going to take a £10 one!

Er, the entire point of charity shops is that the prices are reasonable so people will be inclined to shop there.

Which charity shops have you been in that only sell Birkin bags and Gucci shoes?

It’s certainly not an excuse for doing no work for a week. She’s a lazy bastard and making excuses.

Have you read the rest of OPs comments? She sounds pretty horrendous to work with.

OP - well Jenny is there something wrong, you haven't done much work this week on the thing you're doing for me?

Colleague well Sandra maybe if you didn't put my gift to you into the raffle in front of my face I wouldn't have lost motivation to help you...queue sarcastic smile and hair flick.

Kudos to Jenny!

guess some people don’t know a good manager when they have one

I have, which is why its very obvious OP is a bad one

Tbh, the fact you put it in the work raffle where the colleague is likely to see it could come across quite passive aggressive. It would have been better at the local school fair or regifting elsewhere.

massive faux-pas

That was a mean and thoughtless thing to do OP, yet you can’t seem to see that, although the majority of people on here have said exactly the same thing.
Sometimes we just have to admit that yes, we made a mistake not keep arguing that we’re right.