Husband wants to leave the uk post budget….

[Maryaliceyoungx]

husband wants to leave and don’t get me wrong - I do see why. We are being hammered in the budget, we drive shitty cars, the rain is shit… life in the UK can be pretty shitty right now. he works for a US based company and I am a US citizen as I was born there and spent my life until my early teens there (parents are British and were working out there) so I see why he wants to go -it would be good for his career and would be potential to make money without the huge tax burden of the UK (company based in low state tax state)

but I don’t want to go… I love my life here. I love our village and my kids lovely village school. My family is here and I worry my parents don’t have so much time left.

however i do have to recognise the money aspect- my husbands job could be impacted by AI so i think he is right in thinking we should max out our earning potential while we can and we just won’t be able to do that here as it will just be taxed away.

aibu for sacrificing potentially huge earnings just because I love village life? Would it even be cheaper? I would insist upon private school in the US(went to state school in the us and have a lot of trauma from that!) and we wouldnt sell our house here so would need to rent. Most recent trip to thr us - over a year ago and cost of living was sky high.

I’ll be honest - couldn’t care about the politics. Politics are shit whereever you go!!

You do realize it's changed a lot? That said, they're are very good public schools depending on where you live. It sounds like you think all private and public schools are the same, you could have a bad experience at either.

With you stopping working, private school, and lots of trips back to help parents how much will you save?

Yes politics are for other people. Publicly educated kids are for other people. Op has to stay away from the riff Raff! Gotta love an ostrich.

Milk costs £2 in the UK as well and the groceries are not much cheaper or higher quality in the UK. The fruit and veg in the UK is atrocious compared to somewhere like Portugal or Spain. I have done many grocery shops in both the UK and the US and there is not a vast cost difference. Maybe it's less obvious to me as a vegan, so most of the good stuff is imported in the UK and I also go to places like trader Joe's, Fred Meyer and whole foods in America, but I've certainly never had the experience most posting here seem to have. I do however remember on many occasions saying "oh my god, everything is so much cheaper here in America". I am also able to get much more variety and better vegan options in America so I'm prob biased.

I think you should go if it’s a serious offer (not click bait). Why wouldn’t you?

Think you will find technology & nursing has changed since the 70’s. I didn’t get a degree either spent 36yrs in the nhs.

how long do you think patients would stay alive if there were no doctors or no nurses? I spent 11yrs in medical research but did that make me a better clinician no it didn’t.

I do believe that degrees have prevented very capable people of entering the profession. They now have nursing associates which allows a non direct route into nursing.

Not sure the uk classes pizza as a vegetable so they can feed to school kids.

Sorry my comments were a bit harsh. Triple the salary is a lot of money. You said you don't know what rents are in America, obviously this will vary greatly depending on where you're living.

Not sure children's lunches have anything to do with the cost of groceries. However, are you saying that they feed pizza to kids in America and don't in the UK? I haven't had school lunch in a long time so I don't really remember what we had but I don't remember it being that bad. I also don't have kids so I have zero vested interest in what they are fed in general, regardless of location.

Have a look at https://www.youtube.com/@MacandBlair
they are Americans living in the uk, they comment on the differences.

Well, my American friend (nearly 60) of nearly 20 years has lived in a Scandinavian country for over 30 years - she has 4 siblings back in the US and wouldn't move back under any circumstances. High on the list of reasons is the fact that she and her husband have had health problems that have require a lot of on going support from their health service. They have both had to stop work. In the US, she said, she would be homeless. She's always supported the high tax system where she lives because of the benefits for her and her children - childcare, university education, health care, public transport. Neither she nor her husband ever expected to run in to so many health, housing and financial difficulties. I have 2 other friends who moved to the US for their husbands work and both would like to return but for quite different reasons (too much to go in to the details right now TBH) - one is in Texas, the other Iowa.

You sound unhinged.

I see a previous poster has mentioned your tax returns. I was coming on here to mention that. As a US citizen, you are supposed to have been filing tax returns every year, even if you ended up not having to pay any tax. My children were born in the US and are citizens. We left when they were fairly young. But when my oldest was recently offered some work over there, he discovered he was supposed to have been doing this every year, and it was a real problem that he hadn't. He would have owed some back taxes and added fines before being allowed back in.

The other thing I was going to mention was that we moved out there for several years with a big multinational company. After the transfer was agreed, the US side suddenly mandated a minimum 60-hour week, minimum six days a week in the office schedule for everyone for the next 12 months. There was some big product rollout they needed to get done. They didn't pay any overtime. All they gave us at the end was five days paid leave and a choice of paid destinations.

That was very nice, but it didn't go anywhere near to making up for the fact that I had a one-year-old when we arrived and was seven months pregnant with my second child.

The utter disregard for workers' rights was one of the many reasons we didn't stay long term. The idea of our children having to walk through metal detectors to get into school and do regular gun drills was another. As was the cost of even company-funded healthcare. There is still usually quite a large deductible you have to pay. And the cost of university education is outrageous.

I can see why you are considering going for the money. And depending which state you are thinking about, it may be enough to make it worthwhile for you. But do bear in mind also that if your husband loves it over there and you don't, he can prevent you bringing the children home. I don't think there's much you can legally do about that.

My goodness - so many people will be worse off, inflation and tax bands remaining the same.

Net effect - a pay cut, less disposable income.

Basic maths appear to be something that a lot of MN posters lack!

Responses on threads like these - moving to USA - are always the same. We did it not so long ago. The reality is VERY different from 99% of your responses above (who've never lived in America). Where are you thinking of going, and then I may be able to offer some advice?

This - with bells on.

Focussing on the economics, its a complicated picture.

The US has significantly higher salaries and significantly higher disposable income (disposable income being salary after taxes).

On cost of living, the overall CoL is only a little higher in the US than the UK on average but, in major cities, the US CoL is a lot, lot higher than UK cities. A lot of London-based professionals will ultimately have more money left over, at the end of the month, than their New York based counterparts.

If finances are the driver, you'd do well to price things out as fully as possible, because a higher salary doesn't mean you'll be doing better overall.

Worth adding, too, that the average American works significantly more hours anually than the average Brit (1,800 for the US compared to 1,500 for the UK)

That was the biggest culture shock for me when making a similar move (UK to Canada).

What a charmer you are! Yet another example of a good reason for OP to want to leave the UK. I rather suspect an element of envy in a lot of these posts.

Honestly, I can't believe the attitude of so many Brits towards anyone who wants to leave. It may come as a huge shock to you but there are many Brits living in all corners of the world, leading perfectly happy lives (yes, even in the US).

Just for some perspective, I currently live in the US and I would give anything to come back home.

General life here is insanely expensive. Groceries, clothes, travel, bills etc are so expensive compared to when we moved here 15 years ago. When i hear how much friends and family pay for similar items/ bills in the UK it makes me feel ever so slightly sick!

I live in a low state tax state but to make up for it we get absolutely hammered with property taxes, which are around 1.5% of the value of your home, to be paid annually.

Insurance - car, house and particularly health - is crippling. Even paying $10k+ a year in health insurance premiums for our family (and this is considered a ‘good’ plan) we still pay $$$ towards our deductible before the insurance actually kicks in. Car insurance for 2 fairly average family cars is currently around $1200 every six months. This one really shocked me! Currently getting quotes for house insurance for when we renew in a few weeks and they’re averaging $4500 for the year.

If you’re wanting private schooling too, unless it’s included in a work contract (these perks are increasingly getting squeezed out too) then you’re going to need to be earning extremely good salaries. Wages here can sound very very good until you realise that all your expenses are going to raise significantly.

I realise this post is sounding very negative but it’s absolutely not all roses over here, regardless of which state you move to. And that’s without even getting started on politics! Village life in the UK, close to family and friends, while not perfect I’m sure sounds so much more appealing to me right now than life here.

Write down what the cost of everything will be, and I mean everything.

Housing
Furniture - will you buy or rent? Or will you rent a furnished place?
Food/groceries
Healthcare - even with insurance there are normally co-pays, and ambulances cost a fortune and may not be covered by insurance
School fees
A college fund for your children, they will be able to come back to the UK for uni if they want but they will pay international fees
A meal out or take away every week
Cars
Petrol
Taxes
Do you have to pay for transport for your children at private schools?
School materials, pens, paper etc.
School uniform
Flights back to the UK - how often do you intend to visit?
Coffee at work for your DH (or on the way to /from work)
Food at work for your DH or would he be happy with a pack up?

Anything else you can think of, eg depending on the state do you need extra warm winter clothing?

Then look at the British numbers so you can compare.

What state would you be moving to?

You need to get out more

It really matters WHERE you’re going… we moved from UK to west coast, state has strict gun control. Our DCs public school is excellent. I’m sorry you were traumatized but frankly, the UK system sounds shit with 30+ kids in a primary class… reality is there are good schools and bad schools everywhere. So you really don’t necessarily need to pay for private school.

Dh’s salary was 2x his UK salary and our house is in a better area than London and our mortgage is pretty small… but my neighbors are renting a nearly identical house for $5.5k a month. That’s pretty standard in our city for a 3 bed house in a decent neighborhood.

most employers don’t cover 100% of healthcare costs. Like almost none do. Very rarely they might cover all of the premiums but you’ll still have copays and other out of pocket costs.

Vacation: many employers do give you holiday right away. DH and I both have more than we did in the UK. I had 28 days and now have unlimited (plus public holidays). DH has about the same.

Groceries are much more expensive. Overall we’re absolutely better off than we were in London and have much better healthcare than the NHS but we’re not much better off in a life changing, retire in 5 years kind of way. I love it here but I wouldn’t blow up my life and move somewhere I knew no one for the money you’re talking about.

For context, we earn $350k a year and have a nice life but we have one older car, save about $80-90k a year and usually fact 5-6 holidays. We’re not rolling in it by any means.

For those in the know, which parts of the US ARE great/worth living in with fabulous cheese?Not looming to move there,just curious.Maine I adored but haven't been in 20 years so somewhat out of the loop.